Mason Stanley

The Catalyst

2011-07-06T00:26:00.000-07:00

I know I should have seen the signs in the beginning but, like most guys, I ignored them and was blinded by a girl that looked like she was straight out of a page of Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue.

If you don't know what I am talking about then read this and come back.

"Eeehhhh, it can't be that bad, I am the exception to the rule."
-I'm an idiot

Coworker broke up with her boyfriend that night and 2 nights later she was at my place for a movie. We talked about how we wouldn't tell anyone at work or make it awkward. The talk went well and we both agreed we didn't want to put our jobs in jeopardy. We stuck to the plan and at work we were coworkers and after work we were... well, we were enjoying the honeymoon stage of the relationship. We were inseparable.

She got off work before I did and would go to my place where my sister would let her in and by the time I got off work I was coming home to a clean room, made bed, hot dinner and great looking girl. It was amazing and I was super happy.

This lasted all of 3 months until one day it all came crashing down...

I was getting ready to get off work and I got a call from my best friend who had totaled his car a couple weeks prior. He asked me if I would mind going over to his place after work to take him to get a pack of smokes and dinner. I didn't have anything else to do so of course I told him I would without any hesitation. I picked him up and he told me how great of a friend I was to be doing this for him and he really appreciated it. I thought it was a little cheesy for him to say, after all, he lived a couple blocks from my office.

While at dinner he told me how much he appreciated me and how good of a friend I was. Now I definitely know there is something going on...

Friend: There is something I need to tell you
Mason: Yes...?
Friend: I am sorry for not telling you earlier and I feel bad that I didn't but I realized that you are my best friend and I want to see you happy.
Mason: What is it????
Friend: ----- hooked up with your girl
Mason: He did what???
Friend: He had sex with her... about 3 weeks ago. He told me about it 2 weeks ago and I promised him I wouldn't tell you but you are a better friend than him and I couldn't keep that a secret from you. I'm sorry
Mason: What?!?! This is a lot to take in right now. You are sure this happened? You have no doubt that this happened?? I don't want you messing with me here because I am about to do something and I need you to be sure
Friend: I am sure, it happened that one day that she was sent home early from work... They both said they feel bad about it and all they want to do is make it better but I thought that you had to know
Mason: I remember that day. Thank you, I will take care of this on my own.

I dropped off my friend and on my way home I called the coworker and told her to meet me there. I needed to do this face to face. I confronted her about it, and she lied about it, I called the guy and he made some excuse to evade the question. I told the coworker it was over and took back my key from her. She still denied anything ever happened and blamed everything on someone making up stories because they were jealous of us. I told her I needed to be alone and I was off.

I got back into my place where I walked into my phone and a 3 page long text message from the guy apologizing and telling me how much he regrets it. I forwarded the text to the coworker who finally, for the first time ever, admitted that something had happened and she had been lying about it the entire time. That was all I needed to hear. I ended it. Right at that moment with both of them. I made the decision that I don't need people who would do what they did to me in my life. I didn't try to repair what had been broken, I didn't accept apologies and I didn't look back at either one of them. I didn't need people like that in my life and blamed myself for not seeing it earlier. I got out when I found out and never looked back...

That was a catalyst...

Where To Start...

2011-06-22T23:53:00.000-07:00

Since I went missing a lot has happened. I stopped writing because I started getting really busy with work and didn't have time to dedicate to Mason. That has changed because now I promise I will start making time.

In April of 2009 I took a management position with the company I had been with for 6 months. It was a great promotion and it came with a lot of perks. One of which I didn't see coming... One of the girls that worked with me who I was very friendly with conveniently had a long term boyfriend. I was ok with it because I never assumed anything would escalate beyond our working relationship. I was oh so wrong...

This girl was one of those girls you see and just stare. She looked like a playboy bunny with a punk rock style. As she used to say, "I'm a double 0, double D and platinum blonde. I'm not worried about other girls" I should have stopped right there. I never thought anything like this and treated work as work. This girl started to get a little more friendly than normal and I had no problem with it. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a big flirt. I assumed she was too and left it at that. Her and I had planned to go out over the weekend and ended up settling on a Saturday night.

I was planning on having her come out with some friends but the friends I talked to couldn't come out so I still thought it would be fun between her and I and didn't call the plans off. She showed up and we had some drinks before we went out. She was in the bathroom with the door wide open looking in the mirror and I was behind her. She saw me in the mirror and then lifted up her shirt to show me the band-aids she had placed on her nipples because, "[She] didn't want to wear a bra." This set the mood for the rest of the night.

We went to a local watering hold for a drink. We got a table on the patio and I got us a couple drinks. We sat there and talked for a little bit and little naive me still didn't think anything of it.

This is where it gets interesting. This girl leans in to say something in my ear because it wasn't exactly quiet where we were sitting. Before s she could get her sentence out, I backed up.

Mason: You tried to kiss me!
Coworker: No I didn't!
Mason: Yes you did! You totally tried to kiss me and chickened out and went for the whisper instead!
Coworker: If I wanted to kiss you, I would have.
Mason: I don't believe you.
Coworker: Gimme a break! If I wanted to take you to my car and do you there I could.
Mason:Ok, lets go

(I immediately finished my drink and stood up)

Coworker: Really?
Mason: You said it, not me.

I did not and could not break eye contact.
She stood up and I extended my hand for her to grab.
She grabbed on to my hand and I paraded her right through the bar to the front door.

She received a phone call that she answered as we got into her car, she was in the drivers seat and I was in the passenger seat. I waited for her to finish her thought and while she was still on the phone I leaned over and we started making out...

One thing lead to another and about a half an hour later we found ourselves exhausted in a hot car with the windows so fogged up we couldn't see out. We layed there for a minute until she told me she had to get me home...

In front of my place we made out a little more and then she said it. "Thanks for tonight, I need to go break up with my boyfriend right now but I will call you later."

WHAT DID I DO?!?!?!

To be continued...

Guess Who's Back

2011-06-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

It has been a very long time since I have seen this page, let alone logged onto it. There has been so much that has happened since I have last seen this page and it will take some catching up for me to do but I am going to be all about it.

Over the past 2+ years I have had some heartbreak that turned out for the best. I lost some friends, gained some new ones, established myself, moved to a beach city, bought a brand new Cadillac, quit smoking, went on some dates and all the while I successfully remained single.

Now after a long absence, I am ready to explore the dating scene and report back my findings.

It is going to be interesting to be back. More updates about the missing 2 years to come soon...

Singles Awareness Day

2009-02-19T21:29:00.000-08:00

Another Singles Awareness day(Valentines day) has past and this one was actually not that bad. Lets get into a back story here before I go on about the Singles Awareness weekend.

New years I spent in town but that wasnt for lack of trying. My sister was going to Vegas to meet 3 of her girlfriends that were flying in from Canada. One of the friends that was meeting her there was Maggie. I wanted to see her but didnt want to intrude on my sister's girls' weekend so I decided I was going to hang back. A friend called me 2 weeks before new years and told me that he had a room booked in vegas and I should go with him for new years because it would be a great time. This is when the light bulb turned on in my head. I would be able to go to vegas with the boys and since I would be in the same city as Maggie I would be able to meet up with her and my sis for a lil during the weekend. It was going to be perfect!

I texted Maggie and let her know I may be coming to vegas. I got no response. I texted her again the weekend before and asked her if she wanted to meet up in vegas if I was out there. No response. I thought that was really weird so I asked my sis about it and then she dropped the bomb. "Maggie may be dating someone" Wow, ok I get it now. This isn't a big deal. She is allowed to date people, who am I to say she can't? I date people too. My sis said to me, "If you go to vegas we can all hang out just don't expect anything from Maggie cause of the guy she may be dating. He won't be there but you know as well as I do that she isn't like that. It will be fun though."

GGGGgrrrrr. That is when I got to thinking. From the moment I met Maggie there was a connection and a spark. We were just friends for a good hours before anything happened between us and I still think that 6 hours was filled with sparks. I couldn't go to vegas and not see her. This chick lives in a different country than me and its not every day that we end up in the same city. If I did go to vegas I would want to see her. On the other hand, being just friends with her in vegas would be hard too. I dont know what that is like to be just friends with her. The connection between us is strong and I know nothing else other than being completely head over heels in like with the girl. I didn't want to go to vegas and deal with awkward sexual tension because was dating someone so with that I decided not to go. There were other reasons for not going too but that one was right up there at the top of the list.

I never heard anything else of her dating this guy and hadn't talked to her till about a month ago when she texted me saying she was going to come visit and stay with my sis for valentines weekend. I had such mixed feelings about this. My inner dialogue was a mess.

Is she still dating someone? Should I ask? If she is and I ask and she says yes then does that mean I should make myself scarce for the weekend? Is she texting me to warn me that she will be there because she feel obligated since my sis is also my roommate? If she is here and she is dating someone but I dont know then is it really bad if I have a girl around? Are we going to hang out when she gets here? I know I'm not going to make a move out of respect but if she doesn't in the first couple nights then is it bad if I hang out with some other girls?

This was all I could think about and then I decided to not worry and see what happened.

She flew in on Thurs night and my sis picked her up and brought her home. When they got home I was already in bed. At 3am my door opened and she came in and said hi. She came on my bed and we talked for a minute but I totally forgot what it was about because I was half asleep.

The next day was friday and after work I decided to not worry about what she was doing and invited some friends over before we went out. My sister texted me and said her and Maggie wanted to hang out and to wait for them before we went out. This was a good sign. We all met at my place, had some drinks and then went to a club. We weren't in the club for more than 15 minutes before Maggie came up to me and gave me a big fat kiss and told me how much she missed me.

AWESOME!

This answered every single one of my questions and couldnt have made me happier. That night we were all over the place, dancing, holding hands, making out in a corner, its like we were high school kids. She ended up sleeping in my bed that night and for the rest of her trip.

My valentines day was spent with her and some good friends on sort of a triple date where we all just went to a local bar and had some drinks and a great time.

Maggie is an awesome girl and I like her a lot. My good friend Dan hung out with us a couple nights and saw us together. He said he has never seen me with another girl like the way I was with her and that means a lot because we have been good friends for a while and he knew me when I was with my ex.

Now she is back home and I am home and lovesick again. I am not strung up on her but it would be nice to have her around more often. I wonder how things would change if she was around more often or even lived around here. I guess I will never know so its back onto the market for me. It was fun with her for a weekend and it was like I was in a relationship again. Now she is in Canada and I am in Orange County on the prowl....Until she visits again.

Online Dating?

2009-02-04T23:13:00.000-08:00

GGGRRrrrr. My stepsister and I recently got a place together and now we are the best of roommates. She is from Canada and new to Orange County which is a huge difference. As a good big brother I took her out and introduced her to boys and gave her a look into the social scenes I am used to. She met some of my friends and flirted and what not and then she found out about a free dating website that one of her friends turned her onto. She said she didn't want to have to rely on me to meet people and not being from around here like at all, she didn't really know anyone.

She signed up for the site and started talking to boys and as her roommate and stepbrother of course I was interested. She let me read some messages and what not and I would critique her flirting and then it hit me! I am sitting here telling my sister how to flirt and online date but she has never seen me do it and that is a big no no. I decided to take it one step further and start a dating site profile and teach her first hand so she could see the other side of the firing lines.

When I first started it was all new to me and then I realized that I HATE INTERNET DATING.

My internet dating consisted of me looking at profiles an then not knowing what to write the girl and clicking onto the next one thinking that seeing a different girl would spark my creative side and get me to write something. NOT! I know all the tricks of it and what not and all the rules you are supposed to go by.

-Be creative
-Show your personality
-don't copy and paste the same message to many girls
-Read their profile
-Comment on their profile

I know! I know! I get it but lets look at what it really is.

I see my sister's inbox and understand what online dating is about when you are in your mid 20's. Guys look at girls' profiles and quickly skim for any hint of good looks. Once this happens they will shoot over a message that has maybe worked once before. "Hey cutie" "Hi, how are you", you get the idea. Something generic to see if the girl responds so they didnt spend time thinking of a message to write that will get denied.

Now the girl will receive such message and see it as a message that gets sent to everyone and will brush it off in a second but not before she checks out the guys pictures to make sure she isnt brushing off a looker. Once that is established then onto the next profile.

I wrote 1 person and then I stopped, I guess online dating is an art but why would you want to date someone who has perfected the art of online dating? Wouldn't you wanna date someone who hasn't? Someone who isn't meeting a new girl every week from the interweb?

So here is what I wrote that got no response and thus has put me back on the, "Update my profile and wait for someone to write me" side of online dating.

In the, "You should contact me if..." section she wrote:

you actually have something to say. and no, "you're cute" does not qualify. general note: i bore VERY easily.

you use proper punctuation and grammar. i'm judgemental, i can't help it.

you're not some hopeless dope head.

you have a very healthy sense of humor.

you aren't a flake or a douche bag. don't play dumb, you know who you are.

Now, I read this and wrote the following in the form of a message:

Subject: Ok, So I think I got this

Body:

I read your profile and was going to start with, "you're cute" but thanks for the warning about that. We can skip over punctuation and grammar thing cause firefox has spell check. Hopeless dope head? Lets just stick with hopeless. I don't know if people would describe my sense of humor as healthy but it is there and I haven't had any complaints in 23 years. Flake and douche bag? Definitely not me, I own no ed hardy or affliction clothing and that is a true story.

Clever right? I am still grinning from my message cause I thought it was oober clever but I guess not. Nope. Nothing. I got nothing. I followed the rules and the rules suck. Im going back to the real thing cause the online one isnt for me.

I'll let you know if my, "Stand back and wait" attitude has a better result.

Refreshing The Roster

2009-01-26T22:29:00.000-08:00

I know the last 2 posts have been about the same girl but don't get me wrong, I am not hung up on one girl :-) Yes, I would like to see where hanging out with her gets me but all the effort I have put in got me nowhere and I haven't ruined anything yet. All I can do is sit back and wait for her to come to me. It's not that I got my hopes high, when we were hanging out she would act as if she was my girlfriend. She would hold my hand, snuggle up next to me in a seat and ask me for kisses. Some girls who have done this in the past have just annoyed me but for some reason this girl didn't annoy me and I kind of liked it. This girl did everything right on paper except initiating a meeting.

Talking with Cheese this weekend he said that he thought she was super weird because she loved hanging out with him and his girlfriend and would always want them to call me over but hanging out with me on my own is different? WEIRD! I guess I just don't get it and instead of trying to talk to her and find out why I will just sit back. I have only known her about 2 months now but I am not going to be that creepy guy that wants to have a serious talk after some fun times. That is that.

Now, onto some other girls :-)

I was at a bar a couple weeks ago and walking through the bar I get my arm grabbed and I spin around to see who it is.

Christine: Stanley? Mason Stanley?
Mason: Yes?
Christine: OMG! Hi, come here, how are you? How is your brother?

The minute she asked about my brother I recognized her. Lets back track a little bit to that story:

I was at a friend's apartment one night about 4 years ago when I was on the balcony and saw 2 girls on a balcony across the way. When I say across the way, I mean I could only see 2 blondes and that is it, no faces or anything. The girls were far. I yelled to them and we yelled back and forth when I decided it would be fun to exchange numbers and we did. I called them and we stood on the balcony talking to each other across the way still not knowing anything about each other. We did the name game and all of a sudden she knew my brother. We talked later and then she added me on myspace and to my surprise she was actually really cute! We talked on myspace for a little bit but it never went anywhere. We never hung out or anything. Now that I think about it, we never hung out at all. Just myspace friends

That leads me to this night. I couldn't point where I knew her from until I found out her name. YES! That's it! The funny thing is that I had never met her in person until this night. The balcony night didn't count because we were so far away. I decided.

We talked for a little in the bar and then walked her friend to the car. After we walked the friend to the car on the way back into the bar we stopped outside the bar to talk. I don't know what it is but I was feeling spontaneous so I looked at her when she was in mid sentence, "You talk to much" and then I went in for the kiss and BAM! We were making out outside the bar. It was public but around the corner from the bar so not where everyone could see, maybe just the people leaving. It was nothing too hot and heavy, nothing too long and I made sure I was the one to stop it.

From there we went back inside and had another drink and ended up hopping in a cab together.

Mason: Where are we going?
Christine: We are going back to my place.
Mason: Where is that.
Christine :[city where she lives]
Mason: No way! That is way too far. That's at least a $75 cab ride. My place is closer, we are going there.
Christine: Ok, we can go there if you pay for the taxi.
Mason: Ok, sounds good.

We got back to my place and watched tv and ended up passing out in my bed together. There was no sex, just a little make out session and then some sleepy time. We texted the next day for a little bit:

Mason: You left your bra at my place, if you wanted to see me you could have called instead of leaving a bra
Christine: Ha! It's a present for you.
Mason: It's not my size sweetie, I guess I will just re-gift it.
Christine: You better not! What are you going to get me now?
Mason: Whoa, I can't even use your present, you have to get me a new one and then we'll talk about you.
Christine: Grrr, I want my present.
Mason: Ok, we will talk about and see how good you are ;-)

That was about all the texting until about 2 weeks after the incident she drunk dials me and I picked up but no one with me or her was sober enough to drive so we never had our late night hang out. Then just last night She called at around 10:30 or so and I was in bed and decided not to pick up the phone. I wonder what she wanted. Not late enough to be a booty call and too late to see if I wanted to hang out. I am just guessing she was already out. I guess I will never know. I am not needy enough to call her or text her to find out what it was about, we will just wait to this weekend to see what she is doing but as of now between 3 jobs I don't really get out during the weekdays.

The single life continues...

GSF

2009-01-25T22:21:00.000-08:00

Grrr, why can't dating me easy. Ok, so maybe that is asking too much but come on! Last post I talked about a girl, Nina, that I recently met and was kinda into but she was confusing the bejeesus outta me. Now it only gets better.

After that post I decided to take the back seat approach to this girl. I stopped texting, I stopped calling, I basically just waited for her to contact me because the girl was not picking up any of my hints to hang out and not generating any of her own even though she was getting very textual with me. Whatever, I told myself I would just back off and see what she did and that is exactly what I did.

We went a day without talking and then she texted me, "Thinking of you!" Really? I didn't even want to respond to that. It made me realize that when I first met her and started talking to her I was all about it. After her lack of effort I started slowly distancing myself just to see what happened and to also make sure I wasn't "That annoying guy". You know that guy I am talking about. That guy you give your number to and from that point forward he calls and texts as if he is your boyfriend and then doesnt take the hint when you stop answering his calls and messages...ya, that guy. So after not answering that text I get another one 10 minutes later and that one is just a sad face. This girl confuses the shit outta me.

Ok, so I responded and it was pointless banter, but still turned me away more. The girl is a nice girl and would still love to give her a shot but the kind of stuff that she is doing is just turning me off. We will see what happens but now instead of making the decision that I'm not going to call or text and wait for her to come to me I actually do feel that way.

I have too much going on in my life right now to spend it worrying about a girl who isn't a part of my life yet. Between 3 jobs, friends and family I try to stay out of any type of drama.

On another note, I have been super busy and will try to get more stuff up soon. I know, i know, i know.

Mason A Little Bit Confused?

2009-01-17T16:41:00.000-08:00

I don't get it. I normally get chicks, I can normally pick a girl apart and find out what makes her tick, or any person for that matter. I read people, it's what I do. It is the salesman inside of me. Even my step sister says that she is scared to keep secrets from me because I can read people so well she always thinks I know. Of course there is an exception to every rule and in my case I'm sure there is several but this chick is one of them and it effing sucks. Let me back track and let you know what I am talking about.

If you have read Ask Mason you will know I am a big fan of and promote going slow in the beginning of the courting process. One of my favorite quotes is, "A relationship can only move as fast as the slowest person. Move too fast and you'll leave a great person behind." (Maybe it's one of my favorites because I wrote it...whatever) I know how to deal with girls, I know how to take things slow, I get the steps and process but this one has me stumped. Since the last post we have hung out a few times. It is ALWAYS with Cheese and his girlfriend and nothing has gone past our heated make out sessions. I'm not complaining about that, I enjoy the make out sessions, I don't need to rush into sex and can respect a girl that will wait.

This chick confuses the shit out of me and I don't get it. I have done this before but the signs are all back asswards. I met her uncle and as I am extending my hand to shake his hand he says, "Mason I assume?" then turns to one of his friends and says, "This is Mason, he is in the IT field." So what can we learn from this? This means she talks about me to her uncle and from my experience her uncle is a very important part of her life. Ok, so she likes me because she has already talked about me to him and then she introduces me which is a big step.

We text back and forth a lot and just recently she has been calling me Babe and Baby. I woke up to a text this morning that said, "BABBBBYYYY!!!" I fell asleep before I could get that last night. These are all good things I know. They mean she is into me, I get it but then come the misdirection. If she liked me then she would try to hang out with me right? Wrong. This girl does everything right when we are hanging out, does mostly everything right when we text and talk but the only thing missing is any drive whatsoever to hang out.

I don't like to play too many games so I went for the direct approach, "I would really like to see you tonight. What are you doing?" Which led to a conversation and she said she would call or text when she figured it out and then after that, nothing until I woke up with that text. This just leaves me confused which is weird because this doesn't usually happen to me. For now I am just going to back off. I know she likes me, I haven't moved too fast to ruin anything and if I back off now then I may be able to make something work. This is a really cool chick and I like her a little more than the other girls I have been hanging out with which I want to embrace but it's not easy.

My take on the situation, since I do give advice occasionally, is that there is another guy. Simple as that. There is another guy that she has known longer, has dated, i don't know what it is but another guy none the less. Which leaves me as that fun guy that she can have fun with occasionally and go on double dates with and get textual with. I hope that is not the case but the world may never know.

Right now I am not going to initiate any contact and just sit back and wait. I have laid down the groundwork and am waiting for her to start construction. It takes 2 and I can't always be pursuing.

We'll see what happens, as for now I am still going to have fun and take whatever comes my way. I am still single and have the potential for tons of fun stories :-)

The First Meeting

2009-01-10T18:05:00.000-08:00

I know, these posts are becoming more sporadic but dammit I am trying.

2 weeks ago Cheese called me:

Cheese: Hey, I have a girl I want you to meet.
Mason: Go on.
Cheese: She lives here now but is from vegas. She works with my girlfriend and she wants to meet people in the area. I met her and she is way cute and I thought of you and I want to hook you up!
Mason: Ok, you know me. I should be down, when does this happen?
Cheese: Ummm, we are going to come over for drinks tonight so get ready.
Mason: Done.

I had 3 hours to get ready. I sat around watching tv for about 2 hours and 45 minutes then changed my shirt and made sure my hair looked good. Cheese, his girlfriend and the new girl showed up with beers and smiles. They also brought 3 wild cards with them, 3 more of my guy friends. This girl was actually really cute and I was kind of impressed with Cheese, he did well. Now it was my time to shine. We sat around and drank some beers and played Apples to Apples, it is actually a fun lil party game. Anyways, Cheese and I were on the patio during the night and had the following conversation:

Cheese: I told my chick I wanted to hook that girl up with you.
Mason: Sweet
Cheese: No, she wanted to hook her up with Chris or Bill but I said you. She said that they were really cute and that she would go for them. I mean I just know you and those guys can't talk. You are more of a talker and a lot more social. Those guys can get awkward.
Mason: Haha, ya I guess
Cheese: Ya, so you can't let me down.
Mason: Dude, I got your back. I'll impress your chick.

With that said, I knew what I had to do. I did what I knew and kept it cool. My inner monologue was calm and collective:

She is in my place, ignore her first and smile and have fun with my friends. Ok, that's easy. Ya, I see her talking over there with Cheese's girlfriend, she is looking at me, don't look, keep keeping the boys' attention. Ok, now to bring it together. I haven't really said much to her so I can't be overly flirty. I need to disqualify her so she thinks she has to earn my approval. Be sweet to Cheese's girlfriend and now tease the girl a little bit.

Mason: Uh oh, you're drinking kinda fast there. Slow down sweetie, I don't want to have to babysit you tonight and if you get drunk my couch isn't too comfortable.

Keep eye contact. Keep eye contact. Don't break eye contact. Smile. Good she smiled back. We are making progress, now go back to having fun with everyone. Bring up stories from back in the day of Cheese and I that are group appropriate. Good. Now from here it is smooth sailing.

Flirt more. Eye contact. Banter. Eye contact. Wow, this girl has really pretty eyes and has the puppy in a pet store look in her eyes. Good, enough flirting, I know she is hooked now sit back and it is all downhill. They should be leaving soon.

11 rolled around and Cheese said they were going to leave. The girl approached me:

Nina: Come outside real quick.

She grabbed my hand and led me to my patio. Once on the patio she grabbed me, pulled me in and we started making out. Wow, this girl is not a bad kisser We made out for the next 5 minutes or so until Cheese came out and said they were really leaving.

Mason: Ok, bye. You are more than welcome to stay here if you want. We can make you a bed on the couch and everything :-)

Her jaw dropped with a cute grin. She knew I was playing games but didn't know how serious I was. She was playing coy and ended up leaving with Cheese.

When she got back to his house she sent me a text:

"I should have stayed, come over here."

I sent a text back

"Not tonight sweetie, I am in bed and I have work tomorrow :-( Another night though. I will call you tomorrow. Good night, sweet dreams."

To be continued...

I Don't Need Full Time Drama For A Part Time Lover

2009-01-02T12:32:00.000-08:00

Wow, so much has been happening and now it is 2009. Lets do a quick update.

Got a new job that I am apparently kickin ass at because management has told me, "Mason, you are kicking ass."

Moved into a new place and away from the stoner roommate. I now live with my step sister who is a couple years older and super fun. She isn't from the area so I get to show her around and help her meet friends and boys. She just got out of a 5 year relationship and has no idea how to date. She is lucky to be living with me. I decided.

For those of you who have been reading for a while you may remember Jayme? Ya so about that. The past couple months things have gone nowhere like I firmly predicted. She called me when she was drunk and would come over and spend the night. Occasionally other people would be sleeping at my place too and we would all go to breakfast. Well, all of us except Jayme because she would say something about how it was too early to eat or something of the sort.

A little bit ago while lying in bed with her I got a call from a girlfriend, Betty, that would refer to my favorite breakfast spot ever, Ted's Place in Laguna Niguel for those wondering, as the yummy place. I put said girlfriend on speaker phone and the following conversation occurred:

Betty: Mason! I wanna go to the yummy place
Mason: Ok, come over and I will take you
Betty: I can't, I don't have a ride!
Mason: That sucks for you.
Betty: Haha, I know! I love how every time we go you have some sloozie in your bed and we go have a great breakfast while she lays and rots in your bed and then you come back to take her home! HAHA
Mason: Umm, she is laying right next to me and you are on speaker phone
Betty: OH SHIT! I was just kidding, call me later, bye!

I hung up and told Jayme how big of a bitch Betty normally is but that's just her and I have known her way too long not to love her for it.

Later that day when I am out with my sister I get a text from Jayme, "I think it is fucked up how you didn't stick up for me this morning. I think you should delete my number and I will do the same."

WHAT!?!?! First of all I am the total wrong guy to play games with and second I don't need the drama. I don't need full time drama for a part time lover. I texted back, "Ok, whatever you say."

That was the last time I spoke with her. Messed up? Maybe but she has tried to pull stuff like that with me before when I have explained everything to her. I let her know that we were both having fun and that I didn't want a girlfriend and that there was no harm if we were both having fun. She texted me in hopes I would disagree and give her an explanation. I didn't need the drama.

Next up. I kind of met a new girl? As Dan and I discussed, it's time to clean out my pipeline and start prospecting new accounts and try to stay away from the residuals. I need to refresh the roster and give new stars a chance to shine.

More to come

More From Cheese And Mason

2008-12-16T20:08:00.000-08:00

So I was out with the boys the other night reminiscing about old times when I remembered a story that I thought I forgot about but then realized I still practice the lessons I learned from the story.

Cheese and I were 18 years old. We went to a party at some random house on some random street in our random town. We walked in and it wasn't so much a party. It was about 15 people gathered around listening to music. Now I am not racist at all but chase and I are probably the whitest of white people we know and I am not talking skin color. We don't listen to rap, we don't have a swagger and we don't say, "Aight". We walked in this house that a friend invited us to and we were the only 2 white boys there. You can say we just felt a little out of place with everyone standing around listening to rap.

Cheese and I went to a couch and planted our white asses down for a bit and dug into the 18 pack of Bud Light we had gotten his older brother to buy for us. Within 5 minutes of us sitting there 2 girls approached us. One of the girls held back while the other did all the talking. I shit you not, this is what happened the minute the girl approached us:

Girl: What are you guys doing?
Mason: Umm, hanging out, drinking.
Girl: No, like right now, what are you going to do?
Cheese: I don't know. Hang out here? What are you saying?
Girl: Ok, lets go.
Mason: Go where, what are you talking about?
Girl: Lets just go. I don't know. Anywhere, lets just get away from here.

Cheese and I looked at each other puzzled and then gave the, "Why not?" nod to each other, picked up our beer and followed them out of the house.

Mason: So where are we going?
Girl: I don't know, hop in my car, we can figure it out.

Cheese and I hopped in her brand new Mercedes and we were off.

Girl: Where do you guys wanna go?
Mason: I have no idea, where can we go?
Girl: Lets go to my house
Cheese: Where do you live?
Girl: Laguna Beach
Cheese: Ok, drop us off at my car and we will follow you girls there. That way I have my car there too.
Girl: Ok.

This all happened before the other girl even said a word. This was really weird but Cheese and I were young and adventurous so who cares.

We followed the Benz to this girl's house in laguna beach that was just gorgeous. This girl was 16 years old and driving a brand new Mercedes, I expected nothing less than to see a house like what I saw.

