Singles Awareness Day

Another Singles Awareness day(Valentines day) has past and this one was actually not that bad. Lets get into a back story here before I go on about the Singles Awareness weekend.

New years I spent in town but that wasnt for lack of trying. My sister was going to Vegas to meet 3 of her girlfriends that were flying in from Canada. One of the friends that was meeting her there was Maggie. I wanted to see her but didnt want to intrude on my sister's girls' weekend so I decided I was going to hang back. A friend called me 2 weeks before new years and told me that he had a room booked in vegas and I should go with him for new years because it would be a great time. This is when the light bulb turned on in my head. I would be able to go to vegas with the boys and since I would be in the same city as Maggie I would be able to meet up with her and my sis for a lil during the weekend. It was going to be perfect!

I texted Maggie and let her know I may be coming to vegas. I got no response. I texted her again the weekend before and asked her if she wanted to meet up in vegas if I was out there. No response. I thought that was really weird so I asked my sis about it and then she dropped the bomb. "Maggie may be dating someone" Wow, ok I get it now. This isn't a big deal. She is allowed to date people, who am I to say she can't? I date people too. My sis said to me, "If you go to vegas we can all hang out just don't expect anything from Maggie cause of the guy she may be dating. He won't be there but you know as well as I do that she isn't like that. It will be fun though."

GGGGgrrrrr. That is when I got to thinking. From the moment I met Maggie there was a connection and a spark. We were just friends for a good hours before anything happened between us and I still think that 6 hours was filled with sparks. I couldn't go to vegas and not see her. This chick lives in a different country than me and its not every day that we end up in the same city. If I did go to vegas I would want to see her. On the other hand, being just friends with her in vegas would be hard too. I dont know what that is like to be just friends with her. The connection between us is strong and I know nothing else other than being completely head over heels in like with the girl. I didn't want to go to vegas and deal with awkward sexual tension because was dating someone so with that I decided not to go. There were other reasons for not going too but that one was right up there at the top of the list.

I never heard anything else of her dating this guy and hadn't talked to her till about a month ago when she texted me saying she was going to come visit and stay with my sis for valentines weekend. I had such mixed feelings about this. My inner dialogue was a mess.

Is she still dating someone? Should I ask? If she is and I ask and she says yes then does that mean I should make myself scarce for the weekend? Is she texting me to warn me that she will be there because she feel obligated since my sis is also my roommate? If she is here and she is dating someone but I dont know then is it really bad if I have a girl around? Are we going to hang out when she gets here? I know I'm not going to make a move out of respect but if she doesn't in the first couple nights then is it bad if I hang out with some other girls?

This was all I could think about and then I decided to not worry and see what happened.

She flew in on Thurs night and my sis picked her up and brought her home. When they got home I was already in bed. At 3am my door opened and she came in and said hi. She came on my bed and we talked for a minute but I totally forgot what it was about because I was half asleep.

The next day was friday and after work I decided to not worry about what she was doing and invited some friends over before we went out. My sister texted me and said her and Maggie wanted to hang out and to wait for them before we went out. This was a good sign. We all met at my place, had some drinks and then went to a club. We weren't in the club for more than 15 minutes before Maggie came up to me and gave me a big fat kiss and told me how much she missed me.

AWESOME!

This answered every single one of my questions and couldnt have made me happier. That night we were all over the place, dancing, holding hands, making out in a corner, its like we were high school kids. She ended up sleeping in my bed that night and for the rest of her trip.

My valentines day was spent with her and some good friends on sort of a triple date where we all just went to a local bar and had some drinks and a great time.

Maggie is an awesome girl and I like her a lot. My good friend Dan hung out with us a couple nights and saw us together. He said he has never seen me with another girl like the way I was with her and that means a lot because we have been good friends for a while and he knew me when I was with my ex.

Now she is back home and I am home and lovesick again. I am not strung up on her but it would be nice to have her around more often. I wonder how things would change if she was around more often or even lived around here. I guess I will never know so its back onto the market for me. It was fun with her for a weekend and it was like I was in a relationship again. Now she is in Canada and I am in Orange County on the prowl....Until she visits again.

Online Dating?

GGGRRrrrr. My stepsister and I recently got a place together and now we are the best of roommates. She is from Canada and new to Orange County which is a huge difference. As a good big brother I took her out and introduced her to boys and gave her a look into the social scenes I am used to. She met some of my friends and flirted and what not and then she found out about a free dating website that one of her friends turned her onto. She said she didn't want to have to rely on me to meet people and not being from around here like at all, she didn't really know anyone.