We made our way into the house and went into the movie theatre this chick had in her house. We all sat around drinking the rest of the 18 pack that Cheese and I had and talked. Cheese was on the ground with the quiet girl and I was on the couch with the better looking aggressive girl.

In a drought of conversation when we were all watching tv, I looked down at Cheese on the ground with his girl. He was making out with her so I decided to follow suit. I leaned over and the aggressive girl and I started making out. This is when Cheese informed us that him and his girl were going to go for a walk. I knew where they were going and what they were going to do but I bid farewell as if I had no clue

The girl and I continued to make out...and make out...and make out. That's all we did for the entire hour and some odd minutes that Cheese was gone. We made out. I was young, it was fun, whatever. Cheese came back and we said our goodbye's to the girls, exchanged numbers and left. As we were leaving Laguna Beach, Cheese pulls over in the canyon, jumps out of his car, reaches in the back and grabs a used condom that he threw in the middle of the street. "I didn't wanna look for that when she was around. Are you ready to go?" Hahah, that's my boy.

My girl and I started texting back and forth and made plans to hang out again. I went to a casino with Cheese and won $800 when her and I were texting one time. I told her about it and thought it would be fun to take her out to dinner with my newly won fortune. This girl agreed to dinner and that was that.

I met her at Joe's crab shack in Newport Beach and we had a nice dinner. There was as much small talk as an 18 year old and 16 year old could have. After dinner she picked up her car from the valet and offered to drop me off at mine since I parked on the street. I obliged.

Girl: Which car is yours?
Mason: That van right there
Girl: Wait. That van right there? That van is yours?
Mason: That's the one.

She pulled up to my 1992 Oldsmobile Silhouette and dropped me off after we said our goodbyes.

I didn't realize it at the time because I was 18, young, and naive but that would be the last time I saw that gold digger.

A couple days later we were texting and I don't know what was said or how it was brought up but she said, "One day, I am going to buy a Bently in cash and I wanna date someone who will do the same." I asked her what she meant by that and she said, "I'm just saying, I don't think we should date, money means a lot to me." and that was that. That was the last time we talked. Don't get me wrong, I grew up in a privileged family and made a couple mistakes when I was 16-17 which led my father to buy me the van so I wouldn't be able to speed and race and do all the other stuff I used to get in trouble for.

It was at this point that I did not feel the need to justify myself to this chick or even try to qualify myself. I didn't want to date anyone that was going to have an attitude like that. Yes, I grew up a little on the well side but by all means my nose is not in the air and I don't care about how much money you make as long as I can have fun with you.

This girl was flawed at 16 and I can only think of what she has become considering she is 21+ right now and probably still the same gold digger she was. The girl grew up around money and it is completely sad that she had to know love through money. Money doesn't buy love or happiness, it just rents it for a while.

I stay away from any hint of a gold digger now and I recently remembered that this story had a lot to do with that. I avoid any questions as to what I drive, what I do for a living, how much money I make and all of that fun stuff until I actually feel that the girl is genuinely interested in those things because she is interested in me.

I have learned to adapt. I just recently met a model at a fashion show a couple weeks ago and her 2nd question to me was, "So, what do you do?". I had to respond:

Mason: Well you know when you go to a grocery store and you see the apples in the produce section?
Model: Ya Seeming completely uninterested
Mason: Well you know if you pick one of those up, it has a sticker on it right?
Model: Yes?
Mason: Ya, I put the stickers on the apples. That is what I do. I put the stickers on the apples before they go to the grocery store.

She realized it was a joke and after that had a little bit better of a conversation but I knew what she wanted to know when she asked what I did and I didn't want 1 part of it. Anyways, that's my rant I guess. I know I'm going to get shit for it but have at it.

I'm A Piece of Meat?

2008-12-13T16:33:00.000-08:00

There are a couple of things on my mind so lets get them off so I can start doing Saki bombs with the boys. First thing is that I officially hate twitter. It has no point and it seems like an annoying chore to update what I am doing and all that nonsense. If you want to know what I am doing you can call me like everyone else does. Thanks.

I got my haircut this week. I kind of dated the girl that cuts my hair so now I she does it for free at some fancy salon. (I dont know how fancy but I don't do salons so any salon is fancy to me) Said girl has been cutting my hair for a while now and I have been friends with her for a while now. She is married with 2 kids. The last time we dated was about 5 years ago and since then she has had another baby and gotten married. We are JUST friends and I think nothing more of her than that and I am happy for her that she found someone and is married and happy. All that aside, the following conversation took place while I was getting my haircut by her. This just reassures my theory that I am, "That Guy":

Friend: Don't tell anyone this but if I get divorced I am going to lose some weight and then call you.
Mason: What? You are getting divorced?
Friend: No! I said that if I do. Like if it ever does happen then I am going to lose some weight and call you. I don't wanna add anymore numbers and you are fun to hang out with
Mason: Oh, I get it. So that's all I am? Just a piece of meat? Hehe
Friend: No, you know what I mean. I just thought I would let you know just in case I ever got divorced.
Mason: Haahaha, good to know. Now I won't be confused when you all of a sudden start calling me to hang out.

REALLY!?!? Ya, kind of surprised me. She is a sweetheart and expressed that her marriage wasn't doing bad but I guess she just wanted to get that off of her chest? Weird.

I Need An Adventure

2008-12-06T11:40:00.000-08:00

Dan and I were emailing back and forth at work the other day. Err, from my work to his. We don't work together is what I am trying to say but we do email back and forth. Get it? Great lets continue. He is dating a girl right now, said girl just happens to freelance as a model. Dan and I went to one of her fashion shows the other night and hung out with her and the other models after. I met some nice brunette with an awesome smile but I think I was a wee bit too harsh on her seeing as I left before giving her my number. Whooops. Anyways, while in conversation with these girls the girl that Dan is dating says the following, "Girls, this is Mason, he has a cat." Thanks a lot, now I am the creepy cat guy. The she followed up with, "OMG! You girls have to come hang out with us this weekend. I just started hanging out with these boys and they are so much fun! Like every night is a night to remember. I always have a great time and there is no drama. You have to come! You have to!"

Wow, good save. So now Dan and I are planning on hanging out with these model types the upcoming weekend. This leads me to the email thing. He told me he didn't think the girls were going to come out for some unsaid reasons and then told me to call up some girls to bring out. My response is what made me chuckle:

I don't want to call the same girls this weekend. Lets go meet some new ones. C'mon man, I am getting sick of these girls we are hanging out with, they aren't fun. I want some fun girls.

I got it! Follow me here using the sales lingo we love to use. I want to start prospecting some new accounts. I want to refresh my pipeline. Even if we are not closing the accounts that we are going to open at least its a new account and we can always keep it in the pipe to close later right? I am getting sick of these accounts I have now that just provide the same residual income. I have drained them.

We can go to the bar, you can prospect accounts for me too, oh and your chick can too because the more the merrier and once you have an account that is ready to buy then just yell, "RECO!!" and I will come running to help you close the account? Good game plan.

Needless to say I thought I was clever with saying that and Dan thought it was funny too. I don't mean to toot my own horn but, "Beep beep".

Where did I get the title of this posting you ask? It is because I need an adventure. With all the stuff I have been doing lately, I have been too busy to do anything. Between switching jobs, trying to find a place and not being broke all at the same time things get hectic. Now I am almost settled and I need an adventure. Once I think of it I will let you know.

OH! I almost forgot. I am planning an ugly sweater christmas pub crawl this year. It is my 2nd annual and it is a lot easier for me to do for my friends than too buy all of them presents because if I did that I would be broke. It will consist of 5 bars in 6 hours in newport beach and there will be food provided at the first bar and a shot at the 4 next bars as well as a drink special at each bar as well. I am still organizing it but it will be awesome, just like last year. My goal is to not leave a sober person in the bunch. Its the holidays! Friends and family, and this is for my friends.

It Was That Kind Of Night

2008-12-04T19:53:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, I know. I suck at posting but we are going to deal with this together. There has been a lot going on lately with a change of job, looking for a new place to live, trying to figure out how to ace a job interview (Not that I don't know how but I have never been a camera guy before and interviewing to be a camera guy for Girls Gone Wild is just a little bit intimidating), and then trying to live my care free life all at once. How do I do it you ask? I hold off on the bloggy blog blog and charge it head on. So in lieu of me writing a new post and spending time doing that when I should be doing something else then here is a post I wrote a while ago from a blog that was never visited. If it offends you then just know that I was hung over when writing it and not happy. In retrospect it is kind of funny to read. So without further ~~adu~~ ~~adeau~~ ~~adoo~~, without me making you wait any longer here it is. I call it, "Miss Piggy and Itty Bitty Titties":

So last Friday night I thought it would be a good idea to go out drinking with some friends. We started drinking at my place and then went to a local bar. I was on a good one and I was getting kind of drunk.... why lie, I was wasted and it was awesome. Walking through the bar I saw an old friend of mine and stopped and said hi to her. She introduced me to her hefty friend. I am a nice person (sometimes) so I said hi to miss piggy, while saying hi, my friend went and ran off to danced. I was stuck talking to this oinker alone. I looked over my shoulder and of course my friends see me talking to her and start laughing. I ejected from the pointless conversation with Shamu once I got caught being a nice guy by not blowing off chubbs. She started walking out the door, I was walking to meet my friends who had just walked out that door so I was behind her. Andy looked behind him and saw her walking towards him and me following. He started speed walking super fast. He thought she was chasing him! I was walking to catch up to him. He did a full lap around the bar before I caught him. Andy gave me shit for talking to the great white and I tried to explain what happened. He blew me off and tried to tell everyone that I wanted to go big game hunting.

Later that night I am at the bar and I look over and I see Andy talking to the porpoise and looking at me. Right as I look over I see this whale of a girl stomping to my direction. I felt the vibrations of her stride through the floor. She locks me in, and makes eye contact:

Her: So, you want my number?
Mason: OMG! You're friends with Nancy right?
Her: Ya
Mason: OMG! I love her
Her: Ya, so do I. I was just talking to your friend, you should take my number
Mason: Oh that friend over there? I need to talk to him, I'll be right back

I ejected. I swear her next question was, "Wanna come back to my place and play find a fold and fuck it?". This was one forward sausage wallet.

I end up at closing outside talking to some blonde with her tits popping out of her shirt. I don't remember her name or what color her eyes were. There was THAT much boobs in my face. As I am talking to Boobs McGillicuddy out of the corner of my eye I see that wild elephant making a B line for me. "Oh shit! I was found." I try to over engage Miss Double D in a conversation so I look busy. This heffer runs up and shoves something in my pocket and then runs off. I avoided the convo with her but what did she shove in my pocket?? I wasn't about to pull it out in public so I finished up the conversation with Rack of Love and left the bar with my buddy.

Walking back to the car I reach in my pocket and pull out a piece of paper that wasn't there before. It was folded up. I open it up and read it. No joke here is what it said word for word:

"Hey Hottie!!
[phone number here]
Call me cutie!! :-) **Kisses**"

This is where I almost threw up. I showed the note to my buddy and then ripped it up and threw it on the ground where it belonged. We stopped by the gas station and I bought a sparks because I thought we were going to be drinking more at my place. Little did I know....

We got in the car and I opened my drink and started drinking. I put in between my legs and then I passed out.... errrr, I fell asleep in his car. This was at 2am.

At 2:45am I am nudged:

Layne: Dude wake up! We are here.
Mason: Where? We home?
Layne: Haha, lets go!

I look out the window and there is a big sign. "SHOWGIRLS!" Wow, I'm at a titty bar. He had driven 45 minutes when I was asleep to a titty bar in LA. Fuck, lets go do this. We walked in and took a seat. I was drunk and we weren't allowed to buy alcohol there. I sat there drunk, tired and thought I was going to see some naked girls. Apparently we went on National Geographic night where they decided to do a tour of the world with naked girls. Only one problem, they left out every country that has people remotely close to being white. This was full on ethnic night and I am sitting in the back wasted with Layne (my buddy).

He knew a waitress at this titty bar and she came sat with us for a while. I know exactly why she was a waitress. This girl was a 3.5 in the dark. (Not that I would normally rate a girl on solely her looks but for purposes of this story we are going to stick with a 3.5) This girl had freckles, buck teeth, and a spare tire that could fit a big rig. She saw us and came over to us. She hopped on Layne's lap and straddled him. Props to Layne for being able to put up with that kind of weight on his lap. I sat there quiet and wasted. I was waiting for a white person or I would have settled for a half way decent looking girl to get naked on stage. Nothing, I got nothing. This was the worst excuse for a titty bar I had ever seen.

We left and got in the car. I passed out.... errr, fell asleep for the ride home. I was woken up in front of my place and it was 5am. I was too tired to try to take a shower to wash dirty stripper smell off me. I passed out and tried to forget that ever happened.

5's Come And Go But Friends Are Always There To Walk In On It

2008-11-30T21:16:00.000-08:00

Right after my 21st, some friends and I went to vegas. I know I say I used to be an asshole. Well I still do some fucked up things but my friends and I still laugh at this story.

This story is still a blur to me but this is what happened to the best of my knowledge. It was another vegas trip with my boys and me. We had been out partying all night and it was 8 in the morning. We all struck out with any forms of hooking up so the 5 of us are at a craps table at our hotel. Everyone was shitfaced and yelling and having a great time.

It's my turn to shoot the dice so I place my bet and pick up the dice. A girl next to me who appears to be alone asks me what she should bet. I tell her to bet the pass line and wait for her to do so and then I roll. We won and my new friend is hooked. She is asking me what to bet and basically just following what I do. Now I would never purposely rate a girl on a scale from 1-10 but if I did then this girl would be a strong 5. She had no redeemable qualities. She was a 5'1" brunette that was just average looking. She didn't stand out but she wasn't hideous. What I'm trying to say is that I was wasted and I spent more time focusing on drinking than I did on finding a wife that night. Drunk me thinks to himself, "This 5 isn't looking too bad." Disclaimer: I am a dumbass

I play craps next to this 5 for a while longer and all of a sudden next thing I know I am making out with her at the craps table in front of everyone. I caught myself and backed up and looked at my friends and the dealers who are now laughing at me. I whisper in the girls ear, "We are going to my room." I pick up my chips, grab her hand and start to walk with her. The girl agrees but says she needs to do something first.

I walk this chick to some dude sitting at the blackjack table. I find out she came to vegas with 1 guy and she needs to tell him that she is going to go to my room with me. What an idiot. If you bring a girl to vegas you don't let her go to some guys hotel room alone with him, especially mine. I feel bad for that guy but oh well.

We walk to my room, walk in and lock the door and immediately start going at it. Clothes are flying everywhere. We are on my bed, we are on the other bed, we are in the chair, and on the floor. My friends would get so mad if they saw what we were doing to that room and on their beds. We end up back on my bed when there is a knock at my door. It was my 4 friends whom I had locked out so I was able to romp with this 5.

I was now in a dilemma. I had a naked girl and my friends knocking at the door. To answer the door or not? I did what any good friend would do, I threw this chick off of me and answered the door naked. My friends saw me and started laughing and charged in the room. They saw the girl on the bed with sheets covering her. They ran in and tried to pull the sheets off. Now picture this, this chick is naked fighting with 4 guys for a sheet that is covering her. It was a milestone in comedy. My friends backed up and now she is running around the room naked picking up her clothes that have been thrown all over the room. She finally found them and made eye contact with me. I motioned for the bathroom and me and her go in the bathroom.

We get in the bathroom and it's as if the action didn't stop and my friends weren't there. Just then there is a knock on the bathroom door. Cheese is pounding on the bathroom door screaming that he needs to pee. At this point, I did what any good friend would do. I let him in and brought this chick to the shower. This is where this reserved girl put her foot down. She gave me the "Are you serious?" look and then said, "I think I should be going." as she was putting her shirt back on.

With no hesitation I say, "Ok, have a good day, it was nice meeting you." and start to walk out of the bathroom with her as to walk her out of my room. Her jaw drops and she leaves my room. I never talked to her again. :-)

Chico May Be Fun

2008-11-23T16:38:00.000-08:00

I went to Chico a couple years ago. Just because.

Smalls: Mason, what are you doing this weekend?
Mason: No clue, what's up?
Smalls: Get your shit together, we are going to Chico
Mason: How far is that and where are we staying?
Smalls: It's like an 8 hour drive, I have 3 girlfriends that have a place there, we are staying with them.
Mason: HHHmmmm, sounds good to me, when do we leave?
Smalls: We leave on Friday morning
Mason: Sounds good, I'm in.

This conversation happened on a Tuesday. Smalls decided to call me because he knows I love being spontaneous. I could have received this call on Thursday night and I would have had the same response. Cheese also has some spontaneity left in him when he doesn't flake so later that day when he called me I brought up Chico.

Cheese: What's up man?
Mason: Nothing much, what are you doing this weekend?
Cheese: No clue, what are we doing?
Mason: Smalls and I are going to Chico to party for the weekend.
Cheese: Chico?
Mason: Ya, it's a college town like 8 and a half hours north of us. It's a big party school. We are going to stay with 3 girls that he knows.
Cheese: Fuck ya! I'm in. I want to go.
Mason: Ok, I'll let Smalls know you are coming.

That was all the planning us 3 needed.

Thursday night I was not packed yet but who cares, I was meeting Smalls at my place at 10:30Am, I had time to pack in the morning. I get a call from a friend.

Jim: What are you doing tonight?
Mason: I dunno, what's going on?
Jim: There is this new club opening up, lets go!
Mason: I go under 2 conditions, you drive and I get back to my place tonight. I have a friend picking me up early to go to Chico.
Jim: Done and done. I'll be over in a little bit to start drinking.

Jim comes over and we start the pregame. We are feeling pretty good and decide to head out to the club. This new club was one of the sorriest excuses for a club I have ever seen. They kept a line of 20 people at the door to make the place look like it had more than the 15 people inside. Whatever, it was still early, time to drink. I find the promoter that had invited us, skipped the line, the cover and walked right in.

We head to the bar and get drinks then head to the patio to feel out this bar with a tiny dance floor that someone was trying to pawn off as a club. The place is starting to fill up and I am starting to get a little bit tipsy.

Let me tell you something about Jim. He doesn't mind driving because when he drives and I drink then I talk to girls and he gets lucky by association. He has a habit of asking me if I'm ready to talk to girls and when I give him the OK then he will point out some girls, I will approach and then he will come in a little after me and then we will all have a great time. This night was no different.

Jim: You ready?
Mason: Ya, I'm ready.
Jim: Awesome, there are 2 blondes right there, go for it. I gotta pee
Mason: Ok, I'll be talking to them by the time you walk out of the bathroom.
Jim: Awesome.

Needless to say, Jim walked to the bathroom and I approached the 2 blondes and talked them up. Jim walked out of the bathroom and joined us as we talked. I don't really remember the conversation at this point because Jim was buying me drinks and shots and the more free they are, the faster I drink them. I do remember dancing with them and then losing interest. Disclaimer: I often lose interest in girls within the first 30 minutes of meeting them. This was no exception. After losing interest I left Jim to schmooze with his new friends and I went to explore.

I find a brunette on the dance floor that intrigues me. She is dressed differently and dancing wildly. I make eye contact and just like a cave man, grab her had and walk her outside. I start talking to her and she is interesting.........or I am drunk. I'll go with the latter of the 2. Either way, we talked and she invited me back to her place. I was too drunk to logically think that spending the night 35 minutes away from my place would be a good idea to help me meet Smalls in the morning at my house. I tell Jim to leave me for the night and I will be fine. The bar is closing and Jim leaves me. We wait for a taxi and then off to her place.

This girl lived in a small 1 bedroom apartment in Huntington Beach that was quite cozy. She had a pet snake and beads hanging from the ceiling. I now realized that she was quite the hippie. I thought of how I had never been with a real hippie before, as I sat there making conversation finishing my last beer of the night.

Finally, off to bed. We made out for what seemed like half an hour. I thought sex was going to come but there was nothing. Not an inkling, not a touch, not even an accidental rub. This chick's baseball stadium only had a first base. This was horrible. Needless to say I do what I do best, I fell asleep in the middle of this 7th grade hookup session.

I woke up the next morning with a wonderful hangover. Hangovers remind me that I did something right the night before. It takes me a second to realize where I am but when I do I also realize that I'm meeting Smalls at my place at 10:30. I grab my phone, it's 10:45 and I have 6 missed calls from Smalls. I wake up the hippie sleeping next to me and tell her I need the ride home that she promised me the night before. She wakes up and we are out.

We walk to the parking lot and she looks at me and tells me she parked at a friend's place and we have to walk to her car about a mile and a half away. This is just fucking awesome. I say whatever and we are off. The walk wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. We actually had a decent conversation. I don't know what we talked about but I remember thinking that the chick wasn't a moron which is huge in my book because I meet a lot of stupid chicks. We finally get to her car at 11:15 and I call Smalls and let him know I am on my way. I call Cheese and I get no answer from him...... 4 times. I think to myself, "Oh well, Cheese is flaking, whatever."

This chick couldn't just drive me home, she had to stop at her favorite bagel place and we had to get bagels for the ride. I get Smalls a chocolate chip muffin cause I feel bad he is waiting. Finally at around 11:50, we arrive at my place, I thank her for the ride and walk in where I am greeted by Smalls and my mother. Yes, I still lived with my mother at this point

I tell Smalls that I still need to pack and he gives me the "angry look". Disclaimer: I have never seen Smalls mad so the "angry look" is a big deal. In the 5 minutes it took me to pack Cheese calls my phone and tells me he just woke up and asks if we left yet. Wow, so being late for Smalls actually let us wait for Cheese. I let him know what is going on and we are at his place 10 minutes later.

We finally hit the road at around 12:30 and we are off to Chico!

The car ride wasn't anything to interesting, Smalls and I singing in the front seat with Cheese passed out in the back seat. We stopped at an In and Out to eat lunch and talk about how shitfaced we were going to get in Chico. We had big hopes.

We finally roll into Chico at around 9pm. We head straight for a liquor store and stock up on booze for the night. We got beer and Jaeger, enough to put a smile on my face. We head around the corner to the house we are staying at. We roll into a house and walk right into a full fledged pregame. We are greeted with beers and shots. I already love this place.

We shower up and start drinking with the Chicans (sp?). We drank a lot before we went out. We all start walking the streets in hopes of something to do. We pass a bar named Riley's and Cheese and I try to talk everyone into going in. We are with under 21 year old people so they can't get in and Smalls lets us know that he is going to stay with them and wants Cheese and I to go in Riley's and he will meet up with us later. This sounds ok to me. Cheese and I walk in, grab some beers and sit at a table. Riley's is very ok. Nothing special, no great looking chicks, just a bunch of people getting shitfaced. I'm not opposed to this but then again it's not my favorite bar. I tell Cheese I gotta pee and get up to try to find the little boys tinkle room.

I walk by the front door and find a bouncer that looks helpful.

Mason: Where is the bathroom?
Bouncer: You're too drunk, get out.
Mason: What?! I just wanna go pee, where is the bathroom?
Bouncer: Right this way.

As he opens the door and gives me some unneeded help walking out. I think to myself, "Did that really just happen? Ok, I know I have been drinking but I know I'm not shitfaced yet. Fuck! I gotta get back into see Cheese."

I go to the covered patio door and see Cheese through the glass door. I knock on the door and tell him to open it. He does and I walk back in and sit at our table. I tell him what had just happened. Cheese laughs at me and thinks its funny. Then out of the corner of my right eye, I see Mr. Tuff Guy Proud To Be Bouncer heading my way. I try to look away and this guy comes up behind me, literally picks me up and then throws me out of the bar while yelling, "Don't you ever come back here."

"What?? Did that really just happen?? What a fucked situation."

I call Cheese:

Mason: Hey man, I don't think I'm allowed in there again. Come out, lets go get shitfaced.
Cheese: Ok, ok, let me finish my beer.

He comes outside laughing at me and we are off to meet with smalls. We find him at a house of a friend. They are drinking and playing games and smoking pot. I start to drink.... a lot. I get completely tossed in the time I am there and then we are all on our way back to the place I am staying at. I walk in and go to the couch I am sleeping on. Now before I tell you the rest of this story, let me fill you in on what happened between Smalls and me 5 years prior to this.

Smalls had a party at his place one night and there was a lot of people there, myself included. He decided to get completely shitfaced and take vicodin. Smalls is not a big guy at all. He stands 5'7" and 120 pounds. With this said, Smalls passed out in his room with his shoes on at his own party. All the party guests decided it would be a good idea to draw on him. We marked all over his body, face, legs, arms, chest and hands. We even went in his sister's room and stole some panties and a bra and dressed him up and took pictures. This went on for about an hour until we realized there was only so much we could do to him.

I had invited 2 girls over earlier and they finally showed up after everyone was ending the night. I walk them upstairs to see Smalls passed out in women's underwear with writing all over him. This is when I had a moment of genius. I asked the girls to draw on his penis. The said no and I wouldn't let it die that quickly. I kept trying to get them to do it and they wouldn't. I went downstairs to grab them both drinks and when I came back the girl who did not know Smalls told me she had drawn on his penis. "Prove it!" I blurted out, and what do you know, she undid his pants and pulled out his johnson with a smiley face drawn on it. "That is fucking awesome! I love you!"

I thought nothing of this until I received a call from smalls the next day:

Smalls: What happened last night?
Mason: We got wasted.
Smalls: Ok dude, I get that people drew on me. I passed out, that happens but who drew on my penis??
Mason: HAHAHA, some chick! Fuck ya! Thats what you get for passing out.

Little did I know that he would not let me live this down and 5 years later he is still trying to get revenge.

As I lay by myself on this couch in the living room of a house in Chico, Smalls decides this is the perfect time to exact his revenge. Him and Cheese pull off my pants and start to draw on me and my penis. I remember none of this. There is video of me running around the house naked, pictures of me passed out flaunting my newly decorated penis, and Cheese and Smalls taking pictures with my penis. This also happened to be the house of the after party, so everyone who came saw me, naked, passed out, with a decorated penis, in the living room. I have no idea how many people saw me naked.

To this day I find it mind boggling that Smalls would wait 5 years to exact a revenge on me for having a girl draw on his penis. The kid has some patience.

Pictures? That's All You Wanted?

2008-11-15T13:11:00.000-08:00

Heyyooo!!! I'm sure you are dying to know what is going on and if you're not then press ctrl+F4. I am going to make this short and sweet because I am tired, cranky, and computers are not my friend right now.

Like I promised before, Vegas Pictures

I was an old school mobster. Can you tell?

Truth is I had the hat and threw it on at the last minute and thats what happened so back off. K, thanks.

Wonder Woman came with us to Vegas which is another story in its own.

Ahh, yess. My girls.

Ok, ok, ok, so there is only 2 pictures I posted. There are more but it's sunday, I have been stuck at a computer for hours doing geeky tech work for my father's company and I am tired.

Some of the highlights from our trip to sum up what a girl who went with us said, "You guys get away with way too much at this place, I'm surprised you haven't been kicked out numerous times before."

-A pit boss approached my buddy and said, "Excuse me, we just got a call from upstairs and you can't be flipping off the cameras."

-$1 shots of everclear at the mgm grand

-Making out with a virgin

-Taking 7th place in a poker tournament

-Hearing my friend hold the following conversation with a stranger at a poker table:

Mike: You called me with that hand!?!? You are a fucking idiot!

Pit Boss: Excuse me sir, you can't call him an idiot.

Mike: But he is an idiot!!!

***************

After not hearing from Mike all night, knowing he was completely wasted and had already got kicked out of a hotel and a bar I started calling jails in the morning to see if he had been arrested. While on the phone with Clark county jail system he walks through the doors of the room.

Mason: Where have you been?!?! I started calling jails looking for you.

in a completely nonchalant way he looks at me and says, "Oh, I was at the Stratosphere." and then continues to his bag where he begins to pack.

The trip was a success.

On another note, I have been sucking at getting these posts up, I have been super busy lately but blah blah blah. More to come, I need a nap.

Virgins and More

2008-11-04T21:40:00.000-08:00

I suck, I know but I have been busy and lots going on so lets try to get everything in and have some fun at the same time. Old stories will be coming later but I had a flashback of freshman year again... Highschool, not college.

As you probably don't know, I went to Las Vegas for Halloween which was damn right out of control like it should have been. We went to my friend's show in LA and then headed to Vegas. The show was completely amazing and even if he wasn't my friend then I still would have thought the same but would have bitched more about the $7 beers.

After the show we were in the car on the way to Vegas which is a 4 hour car ride. On the way I had to go wee wee and I didn't want to inconvenience anyone so I grabbed my 32 oz. soda popinski cup, turned around in the front seat as to be on my knees facing rear and let the stream go. The 2 friends in the back seat gave me a little stage fright but once freed, Willy did well. I talked Dan, who was driving, into getting into the right hand lane so I could through this cup of urine out the window because there was no one behind us. He agreed. Disclaimer:Don't ever try this I rolled down the window and gave the cup a toss. The cup hit the top of the window, the lid popped off and we were all sprayed with my urine. When I say we were sprayed, I am talking about my urine being on everyone in the car and it was completely disgusting. There was urine dripping off their faces, it was all over my pants, it was on the seats, on the windows, it was disgusting. We pulled over and I got yelled at and then I yelled back, bought everyone beer for the rest of the ride and then we were off.

Wow

We went to bed when we got there because the next night was halloween.

We decided to go to club Prive at planet hollywood because that was the club I got us on the list for and frankly, no one else had hook ups. We all dressed up and messed around at our hotel for a little before we head out. As one of the girls that came with us said, "We get away with way too much stuff at the casino/hotel and we would be kicked out of any other hotel for doing half the stuff we do there." Thank goodness for knowing all the dealers, bosses, and cocktail servers so we are able to always get free drinks without playing and mess around with no consequences.

After getting away with a lot we went to Prive which was completely packed. There was so many people there. We arrived at around 12 and then all split up. I was dancing with a blonde and then a brunette and then her and her. It was awesome. One of the highlights of the night was when I walked into the bathroom and was greeted by the bathroom attendant, "Welcome to the bathroom sir, enjoy your piss!" IT WAS AWESOME!! It was by far the best greeting I had ever gotten while walking into the bathroom. Then on the way out, "Thank you for pissing in my bathroom!!" Wow, that guy was good.

I was walking through the club and saw Dan alone so I grabbed him and we went off to find us some Vegas girls. It took us all of 2 minutes of walking before he was talking to one girl and I was getting invited to their VIP table with her friend. We sat and talked about nothing for a good 5 minutes before she asked if I wanted to dance. I thought that since she had given me a drink it was the least I could do. We got to the dance floor and by 'dance', she ment, "Will you come to the dance floor with me so we can make out a whole bunch." because that is all that happened.

After this makeout session on the dance floor that was less than average we went back to her table and started on more small talk.

Mason: So what hotel are you staying at out here?
Girl: OMG! No, I'm not like that. Wait, I just don't want you to think I am like that. I am a virgin. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Wow, look, you are a great looking guy, you should go get laid. I'm sure there are a bunch of girls here that will do you. You can have any one you want, go get laid, you are in vegas, I dont want to hold you back.

HAH! No wonder she was not a good kisser, it made sense. I laughed and told her how adorable she was and we made out a lil more until Dan came to me at 1:30am to tell me he was too drunk for life and needed me to escort him back to his room. SHOOOOT!!! I made sure he really wasnt ok and turns out the guy needs to learn how to hold his alcohol. I dismissed myself and took Dan back to the room where I went to bed alone, with no virgin. I guess that is kind of good right? Either way, Dan owes me now because the club wasn't even starting to get good.

Ahhh, bros before hos, no matter how inconvenient, I have to live by it because I know my friends would do the same. Damn you friends! Damn you!

Oh and on a completely unrelated note, I think I am going to throw some pictures up from the trip, we have some good ones and I know you are dying to see them.

Rosarito Night 2 and A Midget.

2008-10-29T09:14:00.000-07:00

My roommates and I started waking up the next morning. It was mid afternoon and I rolled over to see E looking at me. "Ahhh, Shit!" We spent that afternoon lying around sharing our experiences from the night before. Turns out all the other guys just got wasted and went to the room and passed out. It was at this moment that I knew that I was destined to be a really cool guy. All my friends were so interested in my story and all the details. I just thought it was a wild night and nothing out of the ordinary, I mean c'mon, who hasn't hooked up with two girls in one night? It happens to the best of us.

After a couple hours laying around we woke up and walked the streets of Rosarito. The streets look like a different world when you are sober during the day. Last time I saw the streets I was stumbling to the room drunk. We walked the streets and got some street tacos. I have no idea who I was hanging out with, guys that I knew from school who were also hungry and that's all I needed to know. The street tacos were amazing even though it was Mexico. We walked across the street to a "Pharmacia" as you would say in Mexico. We thought it would be a good idea to buy some alcohol and some somas. For those of you who don't know, soma is a prescribed muscle relaxer that doctors give to people with muscle pains. To kids it's known as the drunk pill because it makes you feel drunk when you take it. With our Somas and alcohol it was time to head back to the room and start drinking.

We drank and got ready because lets face it, there was no day life, it was all night life in Rosarito. We did the same talking about how drunk we were going to get and how many girls we were going to hook up with. This time I was able to talk shit on all my friends because I was the only one who actually pulled the trigger the night before. Disclaimer: We don't talk like this anymore and I don't need to talk shit anymore. We were 18 and young and horny. We headed out to the scheduled dinner a couple hours later already kind of tipsy.

Tonight our scheduled party destination was senor frogs. We ate fast because we knew we were going to start drinking a lot. Now this night is more of a blur than the night before. I remember all my friends and I running around this bar having a great time and then it happened. I looked to my right and there was a midget! A real life midget with bleach blonde hair shaking her booty up on the stage with her girlfriends. I turn to one of my friends and pointed and in a drunken slur I said, "Look! Watch this" I ran over to the stage and jumped up next to the midget. I got behind her and crouched as much as I could without sitting on my knees or falling over. She turned around and saw me attempting to dance with her. She looked me in the eyes and shook her finger at me as in a "No, no" fashion. I thought I was getting rejected but just as she was shaking her finger she brought her hand up and grabbed mine. She held my hand and guided me to a step on the stage. She then sat me down on this step and gave me a lap dance I will never forget! I was getting a lap dance from a midget, a real life 4' tall midget. THIS WAS AWESOME! I looked around and saw my friends watching me. This was even better because now I had proof, friends saw me so it really did happen when I tell the story later. Thumbs up were exchanged back and forth. I sat there and reveled in my awesomeness until she stopped, we hugged and I walked back to my friends. There were high fives and hand shakes, even from people I didn't know. Apparently a lot of guys had been trying to dance with the midget and no one succeeded until me. Disclaimer: I am awesome.

There was more drinking and dancing and a lot of blur. In the middle of all the dancing I find myself dancing on the stage with a blonde with a skirt on. I don't know if she is cute or not because I haven't seen her face yet. I am behind her grinding my crotch against her but because I am white and that is the only dance move I know. All of a sudden out of nowhere this unknown blonde turns around and starts making out with me. I guess I did something right. Go me! I pull back and see that she is not bad looking at all. We are dancing and making out for a while. During all this drunken sloppy dancing and making out, my hand slipped (you know where this is going) and whoops. I was dancing, making out, getting a stinky pinky on the dance floor with this blonde and I didn't even know her name. Disclaimer: Once again, 18, in mexico, drunk, horny. One thing leads to another and the club is letting out. We go back to my room which I am surprised to see is empty. AWESOME! We shut the lights out and start to mess around. In the middle of everything, and when I say middle I mean in the direct middle of the great time I was having we hear one of my roommates fumbling for the door. I stop doing "the rabbit" (that's my #1 move) and fall down on the bed next to her and we pretend like we are sleeping as my drunk bunk partner walks in. He goes in the bathroom and locks the door. I think this is the perfect time to start the momentum again. We start going and going and my roommate is still not out of the bathroom and right before old faithful is about to erupt, "BLLLLAAAAHHHHHHH" from the bathroom. Wow, what a way to kill a mood. I'm getting lucky and this guy is getting sick loud enough for our neighbors to hear. What did I do you ask? What do you think I did? I finished and then went to bed.

I woke up in the morning and she was gone. No clue what her name was or where she went until a roommate decided to take a shower later that day.

E: Hey Mason!
Mason: YO!
E: What was that girl's name u had here last night?
MSG: AHHH Shit! I forgot.
E: Jennifer?
Mason: Ya! That's it! How did you know??? You were puking while we were doing the horizontal mambo.
E: Cause she left her name and room number on our mirror in soap. Look you can see it with the steam.
Mason: No way! That is fucking awesome!

It was true, I walked in the bathroom and there it was, her name and room number. I grabbed a roommate and off we went. We knocked on the door and a girl answered. Jennifer was in the back and saw me and yelled for us to come in. We were in. We hung out with the girls for a lil and Jennifer gave me an awesome massage (I'm assuming it was her thanking me for being such a stallion. I don't mean to toot my own horn but, 'beep beep') After that we left and went back to our room. Nothing too exciting.

I wish I could tell you about night #3 but I hardly remember myself. If I do remember, you will be the first person I tell.

Drunk, 18, and Rosarito

2008-10-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

High school graduation was just around the corner and a friend walked up to me at school and told me about this senior trip that everyone was going on. Rosarito, Mexico for 3 days, all meals and hotel for $300. I was in at the sound of $300. I booked the trips with friends and after graduation we went. This is the story from what I remember.

We meet at our old high school in the morning and wait for the buses. We all sit there and talk about how shitfaced we are going to get and how many girls we are going to hook up with and all that great stuff that 18 year old boys talk about. The buses roll up at around 1030Am and we load up. We all get on the bus and are quieted down immediately. Our Chaperones introduced themselves and if there was anything that we needed or had any questions then they were the guys to see. They were two guys in their mid 20's. They were cool and seemed like they would be a good time even though they were figures of authority. After that little speech we were off.

The bus ride wasn't too eventful, just more talks of getting shitfaced and hooking up with girls. About an hour and a half after we left, we were crossing the border into Mexico. We all got out and they searched our bags while we sat there with thoughts of shots and girls dancing around in our heads. After boarding the bus again we started driving when out of nowhere, the chaperones stood up and said, "Listen up! We are in Mexico now! The Drinking age is 18, welcome to Mexico!" With that said, they walked the length of the bus with cases of Natural Ice and handed everyone beer. It was a great way to start the trip, warm cheap American beer. Yummm.

45 minutes after crossing the border we arrived at our hotel. It was on the beach and oober nice. I thought to myself, "Really? They are going to let over a hundred 18 year old kids in this hotel? What the fuck am I thinking about? I don't care, we are here, lets get shitfaced." That was the only moral dilemma I had the entire weekend. We were told our rooms weren't going to be ready until 2 so we all put our bags in a storage room and headed to the bar. We were all getting drunk when a voice came over the loud speaker, "Attention all SWAT members, the wet t-shirt contest will start in 15 minutes on the beach." Now the beach was a 2 minute walk from the hotel. It was down a couple stairs so of course we all went. Finally we were going to start a weekend of debauchery. I stood in a sea of dudes waiting for a couple not so good looking girls to come on stage and shake their flap jacks. I have seen wet t-shirt contests before but this one should not have even been considered a wet t-shirt contest. This was horrible! The shirts were too big and too thick, the girls were not good looking and too chubby, and there were only 3 girls. Of course, the not extremely ugly chick won because she was the only one that you could tell was a 100% female.

After the sorry excuse for a wet T-shirt contest we headed to our rooms that were now ready. I was sharing my room with 3 friends. I didn't care, I was going to make something happen no matter what. We took a nap and then got ready for the night. We were drinking in the room and getting ready all while talking about how drunk we were going to get and how many girls we were going to hook up with... So young and naive. We went to Papas and Beer for dinner because that is what was scheduled. We ate and drank and then the place filled up. We were doing shots and ordering drinks right after dinner. The most popular drinks that they serve in Mexico are: Sex on the beach, tequila sunrise, adios motherfucker and long island ice tea. They are all pre mixed and taste like shit. I know that now but at 18 I thought I was so cool for ordering those kind of drinks at a bar. Now I would not be caught dead drinking one of those. I was getting kinda drunk and then went onto the steps at Papas and Beer. At Papas and Beer they have a stage type thing with huge steps leading up to the top which is 2 stories high. When they have the dance party then everyone just dances up there. Sounds good to me. I found my group and walked up to a bunch of girls and started having my drunk fun.

One of my friends had a girl in his arm and kept saying, "'03 Kiss! '03 Kiss!" The girl looked at him and pushed away, looked at me and grabbed me and said, "That guy is creeping me out, take me away." Wow, that was easy, I felt bad for stealing a friend's girl but what can I do in a situation like that? I took her to the lower part of the steps and we started dancing. We danced for less than 5 minutes before we started making out. I didn't even know her name. Welcome to Mexico! We made out on the dance floor and then I grabbed her hand and led her upstairs to the second level. We sat on a bench in a corner that was semi private and started making out again. Things started getting hot and heavy and her top is coming off and as she is starting to undo my pants I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and security is there. I jump up and turn around. I glimpse back at the nameless girl and she is putting her boobies back in her shirt. I look at the security guard and start apologizing immediately. Then something weird happened. He looked at me and smiled and said, "VIP? VIP? VIP?" Wait, this guy is inviting me to the VIP room? Sounds good to me. I tell the girl that we are going to the VIP. She wants to bring her girlfriends. I ask the guard if she can and he says yes. I told him I'd be right back.

We head downstairs she grabs 5 of her girlfriends and on the way to her girlfriends I see one of my friends. I grab him and tell him to follow. He knows me well and asks no questions. We head back upstairs with her girlfriends and my friend. The VIP room is dark and empty, it must be super VIP because there is security there but we are the only people. Me and boobies sit in a dark corner of the room and start making out. Things get hot and heavy again and this time no one stops us. I am drunk and enjoying the moment. Next thing I know, I look around and my friend and her friends are gone then I look and see what's happening. She is giving me a BJ with 5 security guards watching. WHAT?!?! This was super creepy but I was wasted and just went with it. I get it now! They wanted me there so they could see a naked girl. Whatever, they got a lil more than that.

We finish up and head out, back down to the club, I walk to the bar and a security guard stops me, walks me to another bar on the other side of the club, tells the bartender something in spanish and for the rest of the night I got free drinks. Once again, I didn't know what was going on but I'll go along with free drinks.

After a few free drinks and stumbling around drunk I left the club alone and walked back to the hotel. I was drunkenly stumbling around the hotel on my way to my room when I saw a chaperone.

Mason: Hey man! What's going on? You'll never guess what happened in the club!
Chaperone: What? Dude, you're drunk, you need to find a girl.
(Just then a girl is walking by us alone)
Chaperone: Excuse me, do you need help finding your room?
Girl: Well I think I know where it is.
Chaperone: You need help. Here, take my friend, he is a master at this hotel. He will show you where your room is.
Girl: Ok, thanks.

I look at my chaperone and he winked at me and gave me a nudge towards the girl in the opposite way of my room. I was 18 and drunk in Mexico. You only live once. I walked with this girl to her room, and to my surprise she didn't know where her room was. We finally made it there and I walked her in. I don't remember much of the conversation on the way to the room but I remember telling her I was a virgin. I don't know why I told such a lie but it was entertaining to me. We didn't even turn on the lights, once inside her room we started making out and she throw me on the bed and started going to work on me. Wow, this was great. Then out of nowhere I hear, "Excuse me but can you go do that in the bathroom I can't sleep with that slurping noise." HAH! Her roommate was there in the room and we didn't even know. We took roommate's advice and moved it to the bathroom. That was it. She did her job, I said thank you and walked out. She got kind of mad about that but just as I thought, I'd never see her again so I really didn't care. I walked out with a smile on my face. I walked back to my room and on the way back so the chaperone hanging out in the hallways again. He asked what happened, I told him about that, and the club. He told me that he was proud of me and that everyone should be like that in Mexico. We slapped hands and then I went to my room to pass out in my bed which happened to be occupied by another guy.

Night #1 was complete. The rest to follow...

Things I Am Digging

2008-10-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

Its wednesday and therefore nothing exciting is happening. On the other hand, I decided to share some things I am digging right now as of this moment. Err, that moment cause it just past... are we on another moment yet? Lets broaden it up a bit. Things I am digging "recently" (No I will not clarify how recent "recently" is)

Haute Pocket- I have read this blog for a lil while now and highly recommend that you start reading it. This chick is witty and sarcastic and with that, obviously not from Southern California. (Why can't Southern California produce the girls like the rest of the country. I don't care if you spent your lunch tanning or if you got your nails done yesterday. Win my heart with some wit and sarcasm... Oh and food too, you should know how to cook.) I think I am going to go to the middle of the country to find me a girlfriend/wife and bring her back to Southern California. I love it here but this place would be a lot better without fake blondes.

The Foggy Monocle
- You ever have a conversation with a friend over instant messenger and then realize that your conversation would be completely hilarious to a third party. Ya, these guys post peoples' conversations. Most of it is guys getting drunk and making mistakes but that is entertaining as well.

The first man who found out we could drink milk- I can only imagine his rationality, "See that cow over there? I am going to go over to it and pull on those dangly things and drink whatever comes out." That was a brave, brave man.

Talking about my trip to vegas- I haven't been on one of my weekend getaways in a while and I am antsy to get out of this bubble commonly referred to as Orange County. Last time I was in vegas was over a month ago which is too long to be without the city which I am infatuated by. 1 of my girlfriends that is coming to Vegas has never been before so she calls me at least once a day telling me how many more days left until we leave. It is quite endearing.

The Spill Canvas- I don't know why but I just can't get enough of that band right now. Look them up and thank me later.

That's not all but that is all I am going to say for now. Thank You, Thank You. Oh and don't worry, another funny story of how big of an asshole I am is coming.

Updates and Upcomings

2008-10-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

Stuff may be starting to happen. I haven't talked much lately but lets go over some of the events of lately.

-I received an email and am going on an interview shortly which may lead to me traveling around the country for an extended period of time. ::Fingers crossed::

-I went to the 2008 Scream Awards and had a wonderful time. I went with some friends, one of whom was on one of the many reality shows that Orange County has to offer. That was a ton of fun and weird when people were coming up to me asking if it was ok if they take a picture with my friend. "Umm, ya she is nice, just go ask for a picture." I haven't used that line more in my life.

-We planned a trip to go to Las Vegas for Halloween. I booked 3 rooms and have a slew of friends coming. If you are going to be out there, or would like to escort me into some lavish VIP area at some plush club where I can receive free drinks and wonderful eye candy then you should know I love meeting new people and am always down to meet up for a drink.

-I will be in LA on the 30th of October at the House of Blues on Sunset in the Parish Room to see a friend play before we hop on the road for Las Vegas. If you are in the Los Angeles area you should go to the show because it will be a good time and I will be there. Peyyooooowwww!!!

-I haven't found much time to be an asshole recently but with all the upcoming stuff I'm sure I can scrounge up some good stories for you people. More reminiscing coming so stay posted and give some effin feedback!

3 Guys, 5 Days

2008-10-15T10:27:00.000-07:00

More from the archives...

A friend and I decided to go to a local Irish bar. We started drinking before we went and were already kind of drunk when we showed up. When we walked in we saw some other friends there that we knew. We pulled up a spot next to them at the bar. There were 4 of us at the bar drinking and having a great time. I was sitting in the last spot on the right and to the right of me was an empty seat. I didn't notice the seat get filled, as I was having a great time with my friends. I looked to my right and saw an attractive young lady sitting next to me drinking a Guinness.

Mason: I love you
Girl: What?
Mason: You're drinking a Guinness, that's fucking awesome.
Girl: Ummm, thanks.

I went back to talking with my friends. Now this night is pretty much a blur because of all the alcohol but what I do remember is the girl, Emma and I started talking more and eventually walked out front to share a cigarette. We talked and smoked and walked in and drank and talked, all the while my friends are still around. We ended up in the front of the bar talking as the bar was closing. We exchanged numbers with promises to hang out in the future and that was that.

I walk to my friend, Jim's, car to wait for him and 15 minutes later and he is still not there. I called him and he informed me that he had gone home with some girl and he would pay for my taxi. I was wasted and just wanted to get home, I called a taxi and went home.

The next morning my friend who ditched me called me and asked for me to pick him up from the girls house:

MSG: Yes?
Jim: Hey man
MSG: Whats up?
Jim: Ummm, I'm in Irvine at this girl's house, can you pick me up?
MSG: Are you fucking serious? If you are then I will, but under one condition.
Jim: What's that?
MSG: I need to meet this skanky whore who brought you home and made me take a taxi. When I pick you up, I want this sausage wallet to walk you down and meet me.
Jim: Ok, I'll text you directions.

(I was unaware that the girl was laying next to him and heard bits of the conversation)

I left my house to get Jim. I pulled up to the complex and it was a gated community so I called Jim from the front and told him to walk out with her. They both came walking out. It was at this point that I saw her and wondered where her orange face paint and white overalls were. She was a short oompa loompa type girl. I couldn't help but laugh out loud in front of her and Jim when I saw her. Jim turned red, put his head down, and continued to walk towards me with this girl. They both get to my car and the girl extends her hand.

Mary: Hi, I'm Mary, you called me a slut
Mason: Hi, I'm Mason and I call all girls sluts
Mary: What?
Mason: I call all girls sluts, its my thing. Most of the time I'm right. Did you have fun with my friend?
Mary: Ya, I guess
Mason: Great, because I took a taxi home last night thanks to you. I'm taking my friend home now, have a nice life

And we were off to breakfast that I was going to make Jim pay for to repay that taxi cab ride.

Mason: What the fuck dude! That chick was a troll!
Jim: Shut up, lets go eat
Mason: Did you even get her number?
Jim: No, I didn't know her name again until she told you
Mason: Ahhh, dude, I am like really grossed out right now. Lets go pick up a good looking girl and bring her to breakfast with us so you don't have to think about that ugly one from last night.
Jim: Lets not ever talk about her again, she was 30 and has kids that live with her
Mason: HAHAH! That's fucking awesome because she was the opposite of good looking
Jim: Lets go eat

Off to breakfast where I informed Jim about the girls number I had gotten the night before. Little did I know this phone number would help him out too...

***************************************

2 weeks later I had planned for Emma to come over after I had gotten off work on a Sat night. i got off work at 11 and met her and we were going to have some drinks and watch a movie. This was her idea which was shocking to me because "watch a movie" translates to "lets get tipsy and then have sex". This is exactly what happened. We got back to my place and started drinking and watching Boondock Saints. She had never heard of this movie and it is one of my all time favorite movies. We didn't get halfway through the movie before we started making out. We moved into my bedroom and the rest is history. We hooked up and then I don't remember much after that. (I was later informed by her that I fell asleep in the middle of a BJ. Whoops.) We had a fun night and I took her to breakfast the next morning and we had a good conversation over some awesome hash browns.

The next Thursday she came over again and we watched another movie and the same thing happened without the breakfast because yours truly had to rush her out in the morning because I had to work. After work I was drinking at home with some of my boys getting ready for the night. There was Cheese, Jim and Mike. During this drinking Emma called.

Emma: Hey what are you doing tonight?
Mason: Me and some friends are drinking at home right now and then we are going to go out to the Tavern
Emma: Oh really? That sounds fun, can I tag along or is it a boys thing?
Mason: Sure, come along, meet us at my place and we'll go after you get here.
Emma: One question, can I bring my mom too? She wants to come out and party tonight too.
Mason: Ummm, sure, sounds good to me, see you ladies in a little bit.
Emma: Ok, sounds good.

I told the boys who was coming over and they all had mixed opinions. When the females finally arrived I noticed her mother was much older than a "cool mom" who would party with her daughter. She was about 50 and looked it. Whatever, I hoped there was gunna be old guys at the bar to keep this cougar company.

We all drank at my place and then went out. We all had a great time at the tavern and Cheese and Emma got along well and Emma's mom was right up in the mix too. We were dancing and drinking and having a great time. We all went back to my place after the bar and drank a little bit more. This is the part where I passed out at around 3am alone in my bed with the door open.

I was woken up at 6am with wet towels on my face and Jim and Cheese drunk and laughing.

MSG: Get out, its 6 in the morning you shitheads. I want to sleep

They left my place and then I spoke with Jim the next day who had filled me in on what went on the night before after I had passed out. So here is the story:

I passed out. Emma thought she saw me tap Cheese on the shoulder at the Tavern and say, "She's all yours" referring to her. This didn't happen but the chick thought she saw it so she ended up fucking Cheese on my couch. Her mom, who told us about being 23 years happily married, was drunk and her and Jim ended up fucking all night in my shower (That's how they got all the wet towels). That is how I make that long story short. I found all that out the next day.

That next day we were planning on going to LA for a friend's party. Cheese thought it would be a good idea to invite Emma along as well. (Cheese was never one for thinking) We all went to the party and got shitfaced and Cheese took Emma back to his place. Now this was all completely weird.

The upcoming Tuesday Emma called and said she left something at my place and wanted to come over and get it. I let her and she came. I had a few people over and we were drinking some beer and hanging out. I got kind of drunk and so did Emma and she confessed her love to me. She said she was sorry for sleeping with Cheese and it was a mistake and she liked me so much more than him. I told her that none of that mattered and she had fucked my best friend and that's not a way to get on my good side. We ended the conversation and we all kept drinking. I went to bed and not more than 5 minutes after my head hit the pillow she came in my room and laid next to me and started feeling me up. I was kind of drunk and did not reciprocate but I layed there and tried to sleep until she was done and I passed out.

I woke up the next morning and kicked her out because I had to work. That day I found out at work that I had to hop on a flight to Indiana that night and would be back the next day. I spent the next day in Indiana and flew back home the next day and my roommate picked me up from the airport. When he picked me up he dropped some hints about Emma but I was not to sure about what was going on. I had to ask him straight out.

MSG: Did you fuck Emma last night when I was in Indiana?
RM: Ummmmm, she came over and we drank and went in the spa
MSG: OMG! You fucked her!
RM: Ok, ya well we were kind of drunk
MSG: You sick fuck! I hope you wore a rubber
RM: Well she kind of just hopped on me
MSG: You are gross!! I always knew you liked my leftovers.

I got on my phone, called Cheese and told him what had happened and Cheese and I were grossed out together. Not to my knowledge my roommate continued to call Emma after I completely stopped talking to her when I found out about him.

I still am trying to figure out who grosses me out more, the girl who got with 3 good friends within 5 days or the 3rd guy that hooked up with that girl after knowing his friends had just done her too.

Either way, we don't talk to Emma anymore. By "we" I mean Cheese and I. I still have a hunch that my roommate still does.

Aaahhh, the perils of being young.

Ahhh, Lets Remisce Some More..

2008-10-10T13:17:00.000-07:00

I went to vegas a while back for a big group trip. This is the story of one of the nights. Everyone decided to meet in our room so we had about 15 people in our room pregaming. I am a huge fan of the pregame and drink heavily before going out to drink more. I have almost perfected the art of the pregame and lets just say that I pregame harder than a lot of people party. After consuming almost a bottle of liquor to myself we could say I was feeling pretty good so at around 10:30 we head out to the taxis and we are off.

We decided to go to the Palms and see what kind of trouble we could get into.

We show up to the palms and head straight for club Rain.

Walking to the club I hear someone shout my name. I turn around and see it's a friend of mine that lives in vegas. He also happens to be the executive producer of a bikini supermodel tv show. I see him and run up to him to shake hands and greet this man who truly understands the beauty of a woman in a bikini. We make small talk for a little bit and he is going to Rain with the director and producers of his show. He tells me to come have a drink with him when we are inside. This sounds wonderful to me, I love free alcohol.

We are outside the club with 15 people, I shout to the VIP host who approaches me. I tell him my name, he checks the list and lets me right in. No line, no cover, no tits, I don't know how I do it sometimes. I get in the club and head for the VIP bar upstairs. I buy a drink and turn around and see 2 females that are searching for guys to buy them drinks. Call it a sixth sense but I can tell when girls are out for a good time or out for free drinks. These girls were out for drinks. I decide to have some fun.

I start talking with the girls and they weren't too good looking (7's at best, and that is if I were to actually rate women...). I'm in vegas now so of course I spread lie after lie after lie. I tell them I'm a musician and that I just signed a record deal and I was there with my manager. They ate it up. This is how I entertain myself, I see how gullible these girls can be and how far I can take it, these girls were too easy. I leave them with my friends and go downstairs to have a drink with my bikini tv show producing friend.

I find my friend at the table with 3 guys (I'm guessing the director and producers from what he told me earlier) and 6 girls. He informs me that the girls are either locals or in town but all have done modeling for him. He pours me a drink and I have a seat with them and relax.
Five minutes after the first drink my friend gets up and turns to me and says, "I'm leaving now, we are going to call it an early night but these girls are still going to stay out and there is a bottle of grey goose left that we have already paid for that you can have. I'm going to tell security that I'm giving the table to you. Enjoy."

So now, I am not with any of the 15 people I came with, I am sitting on a VIP table in the front of the club on a stage with what is now my own bottle of grey goose with a few bikini models. People were literally walking by and asking security guards who I was. This is when I see the 2 girls from upstairs walk up to the table with a friend of mine. Since I now own the table that someone else paid for, I instructed security to let the three up. The shorter, better looking girl immediately straddles me on the couch when she walks up. Security is quick to come over and tell her there will be none of that. This was turning out to be a great night, but I would soon realize otherwise.

Sitting on the couch, I look over and see my friend getting escorted out by security. I asked the guy who escorted him out what he did. The response was, "We caught your friend getting a stinky pinky on the dance floor." HAH! My friend gets kicked out for sticking his finger in a willing girl's vagina on the dance floor.

The next part of the night is kind of a blur, I remember walking around the club with one of the girls from my table and then walking back to the table, this happened numerous times and I still do not know why. After the bottle was finished I looked around and there is me and one girl at my table. Where did all the other girls go? I was confused, oh so confused. I say hi to my friends and decide its time to call it a night at around 3:30am.

The one girl that was left at my table is by no means good looking. She was a strong 5.5. She followed me to say goodbye to my friends and then walked out with me. I thought she was being nice and just following me to get to the taxi stand. We get to the taxi stand and I hop in a taxi and she hops in right behind me. I now see what is going on. I want to go back to my room, alone. She wants to go back to my room to see if she can get some man mustard out of me. I have a strong feeling this is not going to happen. We get back to my hotel and she gets out with me. I don't want her following me to my room and I know she is not staying at my hotel. She follows me in the casino and I walk directly to the craps table. I proceed to shoot some dice.

I ended up playing craps for an hour and a half before this girl finally took a hint and left. The minute it was clear, I grabbed my money and went up to my room alone. Trust me, being alone that night was a lot better than what she had to offer. I'm not an asshole, I just know what I want want and in knowing that, I know exactly what I don't want. What I didn't want was.... well whatever that girls name was, that's what I didn't want.

The moral of the story is, I will play craps for an hour and a half when I am tired and drunk to get rid of a girl that wants to do me. Thats how I let girls down easy. Thats why I'm a nice guy.

The Vegas DUFF

2008-10-07T10:05:00.000-07:00

Another one from the archives. Enjoy...