She signed up for the site and started talking to boys and as her roommate and stepbrother of course I was interested. She let me read some messages and what not and I would critique her flirting and then it hit me! I am sitting here telling my sister how to flirt and online date but she has never seen me do it and that is a big no no. I decided to take it one step further and start a dating site profile and teach her first hand so she could see the other side of the firing lines.

When I first started it was all new to me and then I realized that I HATE INTERNET DATING.

My internet dating consisted of me looking at profiles an then not knowing what to write the girl and clicking onto the next one thinking that seeing a different girl would spark my creative side and get me to write something. NOT! I know all the tricks of it and what not and all the rules you are supposed to go by.

-Be creative
-Show your personality
-don't copy and paste the same message to many girls
-Read their profile
-Comment on their profile

I know! I know! I get it but lets look at what it really is.

I see my sister's inbox and understand what online dating is about when you are in your mid 20's. Guys look at girls' profiles and quickly skim for any hint of good looks. Once this happens they will shoot over a message that has maybe worked once before. "Hey cutie" "Hi, how are you", you get the idea. Something generic to see if the girl responds so they didnt spend time thinking of a message to write that will get denied.

Now the girl will receive such message and see it as a message that gets sent to everyone and will brush it off in a second but not before she checks out the guys pictures to make sure she isnt brushing off a looker. Once that is established then onto the next profile.

I wrote 1 person and then I stopped, I guess online dating is an art but why would you want to date someone who has perfected the art of online dating? Wouldn't you wanna date someone who hasn't? Someone who isn't meeting a new girl every week from the interweb?

So here is what I wrote that got no response and thus has put me back on the, "Update my profile and wait for someone to write me" side of online dating.

In the, "You should contact me if..." section she wrote:

you actually have something to say. and no, "you're cute" does not qualify. general note: i bore VERY easily.

you use proper punctuation and grammar. i'm judgemental, i can't help it.

you're not some hopeless dope head.

you have a very healthy sense of humor.

you aren't a flake or a douche bag. don't play dumb, you know who you are.

Now, I read this and wrote the following in the form of a message:

Subject: Ok, So I think I got this

Body:

I read your profile and was going to start with, "you're cute" but thanks for the warning about that. We can skip over punctuation and grammar thing cause firefox has spell check. Hopeless dope head? Lets just stick with hopeless. I don't know if people would describe my sense of humor as healthy but it is there and I haven't had any complaints in 23 years. Flake and douche bag? Definitely not me, I own no ed hardy or affliction clothing and that is a true story.


Clever right? I am still grinning from my message cause I thought it was oober clever but I guess not. Nope. Nothing. I got nothing. I followed the rules and the rules suck. Im going back to the real thing cause the online one isnt for me.

I'll let you know if my, "Stand back and wait" attitude has a better result.

Refreshing The Roster

I know the last 2 posts have been about the same girl but don't get me wrong, I am not hung up on one girl :-) Yes, I would like to see where hanging out with her gets me but all the effort I have put in got me nowhere and I haven't ruined anything yet. All I can do is sit back and wait for her to come to me. It's not that I got my hopes high, when we were hanging out she would act as if she was my girlfriend. She would hold my hand, snuggle up next to me in a seat and ask me for kisses. Some girls who have done this in the past have just annoyed me but for some reason this girl didn't annoy me and I kind of liked it. This girl did everything right on paper except initiating a meeting.

Talking with Cheese this weekend he said that he thought she was super weird because she loved hanging out with him and his girlfriend and would always want them to call me over but hanging out with me on my own is different? WEIRD! I guess I just don't get it and instead of trying to talk to her and find out why I will just sit back. I have only known her about 2 months now but I am not going to be that creepy guy that wants to have a serious talk after some fun times. That is that.

Now, onto some other girls :-)

I was at a bar a couple weeks ago and walking through the bar I get my arm grabbed and I spin around to see who it is.

Christine: Stanley? Mason Stanley?
Mason: Yes?
Christine: OMG! Hi, come here, how are you? How is your brother?