I went to Vegas with 2 girls. We will call them Amy and Kerri. When we got there on Thursday night around midnight we thought it was a great idea to start drinking and go out. The chicks started to take time getting ready while I went downstairs and hit the poker tables. At around 1am the girls come to get me with 2 guys they knew from back home that happened to be in town. Introductions happen and we hop in a cab and off to Hard Rock to go to the bar. We get to the bar and its the deadest sausage fest I have ever seen. It looks like cocktail hour in a mortgage office. I stand at the front of the bar with my party of 5 and scan the bar. 3 girls, that's all I can see from where I am. I turn around to the 2 girls and 2 guys, "There are 3 girls over there, gimme a lil, I'll call you over when it's ok to come in." The guys looked at me. I say again, "It's creepy if all of us go at once, I am going to go over there and get these girls friendly and warmed up and then invite you guys over. Just stay here until I say it's ok to come over."

One of the guys that is with us looks at me and then tells Amy, "Wow, this kid has some fucking confidence."

I look at him with a smile, "Watch this" and I'm off to talk to the only 3 girls in the bar.

It's a circle bar and the girls were at the opposite end so I started walking the circle. I'm just barely past them when I make eye contact out of the corner of my eye with the DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend: Usually brought along to scare off guys, be the sober driver and hold the purses) of the 3 girls. I know as much as anyone about how protective girls will get if you try to go in and isolate 1 of them when they are talking to their friends. With that said I made eye contact with the DUFF, took a step back and approached. Upon approaching I see that these girls look to be in their early 30's and are already talking with 2 guys that look to be around 40 or 45 year old business types. The 3 girls are the DUFF, Blonde and Brunette. I think to myself, "This is going to be fun, time to blow these old guys out."

I walked up to the DUFF and the conversation went as follows:

Mason: Hey, I need to ask you a question
DUFF: Yes?
Mason: No no no, all of you. Your friends to, tap them, I wanna ask you girls a question.
(The other 2 girls give me eye contact and I look and smile)
Mason: Hey girls, I need to ask you a question. Do I look like a drug dealer?
Blonde: Not really
DUFF: I can see it
Brunette: No way
Mason: That's really weird cause I was at a casino earlier and I could totally tell these girls were underage and they came up to me and started like touching my arm and trying to flirt with me and then they asked me if I could sell them some ecstasy.

(They all start laughing)

Blonde: OMG! That is funny.
Mason: Ya i know right? I mean only in Vegas would something like that happen.
Blonde: Well we are locals so we are used to stuff like that happening.

(at this point, i step right in front of the girls, my back to the guys and against the bar. I have the attention of all 3 girls)

Mason: Really? I thought locals normally stay away from places like this. Why did you girls come out on this super exciting Thursday night?

(The blonde and the brunette look at each other)

Mason: OMG! You girls are totally best friends aren't you? (Pointing to blonde and brunette)
Blonde & Brunette: Ya! Totally
Mason: I can tell cause you girls keep looking at each other before answering what I say. Only best girlfriends do that. Guys can't get away with that, if I looked at my guy friends before we answered questions it would look totally gay.

(They start giggling, at this point I am not ignoring the DUFF but lets just say that she is on the outskirts of the conversation and finds sorrow in her drink. Now its time for me to have some fun.)

Mason: Weird question. What were your parents going to name you if you came out a boy?
Blonde: I dont know they never told me
Brunette: Charlie
Mason: Aww, you would have made an adorable Charlie! If I was born a chick, my parents would have named me Christina. I thought that was super weird.
Blonde: I could totally see you with long hair being a Christina!
Mason: Ok, lets not talk about that haha. If you girls were strippers then what would your stripper names be?

(I cant remember what they said here but they made up some story about middle names and streets and pet names to find out their stripper name)

Mason: Mine would be Rod
Girls: Rod?
Mason: Ya watch this. I'm going to walk by and you girls grab me and ask me my name.
Girls: OK!

I backed up and took a couple steps as I start to walk by them the blonde grabs me and says:

Blonde: Hey! What's your name?

I go right between the 2 girls and put a hand behind each of their heads, tightly grab the lower part of their hair, pull their hair which pulls their heads back and in the creepiest, sleaziest voice I can do I say:

Mason: My name is ROD.

The girls start giggling. I looked at the blonde, shake my empty beer and put it on the the bar. The girls are still laughing when the blonde says:

Blonde:What are you drinking? Bud Light? (Calls the bartender) Bud Light for him please (as she points to me and then looks at me) When you pull my hair next time you need to be more firm with it and do it harder.
Mason: Oh there will be a next time. ( I turn to her friend) I love this girl, she is going to be my new girlfriend, is that OK with you?
Brunette: That's fine with me but now I don't have a boyfriend
Mason: No problem sweetheart, I got your back.

I wave over the 2 guys I came with at the other end of the bar and the girls I came with are nowhere to be found.

Mason: Now I'm going to introduce you to a couple of my guy friends, they are nice guys so don't creep them out too much.
Brunette: Hahaha, omg you are too much, I like you.
Mason: Its a good thing you like me because now you can be the maid of honor at our wedding.
Blonde: OMG! That is soo true

The boys came over and we all talked while the blonde continued to buy me drinks. We were talking about all going back to my room to "raid the mini bar" (my room had no mini bar) and then it happened.

Its 3:45am and I look over and this happened in slow motion. The DUFF slowly starts leaning towards the Blonde. I think she is going in for a secret but then I see it. Her eyes slowly start closing and her head goes onto the Blonde's lap. She just passed out on her lap in the middle of the bar then in a drunk slur of what I could only guess to be words I make out, "Take me home, lets go now, take me home"

The blonde looks at me with the, "I wanna F*ck you but I have this girl with me" look. She looks at the DUFF and starts making sure she is serious.

Blonde: I have to take my drunk friend home. Take my number, I want to hang out tomorrow night.

I took her number, we said our goodbyes. The moral of the story is that, even on my game, the DUFF does her job. I wasn't going to call the blonde the next night because that takes all the fun out of meeting a new girl and I love the thrill of a chase.

I met up with the girls I had come with and then went back to my hotel to play poker and pass out. Thank you designated ugly fat friend, you do your job again.

For Your Listening Pleasure

2008-10-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

One of my friends is starting to record music and this is the first thing that has been recorded so far. I am critical when it comes to him and music considering I taught him how to play guitar but I actually really like this. Take a listen!!!

Lets Reminisce About Havasu

2008-10-02T10:53:00.000-07:00

Day 1:

Ahhh, Lake Havasu, Arizona. There is always so much to say and do in a wonderful environment full of alcohol, sun, and blatant sexuality. After a 4 hour drive, my friend Cheese, his mother, father, brother and I arrived in Lake Havasu and immediately took a trip to the grocery store to stock up on the Havasu essentials. Cheese and I entered the market with a mission. Upon stepping foot in this wonderful store we were like heat seeking missiles looking for a target to destroy. In this case the target was the alcohol and lots of it. After the 4 hour car ride sitting in the middle of 2 guys with no piss break the sight of the alcohol isle almost brought me to tears. The wonderful colors on the boxes of beer and the shades of brown in the whiskey bottles was enough for me to appreciate such a long car ride. I had found my happy place.

We proceeded to load our cart like zombies. There was no talking or consulting about quantity or type of alcohol. We were in the zone, find the alcohol, pick it up, put it in the cart and repeat. After we had loaded our cart we took a step back and surveyed our work. The cart was full with three 30 packs of Bud, 1 handle of Jack, 1 handle of Southern Comfort, 1 handle of vodka and 1 handle of Bacardi. We made eye contact and then without words gave each other a nod of approval as if to say that this cart would be enough alcohol for two amorous 21 year old boys for four days of drinking and bad decision making in a place that is separated from the civilized world. With that we were off to drop the cart off with his parents and wait outside so we would not have to pay for our entry level course in alcoholism. In turn we agreed that if his parents bought the alcohol then we were able to blame any acts of inebriation on their frivolous purchase on the first day of our trip. This would turn out to be the best decision of the entire trip.

After getting back to the house that Cheese’s parents had rented we proceeded to start drinking. We shut off our cell phones and dug into the beer like it was a Cracker Jack box and consuming all the beer would somehow lead to a prize inside the box. About 2/3 into the first 30 pack we decided to pull out some chips and cards and play some poker outside. We drank and played poker for the next few hours as the parents started winding down for bed. After taking $40 from Cheese I decided it would be a good idea to go to sleep to save up energy for the day at the sand bar that was to follow. We crawled into our bunk beds and passed out for the night without anything eventful happening.

Day 2, Part 1:

“Good morning boys! Time to get up! Breakfast is bagels and bloody mary’s in the kitchen.” Cheese’s mother always had a knack for waking up and starting the debauchery as early as the sun would let her. I rolled over and caught a glimpse of the clock, 9:00am, awesome time to drink. Normally I wait for morning wood to settle down before hopping out of bed but not here, not now. I was in Havasu and I was going to get as much done as possible. I got out of bed and put on my board shorts and headed into the kitchen morning wood and all.

To my surprise there had been new arrivals over night when I had been in bed. Cheese’s two cousins and his parents friends (Kris and Mike) were all enjoying this breakfast fit for a king when I walked in. All eyes glanced at me and then shot down to my board shorts.

“Good morning!” I said as happy and cheerful as I was. I was about to drink, this was no time to start to get embarrassed. I looked down at my now depleting morning wood and then back at the kitchen crew. “You think I’m gunna let a little morning wood stop me from coming in here to hang out with you people? I’m ready for my bagel and bloody mary!”

This was enough of an explanation for the bagel eaters as they all went back to eating and I made my bagel and had Cheese’s mom make my bloody mary. Normally I would make my own drink but let me tell you something about Cheese’s mother. She has been drinking since before I was born and knows that magical combination of alcohol and mixers to make your drink strong enough to have you knocked out by the end of the night and delicious enough so you don’t care.

After 3 bloody mary's it was time to load up the trucks and head off to the sand bar. We stocked the trucks with coolers of beer, bottles of liquor and sandwiches with the crust cut off that Cheese’s mother had made before she so gallantly woke us up. We stopped by the storage unit and picked up the boat and it was off to launch it into the lake.

We were at the lake and launching by 11:00am. We hopped in the boat and started drinking. Cheese and I started matching beer bongs and shots which I lost count of after number two. When drinking I don’t like to count how many drinks I have because it just lets you know how many you are behind. We were feeling pretty good as we rode in the back of the boat with Cheese’s dad driving to the sand bar. Cheese’s father was blasting “Fuck the Pain Away” by peaches all while rubbing his nipples. He was putting on a show for all passer bys that that would pay attention to us and Cheese’s dad’s poor taste in music. We didn’t care; we were drinking in the sun and knew that a plethora of half naked girls awaited us at the infamous sand bar.

We pulled up to the sand bar and found a welcoming place to drop anchor just a stone’s throw away from the central party location. We parked the boat, made some drinks and hopped off the boat to explore what the sand bar had to offer. Once getting into the water I looked to my left to see a guy sitting on the back of his boat. This is a normal occurrence at the sand bar but I haven’t finished with this one yet. This guy was sitting on the back of his boat while a female was standing in the water in front of him bobbing on his knob like there was a dick sucking competition and she was teaching technique to take first place. This was done so nonchalantly that no one seemed to notice what was going on. After seeing this blatant public display of foreplay I knew the sand bar was going to be a great place to make some bad decisions.

Cheese and I started walking the sand bar, beers in hand, observing the environment. We walked up to a group of people crowded around a boat that was blasting some loud rap music. Upon closer inspection walking up to the boat we saw what the commotion was. There were 2 blonde girls in thongs and pasties. For those of you who don’t know what pasties are then let me explain. Pasties are basically colored pieces of tape in the shape of a heart or star or whatever you decide on for that day. You then take these thin adhesive patches and place then over a girl’s nipples. Girls walk around the sand bar in these pasties as if they were t-shirts. This was my Disneyland now all I needed to do was to find the ride that I wanted to go on.

These 2 girls in thongs and pasties were dancing with each other on top of the boat. By dancing I mean grinding their pink tacos on every part of each other’s body. This is what drew the crowd. This is what so many people were interested in. 2 girls dancing like that isn’t a new thing for me to see. I was about to walk away when I saw the real reason everyone was watching these girls. What looked like the older of the 2 girls laid down on her back and the younger girl positioned herself in between the older one’s legs. I know what you’re thinking right now and I was thinking the same thing. “This can’t be happening, this is probably just another slutty dance move” Nope, I was wrong, with her right index finger she moved the thong out of the way and proceeded to stick her finger in the older girl’s vaginal orifice. She then lowered her head and proceeded to orally stimulate her older counterpart. This was not an abnormal occurrence at the sand bar but by all means this was better than pay per view. We watched the sex act continue until the 2 girls seemed to get tired and get down from the top of the boat to relax in the cab and drink more. Cheers filled the air and the girls were living their 15 seconds of fame at the sand bar.

Cheese and I decided it was time for some refills and headed back to our boat to mix a drink. 4 parts vodka 1 part cranberry is what we decided on. We were at the river and we were going to waste no time nursing beers when we had massive amounts of alcohol to consume. We made our drinks and headed out to explore more of this wonderful place. When walking back to the action at the sand bar we saw one of the girls from the earlier performance. We walked up to her and started talking to her;

Mason: HEY! Great show earlier, you must be tired, why don’t you have a drink?

Blonde: (In a drunk mumble) OMG?!?! You saw that? I’m looking for my sister have you seen her?

Cheese: Your sister? We never met your sister; we don’t know what she looks like.

Blonde: Yes you do, she was that girl I was dancing with on the boat

Mason: Wait a second! That was your sister?!?! Like sorority sister right? Best friend that you call your sister?

Blonde: No, that is my real sister, same mom, and same dad. I need to find her, I lost her.

Mason: So you just went down on your sister? That is fucking awesome! We’ll help you find her because I’m sure everyone that saw the show wants to see an encore performance.

Cheese and I looked at each other, looked at the girl and then we were off to walk the sand bar with our new friend to find her loving sister. Our new friend was completely wasted, could hardly walk and kept whining about her sister. I would normally ditch a chick like this but she intrigued me. This girl just tossed her sister’s salad in front of a crowd of people. She had no shame; I wondered to myself what else she would do.

We walked for 20 minutes drinking and watching people come up to our new friend to compliment her on the show she had put on with her sister. Her sister was nowhere to be found so in a drunken way only she could do she looked at Cheese and I and said, “Fuck it, we’ll find her later at the boat or something” and then sat down in the 4 inch water in the sand. She then throw out her legs, leaned back and rested on her elbows and threw back her hair. Cheese and I just stood there and looked down on her from our current standing position. I saw what she was doing, she was trying to be sexy in the sand. If she would have been able to walk or talk even halfway straight then I would think this may be halfway sexy if I didn’t just see her go down on her sister. I decided to indulge this girl so I looked at Cheese with my “Follow my lead and we’ll have some fun” smirk. He nodded and it was on.

Mason: Are you a model?

Blonde: No but I get asked that a lot

Cheese: Well look at the way you are sitting, it’s like a pose

Mason: Ya, watch, me and Cheese will drip some water on you while you put your hair back and play with your hair and when people walk by we’ll have them take pictures. It will be like a photo shoot.

Blonde: OK!

She threw her hair back and started tossing it around as Cheese and I started to gently kick water on her. I looked at Cheese and then gave him the nod and after that our gently kicking turned into a violent kicking and splashing water on this girl. It was hard for her to try to pull off a sexy look while trying to take in breaths in between buckets of water being splashed on her. She then went from trying to be sexy mode into defense mode and covered her eyes to protect herself from the water. Needless to say Cheese and I thought this was hilarious and continued splashing water on this drunk girl. She then stood up and looked at us.

Cheese: We need more drinks, I hope you find your sister

Mason: Sounds like I’m with him. Tell your sister I say hi!

She stood there dumbfounded as to what had just happened as Cheese and I walked off to get more drinks. The rest of the day at the sand bar was spent at the boat drinking and relaxing as one would do on vacation.

Day 2, part 2:

We packed everything up at the sand bar and started to head back to the rest of society. On the boat ride back I found out that Cheese’s mother had a tradition of bringing a box of wigs with her to wear on the ride through the channel. Being halfway on the road to being shitfaced I went digging through the wigs and found one that I just had to wear. It was blonde curls. Not long blond curls, this wig looked like the hair of a little English boy whose parents dressed him in short knickerbockers with suspenders and a lollipop. I put on the wig as we prepared to enter the channel. We started blasting the music and dancing like drunk idiots wearing wigs because, let’s face it, we were drunk idiots wearing wigs.

Driving through the channel was interesting due to everyone staring at us and us yelling at everyone staring at us. We were passing a small part of the channel when Cheese grabbed my arm and pointed with an excited expression he yelled, “LOOK!” There I saw something that would change the direction of our trip. A girl with the biggest natural breasts I have ever seen was flashing us. She wasn’t showing her boobs to everyone, she was pointing at our boat and showing us her enormous breasts. Thinking quickly I yelled to Cheese’s dad who was driving the boat, “PARK THERE! Next to the boat that those huge tits are on!” He looked at me and turned the boat into the empty spot.

Now when I say these were huge breasts, these were double F’s. That is FF. I didn’t know they made boobs that big or that there was a way to measure boobs that big but this girl had proved that there was a way. We parked the boat and I hopped out and walked up to the boat with Cheese.

Cheese: You have nice boobs, can I motorboat them?

Mason: That would be fucking awesome!

Juggs: Ummm, what will you give me if I let you?

Cheese: 1 beer if you let me motorboat your tits.

Juggs: 2 beers

Cheese: SOLD! (Turning back to our boat) DAD! I need to beers now!

Within a minute there were 2 beers flying through the air which Cheese and I both caught. We turned around and at the boat we approached again.

Cheese: 2 beers 1 motorboat

Juggs: Ok, hop on up.

Cheese hops up and buries his head in between her breasts while making the motorboat sound with his mouth and moving his head side to side. After seeing this I had picked the ride that I wanted to get on. Cheese backed away slowly and I approached and started talking to the Juggs. The conversation went as well as it could for 2 drunk people. I had already seen her boobs and seen my friend go diving in between them. I didn’t have much time so I told her I was a lot older than I was and that I made a lot more money than I did and that she was hanging out with me that night. (Its havasu, its not right if you don’t lie) She then agreed and we exchanged phone numbers and it was back to the boat and back to the house to get some food in my system and drink some more.

Day 2, Part 3:

After dinner I picked up my phone to see 2 missed calls from the big boobed girl from the channel. 1 message. I checked the message and it was as follows:

Juggs: Hey, its me from the channel today, I’m just calling to see what you guys are doing tonight, call me back

Needless to say I called back:

Juggs: Hello?

Mason: Hey, just got your message, what are we doing tonight?

Juggs: I don’t know there is a club in town that we can go to.

Me: We can’t go there

Juggs: You can’t go there? Are you even 21?

Mason: Of course I am, I told you that today

Juggs: Oh, then why can’t you go?

Mason: We only have 1 car here and its not mine or Cheese's

Juggs: Oh that’s no problem, we can come and pick you up. We will get you at around 930 so be ready and then we can go. I’m bringing a friend with me too

Mason: Sounds good to me, call me when you want directions and we’ll be ready

I told Cheese what was going on and we plotted the night ahead of us. 9:30 rolled around and along came Juggs with her friend. We will refer to her friend as DDD because her breasts were DDD’s. They paled in comparison to FF but by all means that girl was trying and I was going to give her that much. They picked us up and when we got in the car there was 3 14 year old kids. 2 girls and 1 boy.

Mason: I thought we were going to a club, what’s up with the babysitters club?

Juggs: Oh, we are watching them out here for the weekend, they aren’t going to come in they are gunna go run around the parking lot or something.

Mason: Ok, sounds good to me. How old are you girls anyways? You never told me.

Juggs: I’m 24 and DDD is 36

We got to the club and it was what I expected. A club in the city of Lake Havasu. A bunch of people under dressed and kids from riverside walking around everywhere. We head to the bar and start taking shots. Juggs buys the first 2 rounds and Cheese takes DDD to a table and sits down. Juggs and I hit the dance floor where we remained for the next hour. Let me explain something here. I am white which means I can not dance. I have one dance move, and that is grinding my package up against the girls ass. That is all I know and all I am willing to learn and I don’t even do that well. The only time you will ever see me on a dance floor is if I am with a girl and drunk. Both prerequisites were met here and hence that is why I made it to the dance floor

After an hour of simulated sex on the dance floor I was ready to leave. I don’t like clubs because of the over priced drinks, bitchy girls, kids throwing around their parents money, and the overall smell and sweat factor. We met up with Cheese and DDD and the girls called the young kids running around in the parking lot and we all hopped in the car and we were off to their place.

When we got back to their place we found 3 more young kids. Apparently these girls decided to bring a whole Jr. High class to Havasu with them. Nothing was going to happen at this place with all these kids running around so Cheese and I decide to drink heavily because after all it is their alcohol and that means free. We drink and mess around with the kids. After about an hour of this I was bored. I told Juggs and DDD that it was time they dropped us off. Cheese had found a friend amongst the kids. We’ll call her Youngun. She told Cheese she was 18 and that she was helping the girls look after the younger kids because she lived in the city. She rode along with DDD, Juggs, Cheese and I back to our place.

We got back and walked in careful enough to not wake up anyone sleeping. The girls were right behind us as all 5 of us walked into the room Cheese and I were sharing in this 6 bedroom house. We all cracked open some beers and started drinking. Cheese hopped into bed as Youngun sat at the edge of the bed talking with him. I saw what was going on and had to help out a friend. I grabbed DDD and Juggs and took them to the backyard. It is now about 4:30 in the morning as I sit in the backyard trying occupying these 2 girls enough so Cheese is able to throw some man mustard in this 18 year old’s hair and then we can get the girls out. After 5 minutes of talking DDD looks at me and says, “WHERE IS YOUNGUN?!?!?!”

Mason: She is in the bedroom with Cheese.

DDD: OMG! (While saying this she jumped out of the chair and opened the door to the room and yelled) Yougun if you don’t come out here right now I’m going to tell these boys how old you really are!

Cheese heard what DDD had said and stopped the hanky panky abruptly and joined us outside.

Cheese: So how old are you?

Youngun: Ummmm 18

Cheese: Why did DDD say she would say your real age?

Youngun: Ok, don’t get mad, I’m really 15

Cheese: 14!?!

Me: (uncontrollably laughing) Aww, so are you excited for high school?

Cheese: Shut up! I’m going to bed

DDD: I think this is our queue to leave

Mason: Sounds good to me, I'm going to go to bed but if you can ditch these tweens in the next couple of days then call me

Juggs: Definitely, sorry about everything

Mason: Its ok just make it up to me in the most creative way you can.

With that, I walked the girls out and got into bed alone. It was a very anti climactic ending to an eventful day. To this day I know more would have happened if Cheese hadn’t decided to hook up with a 14 year old that looked 12 but said she was 18.

I Used To Be An Asshole

2008-09-29T16:41:00.000-07:00

So I decided it would be good fun to bring back some stories I had hidden in a blog that was never visited and post some of them here.

I am 19 and on my way home from Garden Grove with my friend Cheese at 8:30Am on a Saturday morning. I get a text and open my phone to check it. "You are the biggest asshole I have ever met in my entire life." I see who it's from. I change the number in my phone to "DO NOT ANSWER". I don't think I will ever be talking to her again. Lets back this up and look at the time line that led to this text...

6Pm: Get out of the shower and get ready to meet up with Cheese to pregame for the party.

7Pm: Arrive at Cheese's and talk about how we are going to get alcohol

7:15PM: Arrive at Ralphs and head towards the alcohol aisle. I watch the aisle while Cheese sticks a handle of Southern Comfort down his pants. Yes, we stole alcohol, it was the quickest and easiest way to get it when you are only 19. We are clear and head out.

7:30Pm: Back at Cheese’s we started drinking shot for shot of Southern Comfort.

8:30Pm: We are both inebriated as we hop in his car to go to a party. Mind you, once again, we are both 19 at this point in our lives so this house party was a big deal.

8:45Pm: Arrive at the house party and split up to mingle. We are both well on our way to being shitfaced as we mooch beers off of people and slur around the party. The party is a big blur and not too much was going on, just a bunch of underage kids getting wasted. We stay, we get drunk over the next couple of hours.

11:30Pm: We are both sloppy drunk as we grab what was left of an 18 pack at the party and decide that it is a good idea to go to In and Out for some food. Cheese is driving, we get in his car with a full beer each.

11:45Pm: Arrive at In and Out and park. We stumble out of the car and walk in to In and Out with our beers in hand. We order and pay for the food realize we just brought beer into In and Out, I go to the bathroom and finish my beer and throw it away. We leave In and Out.

12:00Am: We realize that we paid for food and left and did not eat the food. We know we are shitfaced. I call the girl I am dating, we'll call her Kristen. Kristin is at home with her gay best friend and invites us over. We are en route.

12:30Am: We arrive at Kristen's with the beer we had taken from the party, walk in and start drinking more. We are keeping it mellow and watching tv and drinking... A lot.

2:00Am: I get a call from a number I do not know. The conversation is as follows:

Mason: Hello?
Girl: Hi is this Mason?
Mason: Well yes it is.
Girl: Hi, you don't know me but your number was in my phone for some reason. It's my friend's 21st birthday tonight and I wanted to invite you. We are doing lap dances and body shots, you should come.
::This is where I question the seriousness of some random girl but I'm wasted and it sounds real to me::
Mason: Here, talk to the boy that's driving.

Cheese gets on the phone and listens to the girl's pitch. Cheese's eyes get big and he looks at me and says, "lets go." With that we extended a "pity invite" to Kristen and her gay friend. We expected them to say they did not want to come because it was late so we asked expecting a no so we look like nice guys that asked in the first place...

They said yes....

2:15Am: Pile into Cheese's car and we are off to Garden Grove which is at least 40 minutes away.

3:00Am: Arrive at the party in Garden Grove, the house is tattered, the lights are low but there is still people there and drinking. I call the girl that called me, we can call her Mary. Mary comes out and I realize I know this girl. I met her 2 years before this night. She was a virgin the night I met her at her sister’s, she was not a virgin the next morning when I left...

3:05Am: Mary walks us into the house and there is about 20 drunk people and random girls dancing. I introduce Mary to Kristen, I tell Mary that Kristen is my girlfriend. Everyone walks in and to the backyard, Mary and I are walking behind everyone. When my friends turned the corner Mary grabbed me and shoved me into a corner and shoved her tongue down my throat. I push away, "I'm here with my girlfriend, I can't do this now". She is not happy I brought her. I head to the backyard to meet up with my friends.

3:45Am: Cheese shows up after being gone for 20 minutes. We talk:

Mason: Dude, where have you been? You go to your car with a girl?
Cheese: No dude, I met this guy and the guy would not stop talking about a system he installed in his van. He took me for a ride to show it to me.
Mason: We come to a party where we are promised lap dances and body shots and you end up meeting a dude?
Cheese: What was I supposed to do? The guy wouldn't leave me alone until I took a look at his system.
Mason: Wow, that’s kinda creepy. Whatever. That chick who invited us will not get off my nuts. We should go soon.
Cheese: Sounds good.

We go inside to grab Kristen and her gay friend to leave.

4:00Am: My friends walk out the door, I find Mary and thank her for the invitation and tell her I am leaving. She walks with me towards the front door. As we pass a bathroom on the way she shoves me in the bathroom, sticks her tongue down my throat, grabs my twig and berries, backs up then whispers in my ear while licking it, "If you come back then I'm going to rock your world." Now I gotta see this so I tell her I will text her.

4:10Am: I hop in the car and text Cheese what I was told, he said we will talk after we drop off Kristen. We start to drive home while me and Kristen start getting into a heavy make out session in the back seat. She throws her hand down my pants. I am now drunk in a car getting a hand job while my best friend is driving and a gay guy is hitting on him.

5:00Am: We arrive at Kristen's and decide to have a beer with them before we leave. We get out of the car and walk up. I get a text from Mary, "When are you coming over?" I tell her to give me a little bit. Kristen and gay friend walk in and Cheese and I follow. I tell Cheese we need to go back over there. He tells me that he will if there is a girl for him. I walk in and text Mary. "We will come back over but Cheese needs a girl for him."

5:15Am: We are drinking our beer at Kristen's when I get a text from Mary again. "Ok, the birthday girl thought he was cute. She said she wants to hook up with him." I relay the information to Cheese and we are off.

5:50Am: We arrive in the city of Garden Grove, the sun is coming up, we go to a gas station and buy condoms.

6:05Am: We pull up to the house again and go right in. There are 2 girls inside, Mary and the birthday girl. We all have a beer and talk for a little bit. The conversation is boring so I look at the birthday girl, "Why don't you take Cheese and show him the other room." She agrees and Mary and I are alone.

6:30Am: Mary pulls out the bed from the couch and we hop in. She jumps on me and starts ripping off my clothing. I lay back and let her. We fool around.

7:30Am: We humped for an entire hour and I have gone through 3 condoms. This girl will not pass out, she is still all over me begging me for round #4. Gimme a break, I was 19 I am spent. Cheese walks out of the room wearing just his boxers, a frown and an erection. He looks at me and her naked on this bed under the covers.

Mason: What's up buddy, how was it?
Cheese: I wouldn't know, she is asleep, she won't wake up and I'm not going to try to wake her up anymore, I was doing that for the last hour.

Mary jumps on top of me and straddles me in front of Cheese, she whispers in my ear, "Lets go again."

I have a moment of clarity:

Mason: You said my friend would have a girl. She is passed out, that's not cool.
Mary: I didn't know she was going to pass out.
Mason: Well you said it. I'll tell you what, you give Cheese a blowjob and then we can go again.
Mary: Are you serious
Mason: Of course I am, you told me he was gunna have a girl, I'm not gunna be the only one having fun here, I gotta look out for my boy.
Cheese: That's true, I'll be quick.

Mary looks at Cheese and then me and mumbles, "AAhhh, ok"

Cheese walks to the edge of the bed and drops is pants. She begins to go to work on him. After 6 to 7 clean pumps she backs off:

Mary: I can't do this
Cheese: Oh come on...
Mason: Ok, thats fine. Cheese, lets go smoke a cigarette out back. He agrees.

Cheese and I are smoking a cigarette out back of this girls house in our boxers when her parents walk out back and see us. They look and wave and smile. Apparently this girl lived in a back house from her parents and the parents were home, up and awake at 8Am to see us. This was awkward. I smile and wave.

8Am: Cheese and I talk about what is going to happen

Cheese: Dude that chick isn't going to do anything. Lets just go.
Mason: Ok, my clothes are still in there, I'll get dressed and then we can walk out.
Cheese: Sounds good to me.

I walk in and put on my pants and my shirt and tell Mary I need to go to the car to grab my phone. I go to the car, get in and sit and wait. I see Cheese run out with his pants on, and his shoes and shirt in his hand. He is literally running, he hops in the car, starts the engine and we take off.

8:15Am: I get a text from Mary:

"You are the biggest asshole I have ever met"

I show the text to Cheese and we both have a laugh, I don’t text back.

9:00Am: I stumble into my house, crawl into bed and pass out.

Mason Is A Beer Olympics Medalist

2008-09-24T10:42:00.000-07:00

I know you will be just as excited to know as I am to tell you that I recently participated in the beer olympics. What is the beer olympics Mason? Oh child, that is a glorious question. Let me explain to you what the wonderful event we call the beer olympics is.

First you split into teams of 4. 3 boys and 1 girl per team. We put the 1 girl on each team so everyone is at an equal disadvantage. There are events that your team and you compete in. Events include but are not limited to; Flip Cup, Beer Pong, Quarters, 40oz Frenzy, Beer Duel, and Beer Bong. Of course there are rules for each game which we will not get into but those are the basics. Your team challenges other teams in any of the games and then the event begins. The winners get a point and the losers lose a point. At the end of the night when everyone is drunk the team with the most points wins. I am happy to say that My team did not lose an event thanks to a strong anchor... me.

On the way to this miraculous event I got a call from the boobie girl, Emily called me and kept on talking and talking about basically nothing. I have this trick I use to get people off the phone so I decided to use it on her. I interrupted her mid-sentence:

Mason: What time is it?

Emily: Ummm, 7:45.

Mason: 7:45!!!!

::Click::

The trick is to ask the time, receive the time, yell the time loudly back into the phone and then hang up. You leave the person on the other end completely confused and you are off the phone.

This usually works but she called back.

Emily: You hung up!

Mason: Hahaha, I didn't realize what time it was. Do you want to hear a joke?

Emily: Ok.

Mason: What has a 1 inch penis and hangs down?

Emily: I don't know.

Mason: A bat! What has a 9 inch penis and hangs up?

Emily: I don't know.

::Click::

Get it?

She didn't get it again and called back!

Emily: You hung up on me again!

Mason: You didn't get the joke?

Emily: What joke? That was mean.

Mason: Haha, I have to go, I will talk to you tomorrow. Bye.

She didn't call back. This was while we were on our way to pick up Jayme. Jayme came along but didn't participate in the olympics and at the end of the night we all took a cab back to her place and slept there because after the beer olympics, no one is able to drive.

Diversity

2008-09-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

I am starting this new thing where I don't really go out during the week anymore. I am getting much more sleep which is refreshing. I wish I could blame it on that but the real reason is all these good shows are starting and I can't bare to miss them. I mean c'mon! House, Prison Break, Heroes, and ~~Dancing With The Stars~~ Fringe. I embrace my dorky nature and love of computers, that's not to say that I go around bragging to people about it but it is there.

When people first meet me they don't think, "This guy is a huge dork and I bet he loves computers too." They think the opposite, or so I am told. Once you get to know me then you will slowly understand my dorky dorky qualities. I don't try to act like someone I am not and my inner dork is a part of me so I embrace it. The things in the past few weeks that have pointed out my inner dork are as follows:

While lying in bed watching the VMA's Jayme caught me singing along to the Jonas Brothers song they performed.

Brian's girlfriend pointed out that, while telling her what actors were in the show Fringe, I told her that Pacey from Dawson's Creek was in it.

I think this picture,

Is the funniest thing I have seen in a while.

While at my house last week a friend pointed out that my cat follows me around and has to be in the same room as me at all times or else he will start crying.

I taught my cat how to play fetch out of boredom.

I got excited to give my father access to my FTP and teach him how to use it.

I am sure there are more examples but this was just recently.

Lets just say I am diverse. I can sit and argue with you about over clocking memory and the pros and cons of MLC flash memory vs SLC flash memory and then beat you at beer pong and flip cup. This makes me a worldly gentleman. I decided.

On a completely unrelated note. I had a blog I used to write a while ago that has some pretty good stories in it outlining yours truly doing some stuff that would put me in the category of an asshole. Looking back on the stories, they are pretty entertaining though :-) I have stopped writing in it because of this one and frankly, I have kind of matured? Still trying to figure that out. I am contemplating sharing that one or importing some stories. Thoughts?

Alcohol Makes Girls Crazy

2008-09-19T14:37:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine just moved back to town after graduating and called me and said she decided to have a party at her place because she had lost touch with a lot of friends and wanted to socialize locally again. I invited some mutual friends and showed up at her place early to hang out. I invited Jayme because I was feeling like a nice boy.

We all were drinking and having a good time, people were in and out of the spa. I was having fun. Jayme showed up at around 11pm (she always makes late entrances). I introduced her to basically everyone at the party because once again, I am a super nice boy and I feel that by introducing her to the girls it makes her less uncomfortable around the girls she doesn't know.

Now we are at this girl's party hanging out, and by party I mean there were people around her house hanging out and drinking while she ran around like a crazed psycho woman pointing out how many people she didn't know. This party was AWESOME. Can you sense the sarcasm?

Lets back up here

She was having a party. Even as the host of a party, you aren't expected to know everyone at your party. She told me to invite people which I did. Now this was completely uncalled for when she started running around the house. I think someone had a little bit too much to drink. I stand by my hypothesis due to the fact that she was pulling up her dress and then flashing people a mere 20 minutes before she turned psycho bitch. Learn how to hold your liquor

This girl, whom I had introduced Jayme to, walked directly up to us in her wrath of pointing out people she didn't know and looked at me and pointed, "I know you" then looked at Jayme and pointed, "I don't know you" and then she walked off.

What just happened? Did she try to kick Jayme out? This is stupid, I can't deal with that chick right now

I grabbed Jayme, said goodbye to a friend and walked out the door and drove Jayme and I to my place to go to bed.

We woke up the next morning to what is becoming a ritual. We played fetch with my cat for a good hour while watching tv and laying in bed together. I started to get hungry for my favorite breakfast of all time... Chilaquiles. I will marry the first girl that brings me chilaquiles in bed. I decided. That is how much I love that dish. I took Jayme to a little mexican restaurant that has some of the best chilaquiles ever before dropping her off at her car.

This chick is kind of growing on me. I don't see any type of relationship coming from this but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the friends with benefits thing we have going on now. She is fun to hang out with when she isn't shitfaced wasted.

Cat's Play Fetch?

2008-09-16T10:01:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a week. Things flew by and I didn't even get to throw some mid-week updates in. Whoops. For those of you following me on Twitter Then there hasn't been much action there either. Basically sorry for sucking, I will try harder to not suck so much.

I went to the VMA's and they were a lot of fun. For those of you who didn't watch, the basic census of the host from everyone I talked to at the show was that he was super annoying. A lot of his British humor didn't translate well at all and a lot of people got offended about some of his political references considering the guy can't even vote in the states. He called out over half of the people in the states by calling Bush a retarded cowboy. Being there, it was just as bad, people didn't know how to react to this attention seeking flamboyant English man that was hosting.

I changed seats a couple times during the show on commercial breaks. When I first sat down, I had lil Wayne directly in front of me and Katy Perry directly behind me with Miley Cyrus across the aisle to my left. Then I realized I was sitting in Lindsey Lohan's seat when she arrived so I moved and sat behind Katy Perry for a while. I moved from there after a while and sat in front of Britney Spears who really did look good in person that night. I ended up sitting back by Katy Perry for the close of the show in the area that I like to call "Every 15 year old girl's wet dream". I was sitting behind Zack Efron and the cast of High School Musical, the pussycat dolls were in front of them, Danity Kane and Miley Cyrus was to my left, Christopher Mintz-Plasse was to my left, and Katy Perry behind me. All in all it was a fun night and a good experience so I will see you at next year's award show.

The week was kind of uneventful so lets get to some of the good stuff. Friday night I had some people over at my place and we all hung out watching the Halo's. We ended up going to a local bar around 11:30. The bar was completely dead and we were the youngest people there by at least 15 years. I was having fun with my friends but still decided to bust out my phone and start texting. First person I thought of was Jayme. It didn't take long for her to text back and she wasn't doing anything so I invited her out. 30 minutes later she was calling me from the parking lot of the bar.

Jayme: I'm here

Mason: Ok, come inside.

Jayme: I don't want to, I'm not dressed for it. Come outside, lets just go to your house.

Mason: Ahhh, ok. Let me say goodbye to the people here.

With that I said bye to my friends and her and I went back to my place and snuggled up on the couch and watched some tv. Some friends came in and hung out for a bit but nothing too exciting happened. Jayme and I went to bed.

The next morning we woke up and layed in bed for a few hours talking and watching Saturday morning reruns. While we were laying there, my cat hopped on the bed, walked on my stomach and gently placed an old wristband on my stomach that he had dug out of the trash. He does this all the time, I just never talk about it because I am not a crazy cat person. I took the wristband and threw it across the room. He ran and grabbed it and walked it back over, jumped on the bed and place it on my stomach again before I threw it.

Jayme: Did he really just do that?

Mason: What?

Jayme: Your cat is playing fetch.

Mason: Ya, I throw it and he gets it and brings it back.

Jayme: That is so crazy, I have never seen a cat do that before.

Mason: Well mine is an awesome super cat.

Jayme: Haha, I want to throw it.

We played fetch with my cat for a good hour while watching tv.

I got a call from some friends at a pool who invited me. I invited Jayme and she declined and left to go home for the day.

I ended up at the pool with my boys for the day having a lazy Saturday which was well deserved.

I don't know what to think of Jayme right now. A huge reason why I like her is because she isn't clingy when we aren't together. She hardly ever initiates conversations during the week and she gives me space. It isn't too much too fast from her which is good. We'll see where this one goes, I don't see anything too serious happening but we are both having fun and why ruin a good time??

Let's Have Some Fun

2008-09-09T11:00:00.002-07:00

Wow, I am still super pooped but whatever is whatever so lets get things rolling. It was a friend's going away party at a local bar so some friends and I planned on doing that. It was actually a lot of fun. There was a lot of people I knew there and everyone was having a great time. Nothing too exciting happened there, just drinking and mingling with a bunch of friends. My friend who was driving gave me a 15 minute warning before we left. Oh shit! I wasn't prepared for this. It is only 12:15, what am I going to do? I got an idea!!

All the alcohol I had consumed was telling me what to do. I decided to play along. I looked through my phone and picked out 4 numbers. Jayme, Meesha, Anny, and Mary. I quickly typed up a text, "Hey dork, what kind of trouble are you causing tonight?" Then I hit send. I gave myself the pep talk as I was waiting for responses. Ok [Mason], it's almost 12:30 so it is going to be first come first serve. Whoever responds that is willing to come over first wins and then we can ignore the other. Ready? Break!

The first 2 responses I received were from Meesha and Jayme:

Meesha: hehe, I'm not causing trouble. I am in bed, I have an early morning tomorrow. Too much work to talk her out of that. Onto the next

Jayme: Who you calling a dork? I am at home with the roommates being bored. What are you doing? JACKPOT!

I told Jayme I was leaving a bar and she should come over and hang out with myself and some friends. She agreed and 30 minutes later she was arriving at my place. Dan and Britney were over and we all hung out for a while before heading to the bedroom.

We played hokey poke her for a little bit and then went to bed. We woke up the next morning and hung out for a bit at my place, making plans for the day. The girls left and Dan, my roommate and I went out for breakfast.

Dan: I want an OGSB

Mason: OGSB?

Dan: Duhh, it's the best thing ever. Original Grand Slam Breakfast at Denny's

Mason: You are a retard.

We were sitting at breakfast making plans for the day. We decided on going to the beach, then going shopping (I needed a new shirt for the VMA's), and then going out to meet up with people for a friend's birthday. Everything set and it was going to be a good day, until I was thrown a curve ball.

The girl in the mirror texted me and invited me to a party in the hollywood hills at some mansion with an open bar and dj's and what not. I told her I had a friend's birthday to attend that night and was already committed. I was then told that it was a pool party during the day and it was over at 5. Beach with the boys, or mansion in the hills with open bar... My favorite drink is a free one and I can't turn that down.

I told her to give me a little to get ready and get a shirt and I would be down. It was on...
We drove up to LA and parked at the address she was told to and after a little bit of trouble with the bitchy girls at the desk, we got our wristbands and boarded the bus to go to the mansion. The mansion was huge. No one was inside but it was a big pool party outside. We headed to the bar and got our free drinks (my favorite kind of drinks). We walked around the party and it was a mellow pool party with loud music and an awesome view.

They had a photo booth that we took advantage of. They also had an area set up in the backyard where you were able to silk screen your own t-shirt. It was an awesome house and the party was fun. I talked with the girl in the mirror for most of the party. She is an awesome chick and so much fun to hang out with.

The party started to wind down and we left at around 5:30 or so. On the way home, I got a call from Emily. I knew exactly who it was when I picked up the phone and she said her name. She got my number from a friend of mine and she was the girl from the club a couple weeks earlier. She asked if I was going to the birthday that night and how I was getting there. She was implying that she needed a ride. I was joking with her and called her a stalker for tracking down my number and then calling me. I told her I wasn't driving and I would see her there and left it at that. We stopped by my father's house on the way home to pick up my sister because I was bringing her out for the night. The girl in the mirror met my father which is always an experience for people because they don't expect my father and I to have the relationship we do. My father is one of my best friends and it shows when we interact.

I got to my place and had friends already there getting ready to go out for a friend's birthday at a bar. We headed out to Jamye's place to meet up with everyone before going out for the night. We called the cabs and it was on.

We got to the bar and there was about 20-30 friends there. It was a lot of fun. We were all on the patio having a great time. The girl in the mirror came as well. I had invited her earlier promising her a good time because the group of people I was hanging out with is a complete shit show. I hope I didn't disappoint. I pointed out the people I write about so she was able to see everyone. It was fun at the bar.

Jayme started getting a little bit sloshy drunk which completely turned me off and made me want to have nothing to do with her. I think girls that get way to drunk are completely unattractive. I stayed clear of her because there was a lot of other friends I had there. Then I see a drunk Emily run up to me and throw her hands around me. She grabbed me and took me to the bar for a shot.

We all switched bars and I left Jayme and her friends at the first bar while they were babysitting her. At the next bar Emily was out of control again. Not sloppy drunk just distracted drunk. She kept grabbing me trying to get me to dance with her and every once in a while she would grab me and try to stick her tongue in my mouth. It was very forward and everyone saw and I am not big on any types of PDA's. I grabbed my sober driver during this and we all decided to leave.

We hopped in Emily's care that he was driving for the night and dropped off my sister and then we were on our way to drop me off. On the way to my place she was texting me while sitting next to me that she was going to sleep over. She invited herself and at this point of the night I didn't really care anymore. Our driver dropped us off and we went inside. She headed straight for my room and took off her top and hopped in bed. Yup, you guessed it, she rolled over and started macking and attacking. She hopped on top of me and whispered in my ear, "Do you have a condom?" Why yes I do. The rest is history, needless to say, I was up for later than I expected to be thanks to Emily.

We woke up the next morning and the funny part is that it wasn't even awkward. We talked for a little bit while I was getting ready and she offered to iron my shirt, and then she made my bed. It was semi impressive. I liked her personality when she was sober. I don't know where this one will go but she is only 21 which is a little young for me but that doesn't mean fun can't be had by all.

I dropped her off the next morning and headed to LA...

A Night Can Be Fun

2008-09-02T10:38:00.000-07:00

Go Halos!!! Cheese, Dan and I went to the Angels game on Friday night. We won... duuhhh. After the game we went to Huntington Beach for the nightlife. We met Cheese's cousin at a bar. The night was pretty interesting. Within 10 minutes of us finding a place to sit, Dan had girls buying drinks for him. Cheese calls me over to his table and introduced me to the 4 girls he was talking to:

Cheese: Hey, I need your help. These girls are saying movie lines and I am trying to guess what movie it's from. We are trying to stump each other. You are good at this shit, help me out.

Mason: Haha, ok, sounds good.

We ended up sitting and talking with these girls the entire night. They were actually a lot of fun and I had a great time with them and Cheese. We were giving each other a lot of shit back and forth and I always respect girls who can dish it back. At one point I pulled out one of my business cards and gave it to one of the girls and told her to call me and then winked. This may sound creepy but she knew I was joking when I she looked at my card. The following is what my card looks like:

This is completely true

She looked at the card and started cracking up and then passed it around the table to her friends. Cheese and I were a hit with these girls... Duhhhh.

Just around 12 or so when Cheese and I were still talking to these girls Jayme, and Britney showed up and plopped themselves right next to Dan and I. I knew they were coming because I talked to them earlier but I could see when Jayme spotted me talking with the girls she got a little jealous and had to sit right next to me and try to kiss me in front of everyone. I am not a complete dick but I humored her. We aren't together, we aren't dating, we are just hanging out right now so I thought her obvious forcing of a pda was a little try hard.

We left the new girls we met and bid them farewell. They told us how awesome we were, we told them we already knew ;-) Me and the boys went back to Jayme's place and got some more beer and all slept there. All in all it was a fun night, I thought about the girls when I got back to Jayme's. I just hoped they used the number on the card. I wasn't able to get their numbers because Jayme was watching me like a hawk and once again, I am not a complete dick.

***********************

I got home the next morning and while checking my email I saw a particular email of notice. I opened and read and I am officially going to the VMA's!! I am so excited, it should be a good time.

That night, Cheese, Dan and I went up to LA for a party at one of Dan's friend's places. This house was out of control. It was huge! We met some cool people there and all met some girls but there really wasn't much talent there or anything memorable. I wasn't too happy with the turn out or the caliber of people there so in respectable fashion I got really really drunk and entertained myself. I had pointless conversations with guys and I hit girls that I had no intention of trying to get with.

The last thing I remember is taking shots of jagermeister straight from the bottle and passing it back and forth with some guy whose name I don't remember. The next thing I know, I am waking up in the back of Dan's car to Dan saying, "You can drive home now or sleep at Cheese's but either way you need to get out of my car." I politely got out of the car and enjoyed the comfort of Cheese's couch for the night.

I ended up at a BBQ the next day. Britney, Dan and Jayme were all there. It was actually a lot of fun. We all drank beers and cooked hot dogs and celebrated the day of labor. We played beer pong and flip cup which is always good old fashion fun that will bring back memories.

Jamye ended up getting really really drunk by 4pm and was all over me in front of everyone. It was completely embarrassing for me and I bet even more embarrassing for her if she even remembers. Dan saw this happening when she was drunk and told the girls that I wanted nothing to do with her when she was like that and he was right. She was sloppy and slurring and falling and just being a drunk mess. I wanted nothing to do with her and kept trying to convince her to take a nap and she kept trying to convince me to make out with her. Eventually her friends stepped in and put her to bed. After her nap she came back out and was better then when she had gone down.

During that nap time I got a text from a random number, "Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!" I didn't know the number but I knew who it was right away. It was the girls from 2 nights before that Cheese and I met at the bar. Her and I texted back and forth all night, exchanging movie quotes. This girl had a great sense of humor and the texting was pretty much the highlight of my night. I gotta love a girl that can make me chuckle.

The night flew by and at around 1am we had the awesome idea to leave. Dan, Britney, and Jayme all went back to my place where everyone crashed from all the day drinking.

After that, nothing too special happened. Hanging out at the pool, led to another bbq and some awesome food. I was texting the girl, from the bar during the day as well. Her exact words, "You boys are too much fun, we have to hang out again." I told her ok but she had to come to my part of town since she lives about 30 minutes north of me. She said ok and that they were going to sleep over. I love sleepovers :-)

**************************

Oh! On another note, I got a text from the ex the other day at like 8:30am

EX: Oh wow, that Gavin Degraw song, "Follow through" I dedicated to you the first few months we were together just came on at work. Weird. Hope you're good...

I didn't respond, she is just putting that out there to get me to start thinking about her again and get me to chase her. That is not going to happen, I am having just a fine and dandy time without her. :-)

VMA's here I come!!

I Am That Guy

2008-08-29T11:07:00.000-07:00

Background: Try to follow this. Cheese's girlfriend's brother is married to Meesha's best friend. Got it? No? Read it again slowly, get it and then follow along:

Cheese: My chick asked if you were banging Meesha.

Mason: Haha, why? How would she know?

Cheese: Is it true?

Mason: It may be. Depends. Why? What's going on?

Cheese: I guess my chick's brother and his wife think you are.

Mason: Haha, wow, people talk too much. Why do they care?

Cheese: They asked my girlfriend to find out from me if you are. I guess she has a boyfriend and they think that she is cheating on him with you.

Mason: HAHAHAHA! Are you serious? That is fucking awesome! That chick didn't mention anything to me about a boyfriend, she just wanted to sleep over all the time. You were there one night, you remember, she was all over me.

Cheese: Oh ya! Well I guess she does have a boyfriend or something. I don't know, this is all stupid. I don't care. I don't even know why I brought up.

Mason: Hahaha, you just made my day. That is awesome, girls crack me up with the things they do.

Rounding 2nd?

2008-08-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

Britney scored some awesome tickets to an Angels game so Dan, Kerri, Britney and I attended.
The seats were awesome. We had a great time. Dan snuck in a flask of vodka and we ate hot dogs and cheered for the Halos. Besides them losing, it was a fun night.

Before the game
^I Took this picture ^
ended Jayme texted me and asked what I was doing. I let her know I was at the game and we were almost leaving. Jayme said she wanted to hang out. After the beers Britney bought me and the flask Dan had, hanging out sounded like a wonderful idea. I told her to come meet at my place. Jayme's exact words were, "Ok, but don't get used to it. I'm not normally this free all the time." Hah! Ok, I understand, she doesn't want me to
see her like that, as a booty call, or a non-booty call for that matter based on what we have been doing.

We all got home and everyone came in for a drink after the game. Jayme showed up and hung out with all of us. Everyone left and Jayme and I were left alone. We did some making out on the couch before we went to bed. We got in my room and did some more making out happened before the alcohol got the best of me and I decided to see if she had groomed in the past 3 days. To my astonishment she had!! Wowsa, maybe she did know why I slowed down the other night. That thought crossed my mind for a mere 5 seconds before I rounded second. When we walked upstairs for bed, I was actually pretty tired and was planning on making out and then going to bed until this new piece of information was presented to me. Needless to say, we were up for quite a bit longer and yes I did bring it all the way home... Unlike the Angels earlier in the night. I guess we can be happy someone scored that night. Hahaha, I crack myself up.

She left for work before I woke up the next morning and I got a text later that day that said, "I had a great time last night." Really? All she did was come over and then me. AHHHhhh!! I get it hehe. I texted the same thing back.

I don't know what caused her to groom but lets just say it worked out best for the both of us :-)

Oh and on another note. I saw a you tube video the other day and developed a huge kindergarten crush for the girl in it. I watched some of her other videos and as a musician myself, I have to say, she is awesome. look!

Did That Really Happen

2008-08-26T11:32:00.000-07:00

I have said recently that I don't go out meeting girls. I am content with my friends and I really do have awesome friends but everyone can use more, right? Duhhh, so Dan and I decided it would be a good idea to meet new people. Don't threaten me with a good time.

Dan has been bringing around Britney lately whom I adore. She is a lot of fun to have around and she is awesome for Dan. We started off our night at my place as we normally do. Dan brought Britney, Kerri showed up, and then some other random friends. We went to a local bar/club that is normally not too good but it was local and we had friends there so why not.

When we got there I walked right to the smoking patio alone to do what one does on the smoking patio. I spotted a girl smoking and used the oldest pick up line in the book... "Can I borrow your lighter?" Don't think it's a pick up line? It is. It gets the line of communication open without expressing any interest or being creepy. I started talking with her, minding my body language and watching hers. It had been a long time since I actually had to approach and work on picking up a girl. I forgot how fun it could be. She finished her cigarette and went back inside, not before telling me to come say hi later.

I went and had fun with my friends. Later on we were on the smoking patio when she approached me again and there we talked for a while. My friends met her and then she started getting touchy feely with me. I was sitting on a stool outside and she would come over and position herself in between my legs and what not. Britney was cool about the situation and her and Dan kept telling this chick how cool I was and how lucky she was to have met me. If they say it then it has to be true hahah. Britney invited the girl back to my place right after she whispered in my ear, "I am going to make her come back for you." Go Britney!!!

Before the bar closed we exchanged phone numbers and Britney came to me and told me that the girl was definitely coming over. We all get back to my place and the girl texts at 2:15am for directions. I texted back with them, and I receive another text at 2:40am saying she is on her way. I proceed to then pass out on my couch in all my clothes. I wake up at 4:30am and look around and I am alone. BOOOOO!!! What happened??? I walk upstairs to go to my bed and Britney and Dan are passed out in my bed. AWESOME!! Even better I changed and slept on my comfortable couch that night.

The next night we planned to go on a party bus to a club which my friend, who is a promoter, planned. Mary was going to be there and her and I have been talking recently, nothing too much just instant messenger and texting occasionally. I was interested to see what would happen with that. We all met in a parking lot and hopped on the bus. Dan was my wingman for the night. The bus was a great time, champagne flowing and everyone in a good mood.

By the time we got to the club, everyone stumbled out to make the drunken walk in. Mary and I hung out throughout the night. I didn't make an effort to hang out with her, she was too much of a social butterfly and I had friends there as well that I was having fun with. At one point in the night I sat down at one of the tables with a friend of mine. A girl whom I didn't know sat right beside me and started chatting me up. Out of nowhere this girl calls me by my last name. Not a big deal, everyone calls me by my last name but I didn't know this girl. I was sure of that. Once she said that, I stopped her:

Mason: Wait, stop. Who am I?

Girl: You are [Mason Stanley]

Mason: Wow, do I know you?

Girl: No, but I know who you are

Mason: That is awesome!

This happens for me occasionally. Where someone will approach me and know exactly who I am and know full well that we have never met before. I find it flattering so I don't mind that any one of these people may be a potential stalker.

The girl then proceeded to show myself and everyone at the table her boobs.

Girl: They are real! Look, come here give me your hand.

As she grabbed my hand and put it on her bare breast in the middle of the club.

Mason: Yes, yes they are very real.

This is where the girl grabbed me and started making out with me. Everything just happened so fast the next thing I know she is standing up and running off with another girl. That was the last I saw of her that night.

It was about this time that Jayme texted me and asked what I was doing. I told her where I was and that we were leaving soon and she suggested we should hang out and she would pick me up. HMMMmmmm, maybe she didn't know why I stopped at second the other night While texting her I ran into Mary and her and I decided to go back to the bus since the club was closing anyways. On the bus she became VERY forward with me and said she wanted to come home with me. Then I made my decision. I can get picked up by Jayme or go home with Mary. I told Mary a friend was picking me up and then got off the bus.

15 minutes later Jayme picks me up and we go back to my place. Everyone was super tired so we basically had a drink and went right to bed. There was making out but I remembered the other night and stayed at first base. I was super tired too so I passed out.

I woke up to a text from Mary at 10am. The exact text was, "Pick up your phone, I want to fuck." I didn't respond, I got up and walked Jayme out as Dan and I had an Angels game to attend...

Lets Stop At 2nd

2008-08-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

So much to say and so much of your time to waste, well not waste because you enjoy reading. Lets get started. Holla atcha boi! I have always wanted to say that

I was reminded a couple nights ago how much I take personal hygiene for granted. I am sorry, from now on I will appreciate hygiene and never over look a pair of nicely shaved legs.

Dan had made plans and called me, not to ask if I would like to join but to tell me I was coming. We started off the night going to Britney's sister's place. Britney is Dan's flavor of the month right now and I absolutely adore her. She is so much fun to hang out with and we all always have a great time together. We arrived at the house and were introduced to Britney's sister and her 3 female roommates. We all hung out in the garage where we were immediately challenged to a game of beer pong. I couldn't turn down a challenge, especially when they wanted to bet 25 cents on the game. You are going to challenge me and then get money involved? Bring it on. Dan and I lost 4 games in a row but in beer pong when you lose you drink a lot so I guess that is a win. In our defense they were playing 6 cup beer pong when we are clearly used to playing 10 cup beer pong.

After losing in beer pong, I was a little but tipsy. We ended up going to a bar that had a mechanical bull. Dan and I arrived with the 5 girls. The place was packed and was actually a lot of fun despite the bad reviews my friends gave it. We were all hanging out by the bar when Jayme, one of Britney's sister's roommates, started getting a little touchy feely with me. Next thing I know we are mackin and attackin in the crowded bar. I wish I could say more but I have no idea how it happened thanks to the beer pong. Now Dan was with Britney and I was with Jayme, it was like a double date where everyone got drunk and there were other people there too... If you can picture that. I could tell Jayme was smitten, she kept smiling at me and grabbing my hand and parading me around the bar and telling me how adorable I was. I didn't mind, I was having fun at the bar.