The minute she asked about my brother I recognized her. Lets back track a little bit to that story:

I was at a friend's apartment one night about 4 years ago when I was on the balcony and saw 2 girls on a balcony across the way. When I say across the way, I mean I could only see 2 blondes and that is it, no faces or anything. The girls were far. I yelled to them and we yelled back and forth when I decided it would be fun to exchange numbers and we did. I called them and we stood on the balcony talking to each other across the way still not knowing anything about each other. We did the name game and all of a sudden she knew my brother. We talked later and then she added me on myspace and to my surprise she was actually really cute! We talked on myspace for a little bit but it never went anywhere. We never hung out or anything. Now that I think about it, we never hung out at all. Just myspace friends

That leads me to this night. I couldn't point where I knew her from until I found out her name. YES! That's it! The funny thing is that I had never met her in person until this night. The balcony night didn't count because we were so far away. I decided.

We talked for a little in the bar and then walked her friend to the car. After we walked the friend to the car on the way back into the bar we stopped outside the bar to talk. I don't know what it is but I was feeling spontaneous so I looked at her when she was in mid sentence, "You talk to much" and then I went in for the kiss and BAM! We were making out outside the bar. It was public but around the corner from the bar so not where everyone could see, maybe just the people leaving. It was nothing too hot and heavy, nothing too long and I made sure I was the one to stop it.

From there we went back inside and had another drink and ended up hopping in a cab together.

Mason: Where are we going?
Christine: We are going back to my place.
Mason: Where is that.
Christine :[city where she lives]
Mason: No way! That is way too far. That's at least a $75 cab ride. My place is closer, we are going there.
Christine: Ok, we can go there if you pay for the taxi.
Mason: Ok, sounds good.

We got back to my place and watched tv and ended up passing out in my bed together. There was no sex, just a little make out session and then some sleepy time. We texted the next day for a little bit:

Mason: You left your bra at my place, if you wanted to see me you could have called instead of leaving a bra
Christine: Ha! It's a present for you.
Mason: It's not my size sweetie, I guess I will just re-gift it.
Christine: You better not! What are you going to get me now?
Mason: Whoa, I can't even use your present, you have to get me a new one and then we'll talk about you.
Christine: Grrr, I want my present.
Mason: Ok, we will talk about and see how good you are ;-)

That was about all the texting until about 2 weeks after the incident she drunk dials me and I picked up but no one with me or her was sober enough to drive so we never had our late night hang out. Then just last night She called at around 10:30 or so and I was in bed and decided not to pick up the phone. I wonder what she wanted. Not late enough to be a booty call and too late to see if I wanted to hang out. I am just guessing she was already out. I guess I will never know. I am not needy enough to call her or text her to find out what it was about, we will just wait to this weekend to see what she is doing but as of now between 3 jobs I don't really get out during the weekdays.

The single life continues...

GSF

Grrr, why can't dating me easy. Ok, so maybe that is asking too much but come on! Last post I talked about a girl, Nina, that I recently met and was kinda into but she was confusing the bejeesus outta me. Now it only gets better.

After that post I decided to take the back seat approach to this girl. I stopped texting, I stopped calling, I basically just waited for her to contact me because the girl was not picking up any of my hints to hang out and not generating any of her own even though she was getting very textual with me. Whatever, I told myself I would just back off and see what she did and that is exactly what I did.

We went a day without talking and then she texted me, "Thinking of you!" Really? I didn't even want to respond to that. It made me realize that when I first met her and started talking to her I was all about it. After her lack of effort I started slowly distancing myself just to see what happened and to also make sure I wasn't "That annoying guy". You know that guy I am talking about. That guy you give your number to and from that point forward he calls and texts as if he is your boyfriend and then doesnt take the hint when you stop answering his calls and messages...ya, that guy. So after not answering that text I get another one 10 minutes later and that one is just a sad face. This girl confuses the shit outta me.

Ok, so I responded and it was pointless banter, but still turned me away more. The girl is a nice girl and would still love to give her a shot but the kind of stuff that she is doing is just turning me off. We will see what happens but now instead of making the decision that I'm not going to call or text and wait for her to come to me I actually do feel that way.

I have too much going on in my life right now to spend it worrying about a girl who isn't a part of my life yet. Between 3 jobs, friends and family I try to stay out of any type of drama.

On another note, I have been super busy and will try to get more stuff up soon. I know, i know, i know.

Mason A Little Bit Confused?