We were hanging out on the smoking patio when I looked over and saw a good looking blonde and then I realized I knew her. I went over and said hi to her and did the mandatory "life updates" that you have to do when you haven't seen someone in a while. When I was talking to her I kept catching glances from Jayme, she was not happy I was talking to her. This only made me talk to her more. I don't want to be claimed, especially not by someone whom I didn't know 6 hours ago. The more she gave me the evil eye, the more I felt it appropriate to hug and put my arm around my old friend pretending I didn't see Jayme.

After this was all done, we all hopped in a cab and headed back home. Needless to say Jayme hopped in the cab right next to me. She grabbed my hand and looked me in the eyes:

Jayme: You are going to cuddle with me tonight right?

Mason: I guess so, Britney is drunk and can't drive back home so it looks like we are all sleeping over.

Jayme: Ok, you are snuggling with me tonight.

Mason: Ok

With that we all got back to the house and Jayme and I headed to her room. Making out ensued but that's really all that happened after I found out one very important piece of information that one can only get from exploring... How do I put this politely??? During the making out hands start to wander, as they usually do. Things started progressing and the wandering turned to groping and then it happened, something I haven't experienced since I was 19 years old... this girl didn't trim the hedges, cut the grass, mow the lawn, or however you want to say it. Once I found this out the hard way, I slowly let things settle down before I eventually passed out. Yes, I pass up sex if the hedges aren't trimmed. I'm not saying a girl should be bald, but knowing a girl takes care of herself is all I need. I take care of myself and I think asking the same in a girl is definitely not too much. I had no sign that this girl took care of herself which was all I needed to roll over and fall asleep. Yes it was an asshole move, I know but when you got pet peeves then you pet peeves.

In the end I ended up passing out without much happening. We woke up the next morning and Jayme and I talked for a bit. I initiated the mandatory awkward number exchange that morning before I walked into Dan and Britney's room to wake them up so I could get to work on time.

I ended up texting Jayme during the day and we talked for a bit. Nothing too exciting, we just expressed our hatred for lack of sleep and hangovers that we were both feeling the next day.

All in all I think I played off the fact that I avoided rounding second pretty well. I wonder if she knows why...

Hang Around, Dan's Around

2008-08-21T16:01:00.001-07:00

I exchanged texts with Meesha last night. Nothing too exciting, just enough so I could keep a line of communication open. Even though I know we aren't going to have a relationship or anything she can be fun to have around occasionally and you can't beat a girl that will drop everything and come over when you call. I didn't want to hang out with her last night so I told her I have been sick and was taking it easy and going to bed early. I use this one a lot, it's easy and effective. I have an ulcer and I blame it on that a lot. It's a dirty move but effective. I told her that I hadn't called her in a week because she always wants to drink and I have been taking it easy. She told me she liked mellow nights too and we could always watch a movie or something. Really?!?! Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. I can be a jerk sometimes. :-) I really did go to bed early.

Just a couple of minutes ago I get a call from Dan:

Dan: You are getting picked up by Britney* at 7 and then we are going to go play beer pong and then going to a bar with a bull in it.

Mason: Really?

Dan: Yes

Mason: I don't know, I am kind of tired, do I have a choice?

Dan: No, she will be there at 7 so be ready.

::Hangs up::

You ever have that one friend who always has something for you to do? That guy you call on Friday afternoon and you don't ask what he is doing for the night or weekend you call and say, "Hey, what are we up to for the weekend? What do you have planned for us?" I am normally that guy getting called. Now Dan is making the plans behind my back and following in my footsteps. I can almost shed a tear I am so happy. This is the second time in a week he has done this. A few days ago he called me and told me not to make plans for labor day due to us going to a girl's house that is having a party. His exact words were, "Don't make any plans, we are going to this chick's place. You can thank me after we get there. You are going to love it." That's all I needed to hear. With Dan, I am an easy sale every time. My little guy is all growns up!

*Britney is Dan's flavor of the month right now.

No Effort, No Mason

2008-08-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

We woke up at 10:30am after going to bed at 6:30am. We practice horrible sleeping habits in sin city. Leslie called me when we woke up and told me to call her before we went to the pool, I conveniently forgot. We rounded up the troops and it was off to the pool for the day. Mike and Cheese insisted that we stop at an itty bitty bar at the MGM grand to take some shots of everclear before we hit the pool. Don't threaten me with a good time. We ended up taking 3 shots of everclear and 3 jello shots and this was before noon.

After this blatant display of Las Vegas alcoholism we headed off to the pool. Today was different because Dan was with us. Dan's nickname that we call him is Man Candy. We call him this because that is exactly what he is. Girls can't get enough of the guy. I have never been at the pool with him and not seen girls come up to him regularly. When Dan is with us we always meet girls, it's just a given like that. Today was no different.

We got into the pool and headed to the lazy river to start floating. Within 3 minutes of us hopping in I looked to my right and there is Dan getting chatted up by a girl. He didn't stop floating though, she was in front of him facing him while we floated and I heard the following:

Girl: Wow, you have beautiful eyes.

Dan: Ummm, ok.

Girl: You are so tan and tall, how tall are you?

Dan: 6'4"

Girl: Well where are you going?

::She turns to us::

Girl: Hey guys, sorry but I'm going to steal your friend. He is sexy.

Dan: We just got here. I'll tell you what, we are gunna be here all day, I'll find you later. I want to hang out with my friends right now.

The girl swam back to her friends and then Dan looked at us and said, "Too easy, lets go find some girls."

HAH! I understood where he was coming from though. Even though she was really cute, it would have been way too easy and when someone is that easy then it gets you thinking why. What is wrong with her that she just threw herself at me? What do the other guys know that I don't? Why aren't they with her? Why didn't I have to work for it? All the questions come into your head and that is why when a girl throws herself at you it is almost as if you are wired to automatically reject her.

We swam around and floated in the lazy river all day, just relaxing and drinking some beers. At one point we ended up hanging out with a group of girls. There was about 10 girls all together and Dan, Mike, Bob, Cheese, and I were hanging out and drinking with them in the lazy river. I found out that they lived in Newport Beach which is right up the street from me. This always happens, we go to Vegas and meet girls and they always live within an hour of us. Oh well, we started talking and Dan and I mentioned we were going to be moving to their area soon and she expressed she was as well. This is when the drunk logic of 3 strangers came into place. After 10 minutes of conversation Dan and I decided we were going to move out with this girl we met in the lazy river at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. We said it as if it was the best idea we had ever come up with and everyone was excited about it.

This went on for about a half an hour with our party in the pool. We stayed until the pool closed and then exchanged numbers so we could continue talking about moving out.

We all went back to the room and ate and got ready for the night. The night wasn't anything special and nothing exciting happened. We went to a new club at the Palazzo which was not good. Lets fast forward to something exciting.

Cheese and I find ourselves awake in Dan's room at 6am. We step out the door and hear yelling from the room across the hall:

Girl: We aren't fucking strippers and this isn't full service. We say what goes and it's $450 a person.

Guy: Fuck that shit, $300 and I say what goes. Stop arguing, we are only wasting time.

::I look at Cheese and whisper::

Mason: Dude!! They are propositioning hookers!

Cheese: That is awesome! Lets knock on the door.

Mason: Haha, ok.

::We knocked on the door and then ran into Dan's room and looked through the peephole::

We saw a guy come out and look up and down the hall and then 2 minutes later we see 2 girls walk out of the room.

Mason: The hookers are leaving.

Cheese: Lets go see them.

We ran to the end of the hall and hopped in the elevator with them. They were actually really cute. One of them was drinking apple juice.

Mason: Apple juice huh

Hooker: Ya, gotta get my vitamin C

Cheese: Gotta get the vitamins for work.

That was it. The elevator hit the bottom floor, hookers walked out, cheese and I went to our room.

I got back to my room at 7am and called Leslie because I knew she had work at 11. She didn't pick up so I went to bed. I got a call from her at 9am:

Leslie: Hey, what are you doing?

Mason: I'm in bed, come in early and come up to the room. We can snuggle before you work.

That wasn't the first time I have ever used that line.

Leslie: Ok, I'll try.

I got a knock on the door at around 10:30am She came 30 minutes before she had to work. What am I supposed to accomplish in 30 minutes with Cheese sleeping in the bed next to me? She hopped in bed and once again we had one of our make out sessions that wen nowhere. She was on top of me and then straightened up and looked at the clock.

Leslie: Look at the time, I need to get to work.

Mason: Ahhh, what a tease

Leslie: You should stay another night

I told her I would think about it as I walked her out. I went back to bed. I woke up in the afternoon and went down to meet some friends at the pool. I was completely tired and hung over. It had been a long weekend and it was now Sunday morning and all I could think about was getting home and laying in my bed.

We hung out by the pool for a bit before heading to clean the rooms and start the leaving process. We checked out with our casino hosts whom took care of most of our meals and drinks that we had charged to the room. I went to say goodbye to Leslie.

Mason: We are leaving now, I wanted to say goobye

Leslie: Aww, well I just got off. You should stay another night. She said it with such implication and the smile on her face and the look in her eye I knew she wanted me to stay and she wanted to stay in my room with me.

Mason: Aww, wish I could but I can't. I have work tomorrow and I am super tired right now.

It was true but getting the day off would have been easy and I would have just as easily been able to get a free room and talk my ride into staying. It was just that I didn't want to stay. This girl had her chance 2 nights in a row to come sleep in my room and have her fun. She didn't necessarily say no, she just didn't make the effort to do so. By Sunday I was starting to get over it because I am not used to pursuing girls that hard. If she wasn't going to make the effort on my time then I sure as hell wasn't going to make the effort on her time. We can hang out next time I come into town, maybe then she will make a little bit more of an effort :-)

With that, I grabbed the boys and we were off. 4 hours later I walked in my door, threw my bag on the floor, hopped in bed and passed out.

Ahhh, I love Las Vegas. I talked with the boys on the way home and it looks like we are going to be going for Halloween. Halloween in Vegas is out of control. Now I just need a costume idea. I was thinking me and a friend dress up as the "Dick in a box" guys from that SNL skit. Or a clever costume would be jeans. I would wear just jeans and would have the following conversation countless times.

Person: What are you?

Mason: I am premature ejaculation

Person: I don't get it

Mason: I just came in my pants.

Vegas Is Latin For Lack Of Sleep

2008-08-18T12:33:00.000-07:00

I have yet again survived another trip to the fabulous Las Vegas. I had been texting the hostess Leslie a couple days before we left and she said she wanted to hang out. I suggested that she come to the pool with us and she agreed before I even arrived in Vegas. Her and I were texting before I got to Vegas and she told me to tell her my room number when I checked in so she was able to come and wake me up in the morning before we went to the pool. REALLY?!?! How can I turn down an offer like that?? We arrived in Vegas at around 11 and checked in to the hotel. Mike was already there and playing poker when we arrived and Kerri, Bob and I drove up together.. I texted Leslie my room number and went to sit with Mike.

Mike and I played poker for a while and then it was off to bed. Sure enough, the next morning at around 10:00 am, there is a knock on our door. I got the door and it was Leslie. She was dressed in her pool gear ready to go. I let her in and introduced her to my friends. She went and sat on the bed and her and Kerri started chatting it up. Mike pulled me aside:

Mike: Hey, I'm going to make and excuse and grab Bob and Kerri and take them to the pool so we can leave you alone. Just come down when you are done.

Mason: Hah, you don't need to but if I end up alone in the room with Leslie then we'll see what happens.

Mike: You are going to be alone with her, I am going to make sure of it.

Mason: Hah, whatever you say Mike.

Mike walks back into the room and makes his announcement.

Mike: Hey guys, lets go to the pool downstairs... Oh and Mason, I ordered a roll away bed, can you stay here and wait for it?

Mason: Ahhh, ok.

Mike: Good, Leslie, stay with him so he's not here alone.

Leslie: Ok.

With that, they were off and Leslie and I were alone in the room. Needless to say, it didn't take long for the making out to begin. We had been making out and rolling around for about 15 minutes when the door opened. I jumped back a bit and standing at the door was Kerri. Kerri acted like she was surprised that Leslie and I were making out and then announced she wanted to take a nap. REALLY!?!?!? You woke up 30 minutes ago and all of a sudden now you want to take a nap and that has nothing to do with me being alone in the room with a girl?

Needless to say this ended any chance of anything happening. 5 minutes after Kerri came in, Mike and Bob came in. Mike pulled me aside again.

Mike: We tried to tell her not to come up and that you would be down. She wouldn't listen. I am pretty sure she has mother hen syndrome.

Mason: I know exactly what you are talking about. This is going to be really annoying.

Mother Hen Syndrome:Someone who feels they are the most important person in the group and will not let anyone have any fun unless they are A) First to have fun, or B) Included in the fun.

Basically, it was completely obvious that Kerri didn't want anyone doing anything until she at least met a boy first so we left Kerri in bed for the day as she wanted. Mike, Bob, Leslie and I went to the pool at the MGM for the day. It is a lot of fun there, we had rafts and just floated around the lazy river all day. It was super relaxing. Leslie and I continued the making out here as well but that's as far as anything would go. Leslie continually expressed how much she loved hanging out with my friends and me. At one point she said, "I wish I could hang out with you and your friends every single day. you guys are so much fun."

We left the pool around 3:30 so that Leslie would be able to make her shift at 4:30. We went back to my room where Kerri was still in bed and Leslie got ready. She was a lot of bit tipsy in the room and I thought it was kind of funny that I was sending her to work drunk. She went to work and I went to the poker tables to wait for the boys to come back from the pool.

The boys came and met me and Mike had the great idea to go to dinner at Leslie's work. I said that would be a great idea. We went and grabbed our casino host to be let into the restaurant because we don't wait in lines. Our host walked us to the very front and told the girls working that we were his clients and he wants us to get the best service. We were seated right away.

After sitting down Leslie saw us and came and sat with us for a bit. She would flag down a new girl every 5 minutes and introduce her to Mike. At one point I think the day drinking had caught up to me and I stopped thinking and just started talking. Leslie flagged down a friend whom sat next to Mike and then held out her hand. She told me her name, which I forgot, and then I responded:

Mason: Hi, nice to meet you. Wow, you have huge boobs.

She excused herself 5 minutes later. It was true though, they were really big and they were popping out of her shirt so I thought I would address the issue instead of not saying what everyone was thinking anyways. I'm fun like that.

After dinner we welcomed Dan, Cheese, and Amy who had just arrived in Vegas. While in the room I got a call from Leslie, she said she wasn't feeling well and she got off work early and she wanted to lie down in bed. I let her into my room and lied down with her for a but until Cheese and Dan told me that we were in Vegas and I wasn't allowed to spend my time lying down. I left her in bed and headed to the poker table with them. We all sat at the same table and we know all the dealers and Supervisors in the poker room so we had a great time at the table. Here are some of the highlights:

Cheese: I hate how there is a double standard in Vegas. If a girl goes around and hooks up with a bunch of guys then she is a "slut". If I go around and do the same thing then everyone calls me a "homosexual".

Yes, he did the air quotes when he said that
Cheese: I always root for the underdogs. The black guy in hockey, the white guy in basketball, the asian guy in porn...

There was some more highlights that I don't remember but it was a lot of gay innuendos that Cheese was making and that is what made it funny. We all planned on going out after poker but we never planned on actually being at the poker table until 6:30am. We were and we didn't end up going out. Mike and I went back to the room to find just Bob in the room. I then remembered Leslie telling me that she was going to nap in my room UNTIL her ride came. That's also the point of conversation where I found out she didn't have a license so when I got back to the room at 6:30 am with Mike I knew she had gone home already. I got changed and hopped in bed and then I hear Mike on the room phone:

Mike: Hi, I would like to get a wake up call for 10:30am please.

Mason: What are you doing that for?

Mike: We are going to the pool tomorr.....eerrr....Today.

Mason: Hah, ok...

To be continued...

Carpe Diem

2008-08-14T09:31:00.000-07:00

I'm going to make this one real quick.

I went to a funeral yesterday, it was beautiful and completely heartbreaking at the same time. It was for a friend of mine that had passed away last week completely unexpected. I know it sounds completely cliche but something like that happening just reminds you how precious life is. It reminds you that nothing is for sure, not even tomorrow.

Live for today because tomorrow may never come -Mike Ness

Dream as if you'll love forever, live as if you'll die today -James Dean

On another note, I am leaving for Vegas tonight and have posted on my other blog an email that was sent to me. Go and check it out and respond accordingly with your advice. Who knows, there may be a winner...

Updates And Vegas

2008-08-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

Meesha has been texting me for a couple days now wanting to hang out. Like I said before, I don't see anything happening with her so when it's convenient for me then I will hang out with her. It's not that I don't like her, she is a nice girl and all but she just isn't relationship material. I can tell she is getting attached, not stage 5 clinger yet, but attached none the less. She will text me randomly to invite herself over or assume we are hanging out. This is not a necessarily a bad thing. If i saw anything happening with her then I would be stoked on this but sadly I am not. She is fun to have around occasionally and that is about it.

On a lighter note, I just finalized my travel plans for fabulous Las Vegas, I will be there this weekend! I am super excited, it is Mike's birthday so we are going out to celebrate. I don't see Mike that often because he lives in another state so when we do hang out we meet in Vegas to hang out because it is half way in between us. We are normally out there about every month or so but the excitement never leaves every time I get ready to go.

There also is a girl out there. I met her a couple trips back and she was working in a restaurant. I was with Cheese and was showing him how quick and easy it was to get a girl's number. He didn't believe me so I got our server's number, then I got another server's number on the way out and finally right before we left, he pointed out the cute hostess. I couldn't pass up a challenge so I got approached and got her number as well. Needless to say, Cheese was impressed as we walked back to our rooms. When we got in the room, I took the 3 napkins with 3 numbers on them and threw them in the trash can.

Cheese: What are you doing?!?

Mason: Throwing the numbers away, I'm not going to call them.

Cheese: But 2 of them were like really cute! Keep those 2!

Mason: Haha, you can have them if you want but we leave Vegas the day after tomorrow, there is no way I am going to call those girls.

With that, we started getting ready for the night.

The next day when I was coming downstairs for breakfast, as I step out of the elevator I hear, "MASON!!!!". I look over and there is the cute hostess whose number I had got the night before in my live demonstration for Cheese. She was now working at a different part of the hotel right next to the elevators.

Mason: Oh heyy!

Hostess: You didn't call me last night!

Mason: Awww, I'm sorry. I lost your number.

Hostess: Well take it down again! We need to hang out! What are you doing tonight?

Mason: We are on the VIP list for the clubs at the Palms so we are going to tear up the palms tonight. What is your number again? Oh and you're going to hate me but I forgot your name too.

Hostess: OMG! I do hate you, make it up to me later though :-) It's Leslie and my number is 702.XXX.XXXX.

Mason: Ok Leslie, I have a long day of hanging out at the pool to do today so I will call you later.

With that I left. We ended up shooting texts back and forth later that night but nothing happened and we weren't able to meet up.

I have been back to Vegas a couple times since then and I see her every time and we are never able to hang out just because I always have so much going on when I am there and she can never fit it in her schedule. I have already texted her letting her know that I will be out this weekend so we will see what happens. If I don't hang out with her, then I am in vegas!

Cheers!

Drugged At The Poop Deck

2008-08-12T10:22:00.001-07:00

I think I was drugged this weekend. I went to Hermosa beach with some friends and we went to a wonderful little establishment known as the Poop Deck. Jim happened to know some people
there that were playing Flip Cup. They invited Jim to play and in turn I was extended an invitation. I can never turn down a friendly game of flip cup. About 20 minutes later when we were leaving the bar I immediately became out of it out of no where. I hadn't drinkin that much and I was gone. I couldn't keep my eyes open, I could barely talk and if I did open my eyes then only 1 of them opened. My friends brushed it off as me being drunk. We took a taxi back to Jim's and when we got back Jim headed right for the bathroom and called earl. I didn't know about this until his phone call to me the next day because I got into his house and went right for bed.

The next day after I got home, I was sick as a dog all day and needless to say, I called earl as well. I never call earl which was weird to me and then it hit me. I think i was drugged! I called Jim and talked with him and he said the same thing, we didn't know what had happened or why we were getting sick and then we realized out of our group, we were the only ones that played flip cup and received random drinks. Damn you!!! Jim and I are convinced something was slipped in our drinks because I have never been that lethargic after drinking and I didn't even drink that much.

I can only think that maybe the drinks we were handed during flip cup were meant for the girls that were playing instead...

Mason Has A Crush

2008-08-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

I was watching Last Comic Standing last night and developed a huge kindergarten crush for Iliza Schlesinger.

If you were wondering what my type was then this is it. I tend to go for the more natural look, not a lot of makeup because I feel that a lot of makeup is false advertising. From watching the show, she has an awesome personality. A sense of humor is key and someone I can laugh with is a huge plus. So if anyone knows Iliza, feel free to let her know that Mason Stanley is single :-)

Ummm.... Don't Tell Me What To Do?

2008-08-07T14:19:00.000-07:00

Cheese came over the other night after I had gotten off work:

Cheese: I have a great idea.

Mason: I am either going to like where this is going or really hate it.

Cheese: It's 7:00, lets get wasted and then go to the comedy show.

It took me a moment to process this thought. Cheese was excited, his girlfriend was home with the baby for the night. This was a night off for him and I can't say no to a new daddy who deserves some fun.

Mason: Don't threaten me with a good time!

That's all it took. We sat at my place drinking for a good 2 hours before heading out to the comedy club.

We got to the show and sat right up front. Needless to say, we weren't exactly sober and the comedians picked up on that right away and had some fun with us.

Sometimes I feel like I may have ESP or psychic abilities or something like that. You know, like when you think about your phone ringing and then it goes off, or you think about someone knocking on your door and then ::knock knock::. I don't know if it was coincidence or my supreme psychic ability but in between comedians I had to use the little boys room. I politely excused myself from the table. While handling my business my phone started to ring. I told you I was a little psychic. I am not above answering my phone in the bathroom so I picked up the call. It was Meesha:

Mason: Hello?

Meesha: What are you doing?

Mason: I'm at the Improv, what's up?

Meesha: What time are you going to be done?

Mason: I don't know around 12 or so.

Meesha: Ok, call me when you are leaving, I wanna come over tonight.

This is where I started thinking of something better I could be doing after rather than hang out with her. Nothing, I got nothing.

Mason: Ummmm, ok. Sounds good to me.

The show ended a little later than I expected and I totally forgot about calling Meesha but count on her to remember. 12:34 I receive her phone call:

Meesha: Are you home yet?

Mason: Oh shoot, I forgot to call you. I am actually leaving right now.

Meesha: Ok, I'll be over in 20.

Mason: See you then.

PPPPEEEYYYYYOOWWWWW!

Lets back log here. At my place if you park you will get towed between 12am and 6am unless you 'Safe list' your car for the night. To do so you enter some information online that gets sent to the people who tow cars and now they won't tow you for that night.

So Cheese and I are sitting in my living room and Meesha walks in:

Meesha: Hey, can you safe list my car?

I was super tired and I was in one of my asshole moods.

Mason: You can, go use my computer upstairs.

Meesha: Oh, ok.

She came back downstairs and Cheese left. We watched a little bit of TV before bed. She saw me starting to fall asleep on the couch so she woke me up and walked me to bed.

The next morning I woke up and went to work leaving her sleeping in my bed. When I got home my bed was made and my room was freshly cleaned. Wowsa, kind of impressive but not at the same time.

Then it hit me! I know why I am bored with this girl. She is too into me! She cleans my room and wants to make me breakfast. Most guys would love a girl that was all about them, one that just wanted to be with them all the time and cook for them and clean. A girl that will come over to your place within 15 minutes of 1 phone call. That's what type of girl this is and that is completely boring to me. It is boring because it's TOO easy and yes there is such a thing. Of course it's fun and all. I'm having fun, she is having fun, but I see this going nowhere beyond that.

I don't know if it's just me but a lot of the girls I meet in my area know me from mutual friends and what not and don't really push back with me. I get away with a lot of stuff that I shouldn't and I still can't figure out why. One of the reasons I was so attracted to Maggie was from the first moment I met her I could sense some fight in her. She would reprimand me for my use of language at the dinner table and wasn't afraid to stand up to me. This was refreshing.Thinking about it now a lot of girls I dated in the past share this quality. I liked that she was able to hang with me on my level. Unlike Meesha who will bend over backwards for me and never think of getting on my case for something I would say to someone else. If I say jump she says how high. That is completely boring for me. I need someone that will push back when I push.

This reminds me of what Mike once said to me after only meeting me a couple times. He has heard me talking to girls during the day and was shocked that I got away with half of what I did and then later that night he said something to me and a few friends that summed it up:

Mike: If I said half of the things you say then I would get slapped in a second. You get away with saying a lot just because you are Mason.

That's it. That's the only way to explain it. I need to start dating girls that don't know me, or my friends, or anyone I know for that matter. I don't want to get away with those things just because "I'm Mason". I am constantly testing limits just waiting for someone to push back.

Back to Meesha. Meesha is a nice girl and to be fair, I am not filling her head with ideas of a relationship or anything of the sort. I will not do that but we'll see how far this goes...

Waiting For The BBD

2008-08-05T11:38:00.000-07:00

I went to the Pepper and Slightly Stoopid show this weekend and it was nothing short of AMAZING. It was my sort of good time. I went with my roommate and one of my good friends Gina. I saw a lot of people at the show I knew and had tons of fun. One of the people I saw at the show was Anna. I hadn't seen her since our weekend in the desert. I saw her a few seats away and she spotted me and ran up to me:

Anna: It's my birthday!!!

Mason: Happy Birthday!!

Anna: Come here!

This is where she grabbed me and started making out with me. Of course I didn't mind this but it was completely unexpected and forward. (Thank you alcohol) Needless to say, she spent most of the show hanging out with us. There was great music and making out, what more can you ask for? When the show ended we were walking towards the parking lot:

Anna: I wanna come home with you, can you give me a ride home in the morning?

Mason: That doesn't sound like too much of a problem.

We were walking hand in hand and before we got outside of the venue one of her friends came running up to her and told her that the limo was picking them up on the other side of the parking lot.

Mason: You have a limo?

Anna: Duhh, it's my birthday!

Mason: Haha, right.

Anna: AWW, I feel bad, I wanted to come home with you but now that I found my friends I can't ditch them.

Mason: Awww, that's fine. It's your birthday and it's still early, go out and party. I'm just going home.

Anna: Ok, but promise we can hang out soon.

Mason: Of course!

With that, she was off and my roommate, Gina and I headed towards the car to go home. Not more than 5 minutes after getting in the car my phone rings. It's Meesha:

Meesha: Hey, I just got off work, what are you doing.

Mason: Just leaving the Pepper show. What's up?

Meesha: Are you going to do anything tonight?

Mason: No, that show took it out of me. I'm just going to go home and be lazy before bed.

Meesha: Can I come over?

Really??? 2 nights in a row? Well, I guess it won't hurt that much. No one likes sleeping alone right?

Mason: Sure, I'll be home in 20 minutes, just walk in.

You guessed it! 20 minutes later on the dot she comes strolling in and without a word hops on the couch with me and gives me her back in the normal spooning position.

I really was tired and found out how tired I was when I woke up on the couch at 4:30am with Meesha still in my arms and my TV on. I wiggled her awake and we went off to bed.

As for Anna, we'll continue with our regular relationship. She'll call me in a week or two and then we will hang out and she will sleep over. This will repeat again in a month or so.

Of course it's nice to have someone sleeping over regularly BUT it's kind of awkward with Meesha because I feel that she is still nervous around me. She is very introverted and quiet. Anyone who knows me knows that this is the opposite of the girls I go for. I'm not settling right now, I know I am just hanging out with her, waiting for the BBD (bigger better deal). We'll see what happens and lets hope I don't lead her on too much.

Fun Is Good

2008-08-04T14:17:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many of you actually follow me on Twitter but this weekend I kind of updated I guess. This weekend was tons of fun and I did a lot. Friday night was a good friend's birthday so we threw a Mexican themed fiesta at my place. There was drinks and a pinata and great times. I got a call around 7 from Meesha and she said she was at work, getting off in a little bit and wanted to hang out. I knew what she was getting at. "Hang out", sure. She wanted to come over and spend the night. I had friends over already getting ready for this fiesta so I just invited her over. She didn't know any of my friends and anyone that knows me knows that I like to test girls and throw them right in the mix with my friends. This girl is no different.

She came over around 8 and joined the party. I introduced her to some people and from then on I didn't have to worry about her. Pretty impressive. She can be social with my friends and I didn't have to worry about the girl knowing no one at my place. She was quick to jump right in with my friends and I saw her randomly throughout the night. I liked the fact that I didn't need to worry about her having a good time or her following me around because she didn't know anyone. I was able to mingle and play host at the same time. Wowsa.

At the end of the night when everyone was leaving and winding down, she grabbed my hand and walked me to my room. DUUUHHHH, I know I was right, she wanted to come over and then sleep over. It was at this point, when we were walking into my room, I was reminded of a conversation that Cheese and I had the week before.

**********::FLASHBACK::**********

Cheese: Dude, you know what I noticed? You are that guy that girls call when they want a rebound.

Mason: What do you mean?

Cheese: You know a lot of girls and when some of them are thinking about guys and they want to get with then you come to mind because you are a nice guy. You are nice, you are funny, you are out going. It's like the girls don't want a relationship they just want someone they can hang out with and hook up with and have a good time with too. You are that guy.