I don't get it. I normally get chicks, I can normally pick a girl apart and find out what makes her tick, or any person for that matter. I read people, it's what I do. It is the salesman inside of me. Even my step sister says that she is scared to keep secrets from me because I can read people so well she always thinks I know. Of course there is an exception to every rule and in my case I'm sure there is several but this chick is one of them and it effing sucks. Let me back track and let you know what I am talking about.

If you have read Ask Mason you will know I am a big fan of and promote going slow in the beginning of the courting process. One of my favorite quotes is, "A relationship can only move as fast as the slowest person. Move too fast and you'll leave a great person behind." (Maybe it's one of my favorites because I wrote it...whatever) I know how to deal with girls, I know how to take things slow, I get the steps and process but this one has me stumped. Since the last post we have hung out a few times. It is ALWAYS with Cheese and his girlfriend and nothing has gone past our heated make out sessions. I'm not complaining about that, I enjoy the make out sessions, I don't need to rush into sex and can respect a girl that will wait.

This chick confuses the shit out of me and I don't get it. I have done this before but the signs are all back asswards. I met her uncle and as I am extending my hand to shake his hand he says, "Mason I assume?" then turns to one of his friends and says, "This is Mason, he is in the IT field." So what can we learn from this? This means she talks about me to her uncle and from my experience her uncle is a very important part of her life. Ok, so she likes me because she has already talked about me to him and then she introduces me which is a big step.

We text back and forth a lot and just recently she has been calling me Babe and Baby. I woke up to a text this morning that said, "BABBBBYYYY!!!" I fell asleep before I could get that last night. These are all good things I know. They mean she is into me, I get it but then come the misdirection. If she liked me then she would try to hang out with me right? Wrong. This girl does everything right when we are hanging out, does mostly everything right when we text and talk but the only thing missing is any drive whatsoever to hang out.

I don't like to play too many games so I went for the direct approach, "I would really like to see you tonight. What are you doing?" Which led to a conversation and she said she would call or text when she figured it out and then after that, nothing until I woke up with that text. This just leaves me confused which is weird because this doesn't usually happen to me. For now I am just going to back off. I know she likes me, I haven't moved too fast to ruin anything and if I back off now then I may be able to make something work. This is a really cool chick and I like her a little more than the other girls I have been hanging out with which I want to embrace but it's not easy.

My take on the situation, since I do give advice occasionally, is that there is another guy. Simple as that. There is another guy that she has known longer, has dated, i don't know what it is but another guy none the less. Which leaves me as that fun guy that she can have fun with occasionally and go on double dates with and get textual with. I hope that is not the case but the world may never know.

Right now I am not going to initiate any contact and just sit back and wait. I have laid down the groundwork and am waiting for her to start construction. It takes 2 and I can't always be pursuing.

We'll see what happens, as for now I am still going to have fun and take whatever comes my way. I am still single and have the potential for tons of fun stories :-)

The First Meeting

I know, these posts are becoming more sporadic but dammit I am trying.

2 weeks ago Cheese called me:

Cheese: Hey, I have a girl I want you to meet.
Mason: Go on.
Cheese: She lives here now but is from vegas. She works with my girlfriend and she wants to meet people in the area. I met her and she is way cute and I thought of you and I want to hook you up!
Mason: Ok, you know me. I should be down, when does this happen?
Cheese: Ummm, we are going to come over for drinks tonight so get ready.
Mason: Done.

I had 3 hours to get ready. I sat around watching tv for about 2 hours and 45 minutes then changed my shirt and made sure my hair looked good. Cheese, his girlfriend and the new girl showed up with beers and smiles. They also brought 3 wild cards with them, 3 more of my guy friends. This girl was actually really cute and I was kind of impressed with Cheese, he did well. Now it was my time to shine. We sat around and drank some beers and played Apples to Apples, it is actually a fun lil party game. Anyways, Cheese and I were on the patio during the night and had the following conversation:

Cheese: I told my chick I wanted to hook that girl up with you.
Mason: Sweet
Cheese: No, she wanted to hook her up with Chris or Bill but I said you. She said that they were really cute and that she would go for them. I mean I just know you and those guys can't talk. You are more of a talker and a lot more social. Those guys can get awkward.
Mason: Haha, ya I guess
Cheese: Ya, so you can't let me down.
Mason: Dude, I got your back. I'll impress your chick.

With that said, I knew what I had to do. I did what I knew and kept it cool. My inner monologue was calm and collective:

She is in my place, ignore her first and smile and have fun with my friends. Ok, that's easy. Ya, I see her talking over there with Cheese's girlfriend, she is looking at me, don't look, keep keeping the boys' attention. Ok, now to bring it together. I haven't really said much to her so I can't be overly flirty. I need to disqualify her so she thinks she has to earn my approval. Be sweet to Cheese's girlfriend and now tease the girl a little bit.

Mason: Uh oh, you're drinking kinda fast there. Slow down sweetie, I don't want to have to babysit you tonight and if you get drunk my couch isn't too comfortable.

Keep eye contact. Keep eye contact. Don't break eye contact. Smile. Good she smiled back. We are making progress, now go back to having fun with everyone. Bring up stories from back in the day of Cheese and I that are group appropriate. Good. Now from here it is smooth sailing.

Flirt more. Eye contact. Banter. Eye contact. Wow, this girl has really pretty eyes and has the puppy in a pet store look in her eyes. Good, enough flirting, I know she is hooked now sit back and it is all downhill. They should be leaving soon.

11 rolled around and Cheese said they were going to leave. The girl approached me:

Nina: Come outside real quick.

She grabbed my hand and led me to my patio. Once on the patio she grabbed me, pulled me in and we started making out. Wow, this girl is not a bad kisser We made out for the next 5 minutes or so until Cheese came out and said they were really leaving.

Mason: Ok, bye. You are more than welcome to stay here if you want. We can make you a bed on the couch and everything :-)

Her jaw dropped with a cute grin. She knew I was playing games but didn't know how serious I was. She was playing coy and ended up leaving with Cheese.

When she got back to his house she sent me a text:

"I should have stayed, come over here."

I sent a text back

"Not tonight sweetie, I am in bed and I have work tomorrow :-( Another night though. I will call you tomorrow. Good night, sweet dreams."

To be continued...

I Don't Need Full Time Drama For A Part Time Lover

Wow, so much has been happening and now it is 2009. Lets do a quick update.

Got a new job that I am apparently kickin ass at because management has told me, "Mason, you are kicking ass."

Moved into a new place and away from the stoner roommate. I now live with my step sister who is a couple years older and super fun. She isn't from the area so I get to show her around and help her meet friends and boys. She just got out of a 5 year relationship and has no idea how to date. She is lucky to be living with me. I decided.

For those of you who have been reading for a while you may remember Jayme? Ya so about that. The past couple months things have gone nowhere like I firmly predicted. She called me when she was drunk and would come over and spend the night. Occasionally other people would be sleeping at my place too and we would all go to breakfast. Well, all of us except Jayme because she would say something about how it was too early to eat or something of the sort.

A little bit ago while lying in bed with her I got a call from a girlfriend, Betty, that would refer to my favorite breakfast spot ever, Ted's Place in Laguna Niguel for those wondering, as the yummy place. I put said girlfriend on speaker phone and the following conversation occurred:

Betty: Mason! I wanna go to the yummy place
Mason: Ok, come over and I will take you
Betty: I can't, I don't have a ride!
Mason: That sucks for you.
Betty: Haha, I know! I love how every time we go you have some sloozie in your bed and we go have a great breakfast while she lays and rots in your bed and then you come back to take her home! HAHA
Mason: Umm, she is laying right next to me and you are on speaker phone
Betty: OH SHIT! I was just kidding, call me later, bye!

I hung up and told Jayme how big of a bitch Betty normally is but that's just her and I have known her way too long not to love her for it.

Later that day when I am out with my sister I get a text from Jayme, "I think it is fucked up how you didn't stick up for me this morning. I think you should delete my number and I will do the same."

WHAT!?!?! First of all I am the total wrong guy to play games with and second I don't need the drama. I don't need full time drama for a part time lover. I texted back, "Ok, whatever you say."

That was the last time I spoke with her. Messed up? Maybe but she has tried to pull stuff like that with me before when I have explained everything to her. I let her know that we were both having fun and that I didn't want a girlfriend and that there was no harm if we were both having fun. She texted me in hopes I would disagree and give her an explanation. I didn't need the drama.

Next up. I kind of met a new girl? As Dan and I discussed, it's time to clean out my pipeline and start prospecting new accounts and try to stay away from the residuals. I need to refresh the roster and give new stars a chance to shine.

More to come