Mason: Haha, really? How did you figure that one out?

Cheese: Look at your track record. All these girls you have been getting with don't go anywhere. They come around occasionally and it's not because you get in fights. Look at the roster: Anna, Anny, Mary, Melanie, and now Meesha. Those are only the girls that I know about and that's only recently. I mean, it's not a bad position to be in, you're having fun being single.

Mason: Wow, I never looked at it that way. You are completely right. Those girls call me occasionally when they wanna hang out and hook up but they aren't booty calls. That's weird. Wow, I am that guy. Hahaha

Cheese: YES! If I was more outgoing I would be that guy too but I just get over it and don't try. You are just social enough to do that.

Mason: Hahaha, sounds good to me. You crack me up.

**********::End Flashback::***********

So now I am walking hand in hand into my room with this girl I have known for years and just recently started talking to again and that conversation hits me. I AM THAT GUY! Wowsa. Do I care? I guess I kind of do but not in a bad way. It's good to be seen as a fun guy right? I am enjoying being single but lets face it, everyone has needs, I am no different. I just consider myself lucky then, I am able to "have fun" with these "friends" and hang out and have my slumber parties at the same time. I have fun, they have fun, we all have fun so why look at this as a bad thing? Last time I checked, fun is good.

Blast From The Past

2008-07-30T10:36:00.000-07:00

In a weird turn of events, last week I had a friend write me on myspace that I haven't talked to in about a year. She wrote me a simple message and told me she missed me and we should hang out soon. I told her that she had my number and she knew how to use it to her advantage. I hate it when girls say that they miss me and want to hang out and take absolutely zero steps to make that happen. Surprisingly, the next day I received a phone call from her at 2am.

Meesha: Hey dork, call me back, I want to hang out

Really? It's 2am and you are calling me to "hang out". I sense booty call. Did I mention that this girl, Meesha, and I used to make out about 4 years ago?

I texted her the next day after the message just to let her know she was awesome for calling me at 2am to hang out.

Mason: Sweetie, you have to call me earlier if you want to hang out, 2am doesn't work for me when I'm sleeping. If I'm out then that may be a different story.

She said she wanted to hang out the next day but I was off to Canada. I talked to her when I got back and we made plans to hang out on Friday night when I'm throwing a surprise party for a friend. She ended up calling me from work on a Tuesday at around 8.

Meesha: Hey, what are you doing?

Mason: Just got home. I have no roommate until tomorrow so this is the only day I get to clean

Meesha: Oh fun. Well I'm at work right now, I get off between 9:30 and 10:00. I want to hang out. I am going to come over and we are going to hang out.

Mason: Haha, is that a promise or a threat?

Meesha: Ummm, it's a promise. I'll call you when I'm off.

Sure enough, 10 on the dot my phone rang.

Meesha: I'm off, how do I get to your place?

I gave her directions and 45 minutes later she was at my place. She actually looked better than I remember but I still was unsure about the out of the blue message and calls.

We hung out for a bit at my place and had a couple drinks while watching movies and out of no where she is making out with me. She was very forward and lets just say she didn't make it home last night and as I sit here typing this she is still sleeping in my bed. I don't know what is going to happen with this one but I guess we'll see.

I'm Back!!!

2008-07-29T10:48:00.000-07:00

I just got back into town yesterday. Where did I go you ask? I went Canada to visit my sister and her boyfriend. I stayed with Maggie since she lives right around the corner from my sister. I had a wonderful weekend, I experienced Canada for the first time and that was interesting enough.

Before I left for the trip I knew I would be staying with Maggie but I was starting to have second thoughts. I didn't know if things would be the same since I hadn't really seen her in so long. I think that distance makes people grow apart and it was apparent for me but not for her. When I got there it seemed like we picked up right where we left off. She showed me around the city and took me places and showed me Canada.

Canada was very interesting and just made me realize how much I like home. There really isn't that many highlights from the trip. It was me being shown around by my personal tour guides and just taking everything in. Maggie and I spent a lot of alone time together. This reassured the fact that I can't take too much of one person. It's not that I don't like her, I do, but I can't take too much of one person. I need some time to myself every once in a while, whether it be with other people or alone. After 4 days I was ready to go home and was very much looking forward to it.

The highlight of the trip is when I met Bella. Bella is my step sister's daughter. Bella is 3 years old and probably one of the cutest kids ever. I was her escort back to the states and she is now staying with my father and his girlfriend for a little over a month. She was tons of fun to hang out with and we are going to Amanda's son's birthday party next week together.

More to come, as for now, I'm too pooped and jet lagged to think straight.

100 Reasons Why You Should Date Me

2008-07-22T13:56:00.000-07:00

1. I know how to cook
2. We can stay up all night until we get the giggles
3. You won't have to worry about driving illegally in the carpool lane
4. I'm a Taurus
5. I don't like feet
6. I'll think your feet are cute
7. I will put a blanket over you when you fall asleep watching tv
8. I will bring you chicken noodle soup even when you're not feeling sick
9. I do my own laundry
10. We'll bring a whole new meaning to the word 'cuddle'
11. I won't drive fast with you in the car
12. I don't mind leaving places early if you want to
13. I know how to give a massage correctly
14. I will never go more than a few hours without responding to a text
15. I will answer my phone as much as I can when you call.
16. I don't mind if you go out with your girls, in fact I like it when you do because you have fun.
17. I won't go through your phone
18. I don't need to know who calls you
19. I like that I am able to make you laugh
20. I won't swear around your family
21. I'll think it's cute when you get too drunk
22. I don't mind kissing you in front of my friends
23. We can hold hands in public
24. I'll save your name in my phone as "My Baby"
25. I won't deny it to my friends
26. The only time I will check out girls is when I'm thinking of all the reasons why you are better.
27. I don't have to talk to make you laugh
28. You can change the music when I'm driving
29. Every song on the mix CD's I make for you remind me of you
30. I can get along with your friends' boyfriends
31. I like your friends too
32. I can wake you up in the morning for work
33. We can spend lazy days sleeping in
34. I don't mind cleaning
35. I clean up after myself
36. I know all the secret romantic spots
37. I don't own any porn
38. I don't like going to strip clubs
39. Our weekend getaways will be amazing
40. I'll parallel park your car for you
41. I won't giggle when you scrape your tires on the curb while parallel parking.
42. I can make an awesome breakfast
43. I try to fall asleep before you so I can wake up early to have breakfast ready when you wake up
44. I won't forget your birthday
45. I'll remind you when my birthday is
46. We can watch your movie first
47. I think it's cute that you cry at the end of chick flicks
48. I know how to have a conversation
49. I will stop and ask for directions
50. I text you in the mornings when I wake up
51. I like to send you flowers just because it's Wednesday
52. I don't stop thinking of ways to try to surprise you
53. I think it's cute when you are scared
54. We can visit your family every week
55. I don't mind going to see chick flicks with you
56. I'll read your horoscope everyday
57. I don't expect you to know where I left my car keys
58. I won't leave my clothes lying around
59. I always put the cap back on the toothpaste
60. I know ho to put the seat back down
61. I like it when you come and visit me at work
62. I'll drive carefully with you because I have "precious cargo" on board
63. You can wear my boxers
64. We can trade pillows because your pillow smells like you
65. I shower everyday
66. I can drive your car for you
67. I know how to drive a manual
68. I'll keep a picture of us in front of my odometer in my car
69. I will try to fix your car when it breaks
70. I will write you songs
71. You're the only one that I will play the songs I write for
72. I won't take you for granted
73. I can prove that not all guys are assholes
74. My family will like you just as much as I do
75. I'm not jealous that you have guy friends
76. I will happily introduce you to anyone that I know
77. I sleep on the left side of the bed
78. It only takes me 5 minutes to get ready. 10 if I have to shave
79. I don't mind waiting when you are getting ready
80. I will be your designated driver whenever you want to drink
81. I'll get you your favorite drink before you can order it
82. I don't mind eating a veggie burger
83. I enjoy the beach at night
84. I don't hate country music
85. I think it's cute when you sing in the car
86. You can have the remote whenever you want
87. I won't know how to get mad at you
88. I am funny
89. We can play McDonald's Monopoly and it will be our little secret
90. A bottle of wine, a medium pizza and a movie is a perfect night for us
91. You can borrow my clothes
92. I don't mind going shopping with you
93. I will always say "yes" when you ask if your hair looks good
94. I will make bets with you for a kiss and lose on purpose
95. I will let you win when we play pool
96. I'll remember your favorite band and take you to see them when they are in town
97. I won't fart around you
98. I will give you my myspace and email passwords
99. I can fix your car stereo if it breaks
100. After reading this far you already have time invested, might as well email leave a comment or email me ;-)

-Mason

If It's Myspace And It's Your Space, Isn't It Our Space?

2008-07-21T10:22:00.000-07:00

After the last post I ended up going to LA for the night. I never called Anny and Melanie never called me. I guess she patched things up with her boy toy.

Anyways, LA wasn't too exciting so instead of boring you with the story of how nothing happened last night I think it would be a great idea to explore my courting of years ago.

I used to work in a call center where I had the internet and A LOT of downtime. For a while, I spent a lot of that time on Myspace meeting girls. True story, I used to meet girls off myspace while at work and I used to do it often. I was actually pretty good at it and dated a few girls regularly after meeting them on myspace. The following are the actual conversations I had with the girls that I copied and pasted. These read from the bottom up and my comments are in bold:

hell yeah it is.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
3:59 PM

ok sounds exciting.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
3:55 PM

ok..dont know if i'll be on then though...need to go to work and find out when i work and the bank and then study or a test and stuff.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
3:54 PM

ok i'll do it when when i get home i get off work in 10 min.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
3:51 PM

well you wont add me till we get to know each other or whatever...so...its ok with me.
my aim is
XXXXXX
if you ever wanna im me instead of messaging on here.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
3:48 PM

ok?? that's it just ok??? cmon give me something more to work with besides "ok"

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
3:47 PM

haha ok

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
3:44 PM

i normally don't accept people i don't know, that is why i have to do the whole get to know you thing before i accept you, oh and i have hung out with everyone on my friends list so that is mandatory too.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
3:43 PM

well...you could accept me..heh

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
3:39 PM

oh i c well this went way past the "hey, what's up" thing. and it is up to you how far you wanna take it.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
3:37 PM

lol...well...not exactly (that ive done this). yeah..I'll message people and say hi and stuff, but it usually never goes past, hey..whats up or whatever.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
3:35 PM

so you have done this before? i thought i was special..... :(

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
3:34 PM

yeah...possibly.
I only do if they like me too.
so probably not.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
3:32 PM

wow how vague was that? so does that mean you will be hitting on me?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
3:29 PM

maybe...maybe not..

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
3:28 PM

well if i did then i would have to deal with you hitting on me all the time.

(I love this play full banter, it puts me in control and in a sense almost gets her chasing me)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
3:26 PM

haha. think about it eh? I think you just might have to.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
3:26 PM

HI. thank you for saving me, i am so bored at work. entertain me and i'll think about adding you to my friends list.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
3:23 PM

hi

I hung out with this girl a couple times and then she turned out to be a complete weirdo so I stopped answering her calls.

***********************************************************************************

awesome...have a good night! =)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 4:00 PM

oh wow you can cook??? that is impressive. COOK FOR ME :) well it is quitting time, i'll be back tomorrow 7-4 yay, you can keep me busy tomorrow.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 3:47 PM

yeah im basically a taxi driver and a cook. =) i love "the oc". its absolutely amazing.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 3:27 PM

wow kids that age watch themselves, how fun for you. how do you like "the oc" so far???

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 3:23 PM

11 and 14 and the 11 year old is here every other week.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 1:27 PM

oh how fun..... how old are the kids that you watch?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 1:22 PM

oh i see.. um to answer your question. i do "work" everyday, but its not like work work. im free everyday until 2.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 1:05 PM

i do but not at work. we're not supposed to be on the internet but i got around it.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 12:59 PM

do you have aim?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 12:58 PM

oh that's cool, since you luve in the house does that mean you work everyday?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 12:51 PM

i dont have friends in laguna yet. i've only been here 1 day! =) i do have friends near by though.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 12:48 PM

thta's cool, so you don't have any friends here??? have you met people yet???

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 12:43 PM

i didnt know the family. they found me on an au pair website. theyre really awesome though, im lucky. your not asking too many questions.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 10:55 AM

did you know the fgamily before you flew out?? or were they randoms??? let me know if i am asking too many questions.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 10:49 AM

my car is in louisiana, but i do have a vehicle here. intersting huh. youre telling me...i've never been an au pair before.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 10:43 AM

do you have a car here? or do you drive theirs? i have never met an au pair before this is interesting.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 10:42 AM

well today im going get a cell phone and basically just feeling my home out. im not really sure what i can or cant do b/c i dont know what my job is yet.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 10:36 AM

saddleback is fun! so you just moved to laguna yesterday, what else do you have planned?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 10:33 AM

saddleback!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 10:30 AM

i am going to saddleback, i went after highschool, but then i lost my liscence and had to take a couple semesters off, but i got my liscence back in march so i am going back next semester. where are you going???

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 10:26 AM

an au pair is like a nanny. im starting school in the spring. what school do you go to?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 10:21 AM

how exciting, what is an au pair? i work full time right now and i am going to start taking classes next semester. are you going to school?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 10:16 AM

nope, i dont have any friends in laguna. i moved here for a job. im an au pair, living with a great family. are u in school?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 10:11 AM

yesterday?? how exciting, do you have friends here??? Did you move with your family.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 10:01 AM

nope...i moved to laguna beach yesterday.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 8:33 AM

rsm/mission viejo.... aren't you in louisiana?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 9:30 AM

mapquesting places...what city do u live in?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 9:28 AM

i am being bored at work, what are you doing?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 9:24 AM

yeah thanks....what are you doing.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 9:03 AM

oh wow good answer.....

(I thought she was just being bitchy and rejecting me here so I sent this message and didn't think she would respond.)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G1
Date: 7:58 AM

in louisiana =)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: mason
Date: 8:55 AM

where have you been all my life?

(True story, this was the first message I sent)

Ahhh, I miss this girl. I met her on myspace and we dated for a couple months. This was while I was also hanging out with the ex before the ex and I were anything. I dated her and my ex at the same time and then chose the ex. I still consider this girl as the one who got away. She was such a big sweetheart and I had a lot of fun with her.

************************************************************************************

do u have aim?

(from here we talked on aim a lot and then I got caught up dating the girl from Louisiana and the ex so I stopped talking to her. She was a witty girl which I liked but I had my hands full with 2 girls already.)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 2:57 PM

well all my friends are very friendly, but if that is not your thing then you let me know what you want to do.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 2:51 PM

id feel weird showin up at someones house with a friend or something with a bunch of people i dont know..
surprising as it may seem, im kinda shy =)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 2:39 PM

ok i'm on it MXXXX, then this weekend my buddy is having people over on fri night and you are more than welcome to come join in on the festivities.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 2:34 PM

makes sense.. so get on it Mason

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 1:11 PM

because i think the internet is a horrible way to get to know a person, and what is the point of waiting around if you aren't going to give anyone a chance?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 12:52 PM

lol ud have to talk to me first.. besides why do u wanna hang out with me.. jjust bc u think im cute?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 12:51 PM

so that means it worked, now when do we hang out?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 12:49 PM

hehe now that made me smile. good ..)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 12:40 PM

if you took 11 roses and stood in front of a mirror you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 12:38 PM

lol try again, not a good ..)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 12:32 PM

if you were a booger i'd pick you first

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 12:25 PM

ask ur coworkers and ill let ya know if it works lol

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 12:21 PM

wow, so what would be an effective pick up line with you?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 11:30 AM

haha then the guys at work dont know me.. and i dont mind waiting =)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 11:17 AM

really? i have never heard that one before. well you are never going to meet a good guy just "waiting" to be picked up on.

oh and i took a poll and the guys at work said that was a pick up line :)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 11:13 AM

i dont pick up on boys =) They are supposed to pick up on me.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 11:09 AM

are you sure??? because i could have sworn that could have been interpreted as a pick up line.

(I liked to turn the tables and establish the fact that the girl would be hitting on me. It set a fun mindset and allowed me to say a little more without being too forward.)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 11:06 AM

oh nothing..

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 11:04 AM

oh i see, so what are you trying to say?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 11:03 AM

um close to where i live.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 10:58 AM

close to what?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 10:45 AM

haha you're silly.. but at least you live close.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 7:25 AM

i live in XXXXX, I already figured that out i just want you to say what both of us are thinking.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 10:36 PM

really cute name.. Mason - i like it.. im MXXXX - and ure a big boy u can figure that one out =)

Where do u live?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 10:01 PM

and how do i go about doing that?

i'm Mason by the way

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 4:08 PM

haha no you need to change that.. =)

i'm MXXXX by the way

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 4:04 PM

well you have obviously not been in the right places yet because you have never hung out with me.... you need to change that.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 3:53 PM

hehe i dunno.. where do u want me to be lol ?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 12:23 PM

where have you been all my life?

(This was sort of my line)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: G2
Date: 12:19 PM

hey

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mason
Date: 12:17 PM

HI

Ahhh, yesss. So much fun to reminisce of my days of myspace meetings...

I Am That Guy

2008-07-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

I got a text from Melanie this week which was completely random. Melanie and I have been friends for almost 9 years now. We dated for 2 weeks almost a year ago. We didn't talk for a little bit after that and then we did and then we didn't. I know, I know. My relationship with her even confuses me. Our relationship kind of evolved after we dated. Now when we hang out she acts as if we are together (Holding hands, always around me, pays for me, etc...) which is fine occasionally but not something I can handle regularly.

Anyways, she texts me. She said she misses me and we need to hang out. I haven't seen her in a couple months so the invitation is welcoming. If you didn't notice by now then let me clear things up. I get bored with girls VERY easily. Most I can take only in small doses but then there are a few whom I have come to adore and never get sick of and that is how I know I actually really like that person. I was curious after she texted me so I went on Myspace to see what's new with her. Nothing really seemed to be new with her but something did jump out at me. She has a boyfriend! This was a new addition and it confused the poop outta me and then it hit me! I am 'that guy'. I am that guy she can call when she is fighting with her boyfriend. I am that guy she can call when she breaks up with someone because we have that history and we can just hang out and pick up where we left off. She isn't even a booty call either because we do hang out and we do have fun together and it isn't just sex even though there is enough of that. Do I mind? Of course I mind. I don't want to be seen as 'that guy'. I did it to myself, I know I don't want to be in a relationship (with her). VERY common guy code right there. "I don't want a relationship" means, "I don't want a relationship with [insert person here]" I do have fun with her though and I am not the greatest guy because I do not call everyday or every other day or whatever the rule is nowadays after you sleep with someone. On the other hand, I made my point and I am honest with her and she isn't stuck wondering what I want or what I don't.

Ramble ramble ramble... Point is, the only reason I can think of that she would randomly contact me and want to hang out after I just saw her myspace plastered with pictures of her and the nine-ball she is dating is that they are fighting and or breaking up. Getting to the point, I texted her early Friday night and asked what she was doing. She didn't respond at all. I'm not one to harp over someone or call or text more than once, I have better things to do. I'm just going to sit back and wait for her to contact me again.

On another note, I went out last night and over indulged. I got a call at 2:15am from Anny. She wanted to hang out. We were both in no position to even be talking on a phone after all the alcohol consumption from the night. The conversation ended when we both realized that we both weren't able to drive. I fell asleep on my couch... alone.

I woke up to a text from Anny that she sent at 2:39am, "We both are in no shape to be driving tonight sweetness. Call me tomorrow night."

Hmmm, to call or not to call...

I'm On Single Edition!

2008-07-15T14:41:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone!! I recently did an interview for SingleEdition.com.

Click HERE to check it out!

Spontaneity At Its Finest

2008-07-14T12:09:00.000-07:00

Friday night Kerri, Amanda, Amy, and I drove up to LA to visit Jim. It was an estrogen fest on the way to LA. I got to hear about how Kerri was excited to be off her period for the weekend so she can sleep with Jim. SUPER EXCITING STUFF!!! I also got to hear that Amy wanted to meet a boy but we weren't allowed to let her bring an ugly boy back. Amanda was driving and we were able to rock out to Katy Perry with all 3 girls singing along the entire way to LA. To top it off I had to pee the entire time but didn't want to say anything because it would be a half an hour ordeal with 3 girls going to the bathroom too. I stuck it out the whole way.

We were originally supposed to go to a Secondhand Serenade show but on the way to LA Jim had texted me and told me that we weren't able to secure tickets so we would just go out for the night.

We hung out at Jim's for a bit and drank there before we called the taxi to go to Hermosa Beach. We went to an area right on the beach that is lined with bars. We ended up going to a place called the Poop Deck. This place was a sausage fest and walking in with Amanda, Amy and Kerri made us the center of attention. This is a little dive bar and the moment we walked in everyone looked at the girls as we made our way to the patio.

The night was full of drinking and talking with strangers, there were no girls there so Jim and I hung out with our girls the entire time. We did meet A LOT of guys because they would not stop approaching and talking to the girls. It was quite humorous. Lets fast forward to the fun and interesting parts of the night.

Amy met a guy (weird) and as we were leaving she grabs his hand and we all start walking to hail a taxi. We get a taxi as Amy and her new boyfriend are hand in hand with 2 of his friends following him. Amy gets in the cab first and then I am right behind her to get in as her new boy toy is making arrangements with his friends to meet them later. I look at Amy:

Amy: He is going to come with us.

(I remember what Amy said about not letting her bring home any bad looking boys. I didn't know if this guy was good looking or not but he was wearing New Balances)

Mason: No he is not (With a stern look as if to say, 'remember what you told me earlier?')

Amy: Yes he is. (with a look as if she was going to bite my head off)

Mason: Ok, it's your funeral

We all boarded the cab and off to Jim's house we were. The cab ride home was basically a blur of Jim trying to get to know Amy's new boyfriend which was quite entertaining.

Jim: I'll give you a ride home in the morning, where do you live?

NB: I live in Palos Verdes

Jim: Oh shit, never mind. You're gunna have to give me gas money for that one.

NB: I can have a friend pick me up

Jim: That would be good, I don't wanna drive that far.

We all got back to the house and ended the night with a drink. I made sure all night not to be too forward with Amanda and to not give her too much attention either. That's the last thing anyone wants is someone all over them. I did a dandy job if I do say so myself. I didn't ignore her but then again I made no effort to be around her or give her more attention than anyone else.

Kerri and Jim run upstairs for some night time acrobatics, Amy snuggles on a down stairs couch with her new boyfriend and I proceed pulled out the bed in the couch and hopped in. No more than 5 minutes later, Amanda jumped in on the other side of the bed. This was a surprise, until that point I never really thought about where she was going to sleep but if it's next to me then I'm ok with that. This is where it gets good.

Now picture this, we are both laying in this pull out couch bed, in the dark, alone in a living room, on our backs staring at the ceiling listening to Kerri moaning from upstairs. Suddenly your hero (me), summons some of that liquid courage he had been consuming all night and the following conversation follows:

Mason: Hey Amanda.

Amanda: What.

Mason: I think we should be making out

Amanda: I don't think so.

What!?!?! Did that just happen?

(5 minutes later)

Mason: Hey Amanda.

Amanda: Yes?

Mason: I think it's a good idea to make out

Amanda: I don't, I'm tired

Mason: Oh ya, me too.

AGAIN?!?!?!? I wasn't about to try for #3 before I fell asleep

GO ME!! Only I can get rejected with such grace and then laugh about it the next day.

We all woke up and Amy's new boyfriend called a friend to pick him up whom I gave directions to. After he left we all had a great laugh at his level of gooberness and his New Balances. Amy swore nothing happened but only her and that boy will ever know. She said she fell asleep. She also got mad at us for letting her bring that guy back. I reminded her how I almost got my face bitten off by her the night before and that her mistake was all her fault.

After that guy left we all hung out in Jim's room and laughed about Amy's new boyfriend from the night before. Somehow the conversation turned and Jim asked me to go with him to Santa Barbara. The only stuff I had with me was the clothes on my back, the cash in my wallet and a dead cell phone in my pocket. I was into the idea in a second. The girls headed downstairs as Jim and I plotted a way to not take them with us since I came up with them. It's not that we didn't like the girls. Don't get me wrong, the girls are lots of fun to hang out with and have around. We just wanted to make it a boys trip for the fact that we were going to meet up with some guys we haven't seen in a few years.

We devised the plan. Jim would tell the girls he was taking me to a show and it was sold out. I would then tell them that Jim's brother was giving me a ride home from LA on his way home from Santa Barbara. It was genius. We put the plan into action 5 minutes later and it worked. 15 minutes later the girls were leaving and Jim and I were off to the mall so I could buy some new clothes for that night.

After shopping, we hit the road and we were off. We got to Santa Barbara around 6:30 and met up with the boys. The house we were staying in was literally on the beach. It was gorgeous. When you walk on the back patio, all you can see is ocean. We watched the sunset there while drinking some beer and getting ready for the night.

Jim's little brother was the instigator of many shots before we went out. Jim's brother and I went to a party about a block away from the house I was staying in. It was a tiki themed party and felt like a Hawaiian luau. It was a lot of fun and there were a lot of people there. Jim's brother and I were talking when 2 girls were walking by us.

Jim's brother: There she is!

Girl 1: Who?

Jim's brother: You!

Girl 1: What are you talking about?

Jim's brother: I have been looking for you all night!

Girl 1: Aww, you're cute but I think you have the wrong girl

Jim's brother: Well then lets forget about her and start on you, I think I'm going to like you better.

Girl 1: Hehe, what's your name?

While this was going on I was with the friend:

Mason: What are you doing walking by without saying hi?

Girl 2: Oh, I'm sorry. Who lives here?

Jim's brother: I do, you're welcome to stay. (He didn't live there)

Mason: OMG! You have an accent, are you really Irish?

Girl 2: Yes I am.

Mason: So that means you can drink huh

Girl 2: Of course, her and I finished a bottle of whiskey before we came out.

Mason: That's sexy!

From here there was very little small talk before I realized her and I were making out and her friend was making out with Jim's brother. This is when I realized that all the shots that Jim's brother had given me had caught up to me and I was in no position to try to put words together so I left most of the talking up to Jim's brother.

The party was winding down so we went back to the house we were staying at and all 4 of us went up on the roof and looked out over the ocean. The view was amazing from the roof of the house. We brought some blankets up with us and made out until the girls had to be back home.

We walked the girls to the door and said our goodbyes. I didn't bother exchanging numbers for the mere fact that they live in Ireland and are spending a summer in a place that I have been to once before. I walked back into the house curled up in my bed I made and passed out.

I woke up the next morning and couldn't find Jim. I called him and he answered the phone as if he had just woken up. Well he did just wake up and he woke up in his own bed. It turns out that in the middle of the night, Jim couldn't find us so he drove home. He drove an hour and a half in the middle of the night drunk. I let him know how big of a moron he was. We all packed into Jim's brother's car for the ride home and we were gone.

I love the fact that Thursday I had no plans for the weekend and I end up getting rejected in LA and then making out with an Irish girl in Santa Barbara. Ahhh... the perks of spontaneity...

Lets Make This Awkward

2008-07-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

Last night Kerri and Amy were over to hang out and be mellow. We started talking and since Kerri has the biggest mouth ever she informed my roommate and me that Amy had slept with Jim's little brother (he recently beat cancer at the age of 19) the weekend before. GO AMY! This came as humor to me for the mere fact that Jim was sexin up Kerri at the same time in the same house. I am friends with a bunch of hornballs that get drunk and make mistakes. In their defense, I have to say that they are some of the coolest hornballs ever!

While the girls were over I got a call from Jim. Jim works for one of the top companies in the music industry in LA. With his job he has a lot of connections and perks and as his friend I get to ride those coat tails. So anyways, he calls me when I am talking with Kerri:

Jim: What are you doing tomorrow night?

Mason: I don't know, I was talking to Kerri and we were talking about coming up to LA to hang out with you for the night.

Jim: Man! I gotta stop sleeping with her

(I glance at Kerri and start busting up laughing hoping she didn't hear what Jim just said.)

Mason: HAHAHAHA

Kerri: What?! What!? I wanna talk to Jim!

Jim: Who is that in the background

Mason: That is Kerri

Jim: [silence]....... Ummm, did I just fuck myself?

Mason: I don't think so. You are good to go.

Jim: Oh good. Anyways, there is a Secondhand Serenade show tomorrow in LA and no one really wants to go from my work so I can probably get me and you each on the list with a +1 for the show with all the VIP passes and stuff

Mason: REALLY!?!? Awesome! I am so down! So we each have a +1 which means we can bring the girls right?

Jim: Ya, who all wants to come tomorrow?

Mason: I thought it was just Kerri and I but Kerri invited Amy and Amanda so it's gunna be all of us.

Jim: Ok cool, it's not for sure yet but we can hang out in town if you come up and we don't go to the show. That means someone will have to buy a ticket.

Mason: Sounds good to me, I'll relay the info.

REALLY!!??!! I love Secondhand Serenade. He may be a little bit whiney for some but he is an amazing artist.

So now I am going to LA for the night and sleeping in the same house as Amanda and Amy. Kerri is going to be sleeping with Jim because that's all she has been talking about for the past 2 days and I haven't talked to Amanda since Sunday. I am super curious to see how things are going to pan out after the events of last weekend. I can't help but ask myself what alcohol induced act of stupidity will come of this trip. Lets see what I can get myself into...

Oh and then Sat is the annual "Moon The Amtrak Day", which I will proudly be participating in. It is a real day, Check it out!

Confusion Is Rough

2008-07-08T13:31:00.000-07:00

I got off work on Thursday and met up with Dan, Jim and Mike. Dan had picked up Mike from the airport and we all met at my place. We were heading down to Pacific Beach in San Diego for the weekend. I exchanged texts with Amanda throughout the day and the plan was that I was heading down to San Diego with the boys on Thursday night and her, Kerri, and Amy were going to come down and meet us on Friday during the day and then we were all going to stay at Kerri's brother's place down there.

Thursday night was eventful, we went out with some friends down there, went to a bar, got drunk, came home, passed out. That was pretty much it. The main event was on the 4th which was the next day, Friday. I was woken up at 7:30am by Mike.

Mike: Wake up, here, take this
Mason: What? Dude, what are you doing up so early
Mike: Happy 4th of July, time to party
(I looked up from my sleeping bag on the floor and Mike is holding a shot glass in his hand that was full of southern comfort)
Mason: You know I hate you right?
(As I stood up and grabbed the shot glass and drank the first shot of the day)
Mike: I'm on vacation, we're in California, lets party!
Mason: Let me get my trunks on

At this point, the living room full of people started waking up. One of the guys in the house had gone to McDonalds and picked up sausage McMuffins for everyone. This would be the first and last thing I eat all day.

It is now 7:45 in the morning and I realize that I woke up still drunk. The following is the time line of the rest of the day.

7:45am- Shots with Mike at the house.

7:50am- Walk to my car with Mike to get the walkie talkies

8:05am- Another shot with Mike and this one we talk Dan into

8:15am- I get handed a beer by the owner of the house, I think to myself that this day is not going to slow down so I will embrace it.

8:45am- Everyone is done getting showered and almost ready to go to the beach

9:00am- I realize I didn't want to wake up that early but there is nothing I can do about it now. Mike and I talk more people into taking shots with us

9:30am- Everyone is just about ready so we gather and start walking to the beach

10:00am- We get a spot on the beach and lay our stuff down. Mike and I take another shot and then head near the water to throw the frisbee

10:05am- The frisbee is getting old so Mike and I think it's a good idea to go to a bar.

10:10am- After successfully talking no one into coming to the bars with us we start walking.

10:35am- We get to a bar and we are informed that the bar doesn't open until 11am

10:36am- The bar owner looks at Mike and lets him know that he is not coming into his bar without a shirt

10:37am- We walk back to the beach to get all of Mike's stuff

10:55am- Mike and I start gathering our stuff to go to the bar. Mike talks me into taking another shot.

11:20am- We walk into a bar and order a few beers. I am feeling good and not happy that it is overcast. I call Amanda and Kerri and they are still coming but haven't left yet.

11:45am- Some of our friends from the beach meet us at the bar and we all have some beers.

12:10pm- Leave the bar and go hang out on the beach for a little.

12:30pm- I get a call from a friend who invites us to a party down the road, I relay the message and we are good to go

1:05pm- We arrive at the party and there is free beer, lots of people having a great time and a DJ.

1:06pm- I remind Dan and Mike how much I love free beer.

1:07pm- I start mingling at the party and start meeting a lot of girls as to which I can't remember any of their names. I remind them that I am not good with names and they forgive me.

1:30pm- I can't find Dan or Mike. I called Kerri and they are at her brother's place hanging out.

1:35pm- I find Dan, he tells me that he was at the beach trying to meet girls and that Mike is at the beach with some girl he met at the party and they are sucking face.

1:40pm- They shut off the music because cops are in front of the house. I look behind me and there are lots of cops watching us drink in the front yard of this place. I look at a new friend and start singing... "Oh say can you seee!!!" This catches on with him and by, "What so proudly we hailed..." The ENTIRE party was singing. There was about 100 people singing the national anthem and all the cops could do was watch.

1:55pm- After some talking, the party got broken up and everyone was kicked out. We took this as our cue to leave.

2:05pm- Far from sober, Dan, Mike and I get in a taxi heading for Kerri's brother place.

2:25pm- We get to Kerri's brother's place and Amy, Amanda and Kerri are all sitting there taking shots of jagermeister. We greet the girls and I am super excited to see Amanda.

2:30pm- Mike and I indulge in some of the jagermeister

2:40pm- We decide to go swimming in the pool in the brother's complex.

2:45pm- I am in the pool with mike drinking a beer. I remind Mike that we still have a lot more to do on this day.

3:15pm- Time to leave the pool and go back to Kerri's Brother's.

3:20pm- We all dry off and have another shot of jagermeister before leaving.

3:30pm- We are walking the street looking for a cab to take to Kerri's friend's party.

3:32pm- Cabs are called and we are off.

3:45pm- We arrive at the party and there is more free beer. I inform Mike and him and I run to grab us some free beer.

4:15pm- Kerri's friend and her friend's sister want to take us to another house. We are down for anything so we get another cab.

4:30pm- We get to the next house and now there is no one here. Mike decides it's time to take a nap. He passes out on the couch. I stay with everyone outside and talk and drink some more free beer that was at this house.

4:45pm- Amanda is now talking with some other guy and has been for a while, I am drunk but don't want to seem clingy so I decide it is a good idea to flirt with Amy.

5:15pm- The girls want to go so we can get ready for the night. I am over joyed.

5:17pm- I slap Mike across the face and tell him to wake up because we have to go drink more.

5:18pm- Mike is wide awake asking where the beer is.

5:22pm- We start walking to the house we stayed at the night before to meet up with friends before getting ready to go out.

5:45pm- We get to the house and everyone was already there and drinking.

5:47pm- Took a shot with Mike before jumping into the festivities.

8:30pm- Decide to grab everyone together and start walking to a bar.

9:15pm- Actually start walking to the bars.

10:00pm- We arrive at the bar and get right in. We find a nice couch inside and get some drinks.

10:15pm- I grab Mike and tell him how proud I am of him for actually keeping up for the day.

10:30pm- One of the girls in our groups starts crying over boy issues so Kerri and I are recruited to diffuse the situation. Kerri and I tag team and help out the friend.

11:15pm- I realize I haven't talked to Amanda in a while. I found her eating a pizza at the bar with some of my friends. Everything is blurry and I am still confused why I haven't received any vibes from her.

12:00am- I am outside enjoying the patio with Jim who I have hardly seen all day. He tells me how he is going to hook up with Kerri. I tell him good luck. He asks me for a condom and I can't help him out.

12:30am- I Mike and I realize we haven't eaten all day after stumbling upon Amanda taking her last bite of pizza. We decide it is too late to get food so we just have another beer instead.

1:00am- Dan, Mike, Kerri, Amanda, Jim, and I decide we should start walking back to Kerri's brother's place.

1:30am- We pass an Albertsons on the way there and Jim runs inside and comes out with 2 18 packs of beer.

1:36am- We realize Jim is a smart man

1:50am- We get back to Kerri's Brother's place and Jim hands out the beers.

2:00am- Mike is passed out on the floor of the house with a pool ball in his hand that he stole from a bar.

2:15am- We are all sitting around and drinking.

3:00am- Kerri grabs the remote and decides to change the channel.

3:30am- I am sitting on a the couch next to Amanda. Kerri, Amy and Jim are sitting on the other couch. Dan and Mike are passed out on the floor.

3:36am- My eyes start to flutter and I am about to fall asleep.

3:45am- Kerri breaks into her brother's roommate's room and tells me I can sleep in it.

3:47am- My head hits the pillow and it feels good.

3:48am- I realize I left my beer in the other room so I need to get up to get it.

3:50am- Amanda says she is going to bed and runs into the roommate's room.

3:55am- Kerri tells me to sleep on the couch.

3:56am I realized what just happened. Not only did I not get the bed anymore but at some point I effed up with Amanda.

3:58am- I sit on the couch and try to think but then realize I have been drinking since 7:30am and thinking would be next to impossible at this point.

4:05am- Kerri and Jim go to bed and leave Amy and I on the couches and Dan and Mike on the floor.

4:06am- I pass out

So that was basically how I spent my 4th of July, there are lots of rough patches where I don't remember much but at least it's not as bad as SO@24's 4th of July. I held my alcohol like a champ.

On the other hand, at some point where I initially met up with Amanda until the end of the night I messed something up. I know for a fact it was alcohol induced but I don't know what. I was probably an asshole and that is what I need to figure out.

The next morning Amanda and I walked to Jack in The Box and got breakfast for everyone. I paid for everyone's breakfast because I am a super nice guy. I don't know what happened or what went wrong but she was nice and receptive in the morning. We texted the other day but nothing much, I don't know what happened but it's just not the same like it used to be. She isn't as receptive and I don't feel the same way. Maybe she found out about Amy? That was so long ago though. Maybe Kerri said something to her? I don't know. What I do know is that I am no longer smitten anymore and it is purely based on the way she is acting. Weird I know but hey, I'm a guy and I reserve the right to think that I may have had a wrong first impression.

Day 2?

2008-07-03T10:31:00.000-07:00

These posts are getting closer and closer together just because of the mere fact that I have been lazy. To recap real quick, I met Amanda a couple weeks ago and her and I have been texting back and forth and I am smitten. Krissy ate my face last week but nothing has come of that so far. I spent the a night in the desert with Anna. That leads me to the following events.

Amanda and I have been texting back and forth very frequently. From talking about our wedding plans (which is going to be at hooters with the hooters colors and we are going to serve coors light and wings) to just small talk and the occasional "good night". She has 2 kids and I promised her I would show her a good time for the 4th of July because I was already planning on getting away (as if I don't get away enough) and the more the merrier. I was planning a river trip then a San Diego trip and then a Vegas trip and she was ready for anything (my kind of girl).

I strolled into work at 9:30am on Tuesday morning and at 10am I get a text from Amanda, "Get the day off work, we are going to sea world." That's all it took. I texted her back and told her to give me a little bit of time and she was shocked I was actually going to come. It sounded like a fun time and I can't say no to fun. at 10:45 she was picking me up with 1 of her boys. She told me, "I wanted to go to Sea World today but I didn't know who would go with me but then I remembered you love doing random stuff so I had to call you." This girl knows me all too well.

Sea World was a blast, we saw all the animals and watched a show. It was fun to actually be doing something and plus Amanda is awesome so that made it even better. Her son was a hoot, he was a cool lil kid. He is 2 years old and loves to play. After the wonderful day at Sea World we went home and her son passed out the entire way home. There was never a break in conversation and this girl has got a great head on her shoulders. She dropped me off at my place, I gave her a hug and left. I didn't want to get to cuddly or kiss her because her son was there and I'm pretty sure that in the mommy book that is a big no no to do in front of your kids unless the guy is a serious boyfriend. I respected the boundaries and had an awesome day with an awesome chick.

Her and I have been talking since then and I'm still in the process of planning our 4th. Looks like we are going to have a bunch of friends gather in San Diego to hang out. I am leaving tonight with the boys and her and the girls are meeting us down there tomorrow. This should be interesting, she is riding down with Kerri and Amy.

The Plot Thickens

2008-07-02T15:39:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago before having some friends over to go out for the night I got a call from Kerri, she told me that her friend Amanda was going to meet up and come out with our group for the night. Since it was my house we were meeting at Kerri wanted to ask permission and any friend of hers is a friend of mine so of course I allowed it.

People started filtering into my place and then Kerri's friend came. Kerri had brought her out before and I had met her once but this night was different. I don't know if it was me or her but it seemed from the moment she walked in we were instantly drawn to each other. I made a point to not be around her too much because I didn't want to express too much interest or be to clingy, plus I had other friends to entertain.

We all drank a little at my place and then off to a bar. We got there and got a table on the patio. There was about 8 of us total in my group. We all were getting tipsy and having a great time. I don't know how it happened but something came up about Amanda and I and we said we were married. All night long, anyone who talked to her or I would hear about how in love we were and how we were the best spouses ever. It was our little game and it was fun. I like to role play with girls because it gives me and the girl a secret or a game if you will. It is always a great ice breaker and there are so many conversations and anecdotes that come with it.

I told her that as her husband I would take her to McDonalds for our anniversary and she can order anything off the dollar menu because she was worth it. I also bragged about knowing the Matre D at McDonalds so we'd be able to get a great table. It was fun conversation the entire night and by the end of the night I was smitten. I normally am never smitten over a girl after hanging out for the night but this girl was good.

The group decided we were all going back to a friend's house. Amanda made sure to ask if I was going to be there since we were in different cars. I assured her I was and off we were. We got to the house and everyone was getting wild. The girls were dancing and the boys were trying. Everyone was drinking and we were having fun. I found myself outside with my buddy Andrew and Amanda while this craziness was happening. We were all talking and during this she was telling Andrew and I how she had 2 kids. WHAT?!?! She is 23 with 2 children and she is a full time mommy. Now this took me aback for a second. I started having all the normal things run through my head. Is she looking for a dad? Is she really single? Does she still talk to the dad? I can't date a mom. This girl is awesome and good looking and fun and can actually hold a conversation.

The conversation proceeded and she answered a lot of questions before I even asked. She was talking about how her babies' father was an asshole and she only talked to him about the kids. She talked about the custody situation and all of that stuff. Andrew started joking that he would want to help her with her kids and he would help and support her. She looked at him straight faced and then told him she was married to me. It was completely adorable. I had given my number to her earlier in the night (you have to have your husband's phone number if you want to be a good wife) and while she was talking with Andrew she picked up her phone and sent a text. The next moment, my phone started vibrating. "You are the best husband ever", that's the text I got from her while she was sitting talking to Andrew. At this point I was completely smitten. We exchanged texts during her conversation with Andrew and then I excused myself to go to the bathroom.

I walked inside and the craziness was still going on. I went to the bathroom and then talked to Amy on the way out and got caught up in the conversation. We all stood around in the kitchen talking. Next thing I know, the sun is coming up and everyone makes note of this as time to go to bed. I crawl into the bed that I had reserved... alone. I guess Amanda had gone to bed in the 20 minutes that I had been talking to Amy.

The next morning I woke up to a house full of groggy partiers. I walked upstairs to see who was still around and walked into a bedroom. I found Kerri and Amanda sleeping in the bed together. Now I'm not much for sleep...errr when other people sleep. I love my sleep but I love not letting other people sleep more. I hopped directly in the middle of the girls' sleep fest and both of them woke up. Kerri, yelled at me for waking her up and then left the room and Amanda and I layed there talking for a bit.

Kerri gave us a ride home in the morning and we all said our good byes. There is a lot more to come on this, from just this past week alone and there will be a lot more next week. As for now, I am smitten.

Take It Easy...

2008-07-01T11:31:00.000-07:00

Wow, so this past week or so has been intense. Lets get down to business and start dishing some dirt. Last I said anything was that night I went out with Krissy. I had some extra tickets to Wicked for Thursday that I was sitting on that I was trying to get rid of but I told The Girl In The Mirror that if I still had them by mid day I would take her because she said she loved the musical but has never seen it. I thought it would be fun to go too. The day of the show I came into my office and the tickets had been sold the night before. I relayed the bad news to The Girl In The Mirror and our plans were off or so I though.

I had an appointment to give blood (SIDENOTE: I highly recommend everyone donate blood. It takes 20 minutes out of your day and helps a lot of people out. If you don't want to do it to help people then do it for the free cookies, snacks and juice you get after you finish.)after work that night and was texting The Girl In The Mirror on and off throughout the day. After it was established that we weren't going to go to Wicked the following texts were exchanged while I was at the blood bank:

GITM: So what should we do?
Mason: I dunno
GITM: Do you think we should continue to hang out?
Mason: I think we can hang out as friends
GITM: Agreed

I have nothing against The Girl In The Mirror. She is fun, down to earth, fun to have around, smart and witty. I just didn't really see anything really going very far between us. Although through our few dates and the blogging and what not I did learn a little about myself and why I didn't date as much. I am not used to pursuing girls aggressively at all. Normally I have girls pursuing me so when the roles were reversed I was out of my element and it was kind of weird for me. That's a story for another day though.

The next day I talked with Krissy and she wanted to hang out again. I was a little drawn back from this because she expresses interest and I am brushing it off as her just being a flirty girl and I'm not one to really make all too many moves so I am just hanging out with her as friends. I had plans but I invited her to tag along. She came to a friend's going away party and hung out. There was good friends, good food, and good times at the house. She got along well with all my friends and I didn't need to worry about her having a good time which was awesome. I had gotten a ride to the party with my roommate and she offered to give me a ride home.

She drove me to my house and when we got there she parked out front and we talked for a little bit. I lean over to give her a hug before I got out and she goes in for the kill! I was surprised at first but she went for it and shoved her tongue down my throat. At first I didn't know what to do then I remembered how to reciprocate and we sat in her car having a hot and heavy make out session for the next 20 minutes or so. This completely caught me by surprise but I am starting to think differently about this girl now. I'm thinking that the good girl act is just that, an act. We will have to see about this...

After the heavy petting I got out of the car and went off to bed. Earlier in the week I was shooting texts back and forth with Anna. She was texting me that she missed me and wanted to see me soon. I had been planning a trip at a gorgeous house in Palm Springs so I invited her to tag along and she agreed. It was only a one night trip but it still sounded like a lot of fun. I invited her and she came. Without getting into too many details, we had a great time in a great house. Between the pool table in the garage, the ferrari, go carts, movie theatre, pool and ping pong table that this house had we had fun.

I have been back for a few days now and haven't really talked with Anna since I have been back but that's our relationship. We go weeks without talking and then hang out for a weekend only to be repeated again.

Randomness From Randomness

2008-06-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

So I haven't seen Girl In The Mirror since we went out last week but we have been exchanging texts back and forth. I went out with some friends Friday night and over indulged myself. In this wonderful display of indulgence we had the great idea to go to fabulous Las Vegas. I, for one, am not all talk so at the sound of Vegas I got on my phone and booked a room. The next morning we left for Vegas and that is where I was this weekend. Nothing too exciting, I met up with some friends out there, we went out for the night, I woke up the next morning and we drove home. Gotta love spontaneity.

Monday it was back to work. While at work on Monday, Krissy texted me and told me she wanted to hang out. I haven't seen her in a couple weeks now and in her words, "[She] [wanted] to hang out and [she] [wouldn't] take no for an answer." Ok, sounds good to me. I was still tired from Vegas on Monday when we were texting and I told her that. She said we could just do a movie night and keep it mellow. That sounded awesome. Now if you remember from this post, I thought Krissy was just a really sweet girl and kinda shut her off just because I thought she was a little too reserved. This doesn't mean I can hang out with her. Like I said before she was fun and she had a personality to her. I always enjoy mixing things up and adding variables to my equation and I'm never against female friends. If you knew me you would know that, I have just as many, if not more female friends than male.

We didn't talk for the rest of the day and I was planning on hanging out with her and then 830 rolled around and sleep was banging at my door. I texted her and told her I had to flake and we would hang out the next night, she replied with a sad face and made me promise.

This leads me to Tuesday night. Krissy called me at work already with plans for the night.

"I don't know if I wanna do movie night, I kinda wanna drink."
"Ok, whatever you wanna do, I'm game. Let me know what you decide."
"Well some of my girlfriends are going to [Bar]"
"Whatever works, that's close to my place too."
"Ok, I'll pick you up tonight because I know you don't like driving." (really?)
"Ok, sounds good to me."

Throughout the day she texted me 3 different times changing the place but whatever, she was picking me up, I didn't have anything to worry about. When I got home she called me and told me the venue was changed again and she wanted me to meet her and she would drive from there.

I met up with her and hopped in her car, we drove to the bar and met up with a couple of her girlfriends and hung out at the bar. One of her friends was hanging out with a bunch of goobers so that led us to stay away from them. I was sitting at the table with 3 girls feeling completely out of my element. Krissy and I both know a lot of the same people. She was talking about a mutual friend of ours and told us she had talked to him earlier in the night. I told her she had to invite him out and she did. This was awesome because the guy we invited is a completely awesome guy. He came and evened out the ratio and grounded me and all of a sudden I didn't feel so awkward watching 3 girls talk about how they love Gwen Stefani's new line of purses.

Now Krissy is about 5'3" and a strong 100 lbs. Needless to say lightweight is and understatement when referring to her. She had 2 drinks at the table and was completely tipsy. Now, I'm all for drinking, I guess I just wasn't informed this was going to be a drunky night so I didn't bring my drinking shoes. We hung out at the bar a while and had some fun. The girls danced while my buddy and I hung out and drank some beers.

This went on for the rest of the night until we were ready to leave. Krissy was kind of flirting with me the entire night but I am a realist and I brushed it off as Krissy being Krissy because I watched her act the same way with my buddy. A lot of guys get the wrong impression by girls flirting with them and don't realize that a lot of girls are just flirty by nature. I see this and am able to know that when a girl flirts with me that it may have nothing to do with me and chalk it up as just another flirty girl.

After hanging out with my buddy the entire time Krissy and I left. We started driving and she pulled over and said she was too buzzed to drive because I had been offering to drive. I took driver seat and drove back to the car. We sat in her car talking for a bit and I made sure she was ok to drive before I left. She texted me when she got home to make sure I made it home safe....

Sushi, Taco Tuesday and LA

2008-06-20T13:47:00.000-07:00

I woke up early on Monday morning and ran a little bit over 3 miles before work. Needless to say I was feeling amazing all day because of that. I had a super day at work (for it being monday and all) and was texting some friends and also The Girl In The Mirror throughout the day. A group of my friends were going to a bar that I don't like to go to so I knew I wasn't doing that. I asked The Girl In The Mirror what she was doing and she had no plans. She had the idea to go to happy hour at a local sushi place which I haven't been to in a while and I was hooked on the ide. I picked her up from her place and we went there. The conversation was good and then she said something about me not posting from our first date. I readily informed her I had posted it earlier that day and there is no way she could have missed it. (I was wrong, she did) It was cute to see her grab for her phone to read it when we were sitting at the sushi bar. I told her I didn't want her to read it and she could read it later. She put her phone away. I mentioned something from the post and finally we opened it up on her phone and read it together. (She is a super fast reader and I couldn't keep up. Just an FYI cause I know you were wondering about that haha)

In driving back home after dinner some how the subject of the underground circle of pick up artists came up. I will research anything that interests me and after seeing the show on VH1 and hearing about the book "The Game" I started looking into it. I read The Game and then started reading some other material and learned a lot about the community as well as their tactics and techniques. I told her about this and how interesting it was and some of the stuff these guys do. These guys not only practice and share techniques on how to pick up women, they actually research psychology, social dynamics, human interaction, nuero lingustic programming, attraction instincts, and lots of other stuff to know how to approach and attract women. Not only do they know what to do but they know why it works which is key. Anyways, I told her there was some videos I had of these guys in action and asked if she wanted to see them and off we were. We went my place and I showed her the videos on my computer. We hardly got through the first one and talked a lot.

I don't know how it came up but she asked about a friend of mine that recently passed away. He was a close friend and it hit me hard when he passed. I don't really talk about it with people who didn't know him but she asked about him and for some reason I felt totally comfortable opening up and talking to her about him. This was very recent and because of that I still get choked up a little bit when talking about it and this was no exception. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know this but I felt myself getting choked up which is the reason I stopped talking about him.

It was getting late so we hopped in my car and dropped her off. I walked her to her door and gave her a hug. It was still awkward to go in for the kiss because it still seemed sort of forced so I didn't make a move and off I was

Tuesday was the Lakers game, I know, I am not happy about the way that turned out either, and my plan was to have some friends over for the game and then go out to a local taco tuesday place after. I knew The Girl In The Mirror was going to be there too because we were texting throughout the night and we had both planned on going. I had about 10 people over and near the end of the game only 1 person, Kerri, wanted to go. She offered to drive and we were off.

We got there only to see a huge line so I did what anyone would do. I scouted the line for someone I knew near the front and grabbed Kerri and stood in line with some friends I hadn't seen in a while. We got in and I knew a lot of people there. The Girl In The Mirror told me where she was sitting so I left Kerri with some friends we had seen there and went and sat with her. She introduced me to her friends who were all very nice but like I told them I wouldn't remember their names. (I am awesome at forgetting names) They left shortly after I sat down and we got up to get a drink. I introduced her and her friend to some of my friends. The guy I hopped in line with happens to be one of those friends. He also happens to be a really creepy guy that even creeps me out sometimes.

Kerri told me she wanted to leave and The Girl In The Mirror offered to give me a ride home and I accepted. I introduced her to some of my friends at the bar that I happened to see there and then we left after having some drinks. We ended up at Denny's which I think was my idea. I ordered food and she had french fries. I paid and we left. We got back to my place and I invited her in. We hung out in my room after surveying the damage my crazy roommate did to my door but that's a story for another time. We were laying on my bed and it was the right time to go in for the kiss just because it was unexpected and it wasn't forced at all. I started getting closer to her and just before our noses touched she says, "Are you trying to kiss me?". Ummmm, ya. We made out for a little bit and it was tons of fun. (Making out is a favorite past time of mine) At one point I laid back on my bed and we were talking and she had asked me a question. When I have alcohol in my system I talk in my sleep, eerrrrr, half consciousness A LOT. This time was no exception. I blabbered off a lot of nothing. She called me on it and I realized what had just happened. I knew I was too tired for life and it was time to end the night. I walked her to my doorstep, we said our goodbyes and she left.

I got to bed around 3 or so and was at work at 9am bright and early. I woke up hung over but with some breakfast and coffee I took care of that. We exchanged texts back and forth during day and I was planning on taking it easy that night just because of how tired I was. Amy was talking about coming over and bringing a movie and keeping it easy which sounded good. I was going to take her up on that and then I heard from The Girl In The Mirror. We exchanged texts and it was completely ambiguous. She said she had 2 free tickets to a show and was talking about it but I couldn't tell if she was inviting me or not so I just flat out asked. "This is completely ambiguous, are you inviting me? I'm confused." She told me she was if I was up for hanging out for a third night in a row. Sure, why not, sounds fun to me. She told me the show and where it was. I had never heard of the band but I love music none the less. I made a call to a friend in the industry and asked him about the show.

Me: I'm going to this show tonight, am I going to have a good time?
Him: There are going to be a lot of hipsters there and it's going to be a really mellow show, not like what you are used to but you should definitely check it out.
Me: Ok cool, what can you do for me at the show tonight?
Him: Dude, it's too late right now but if you would have called me 6 hours earlier then I could have gotten you backstage passes as well as passes to the VIP area with open bar
Me: That sucks, do it for me now.
Him: I can't, it's impossible but you'll have a good time

Boooo for me! She told me to meet her at her place and she would drive. I showed up there and we were off. The drive wasn't too bad, I'm just glad I remembered directions to where the venue was after only being there twice ever. (Go me!) We got the tickets and she made a comment how my pants weren't tight enough and her shoes weren't flat enough. It was actually really funny because of all the people we saw there.

We got in and went and stood in line for drinks. The line seriously took us 20 minutes to go through to get the drinks, I guess it's because it was $15 margarita night. I paid for the drinks and it was off to our seats. We got there right in time to see the band play. The band was actually really good. It wasn't my favorite type of music but I appreciate all types of music and this was some good stuff. The show ended at 11 and that is when we left.

She wanted to grab a bite and I wasn't opposed to it. I told her I wasn't too hungry because my ulcer was acting up but I would still have something wherever she decided. I don't know the LA area that well when it comes to places to eat. She used to live in the area and took me to this little place called Toi Thai food. It was my first time there and it was a really cool atmosphere. I have never had Thai food before so I had no idea what to order. I asked her and she made a suggestion and I took it.

I don't know about her but I was completely exhausted from the day I just had. It was midnight at this place and we were both sitting there texting. I couldn't help but think what we looked like to someone looking at us both sitting across from each other texting and not talking. I was texting a friend that lived in the area whom I had called earlier and he didn't pick up. I told him where I was and he said it was his favorite first date spot. That's a fun fact. As The Girl In The Mirror says, "[I] am full of fun facts."

By the end of the meal, I was mentally and physically drained, and not to mention still sore from my run. We had our fortune cookies and kept the fortunes. She picked up the check and we were off. On the way home I looked through her CD's and she scored major points with Anberlin, Head Automatica, Alkaline Trio, and some others. She was watching me go through the CD's and caught a glimpse of the Wicked CD and put that one in. For the rest of the ride she sang the songs from Wicked on the ride home.

We got back to her place and I said my goodbyes and got in my car and drove home. We didn't talk on Thursday but we were also both at work. I texted her at night to say hi and we exchanged some texts but that was all.

I have no clue where I stand, as for right now, I do enjoy hanging out with her and she is fun to be around. I guess we will just see what happens in the near future. I don't know if I will see her this weekend, I have plans with friends but we are a friendly group and maybe she can tag along?

On a completely unrelated sidenote: While away this past weekend I exchanged some texts with my ex. I was drunk and was a complete asshole and I know we fought but not too sure what about. I woke up on sunday morning and deleted her number from my phone. I would like to not talk to her ever again. That is wishful thinking on my part but when I do talk to her then there is just so many bad emotions involved that stem from a bad relationship and I don't like it at all. Hoooraahhh

Italian, Bowling and Beer

2008-06-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

So last Thursday was the day. If you read The Girl In The Mirror's post then you already know that we had planned to meet up. We were planning on getting together but our schedules conflicted which did not make it easy.

She got off work early on Thursday so we decided to do something then. I were exchanging texts during the day and I wanted her input on what to do. Mind you, I haven't been on a date in 2 years. I used to be a dating machine and could never figure out why I hadn't been on a date in so long until it actually hit me. It became too cliche for me. It seemed like every girl I ended up dating started out the same way. I dated numerous girls and it would always start out the same way, I guess I just got bored with it but we'll touch on that in a little bit. She said she didn't care and wanted me to come up with something. Boooo! I needed a hint, a clue, something to make the 'date' fun but then once again she was going out with me and I am more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

I took it upon myself to keep it simple. My plan was dinner and then at dinner I also planned on trying to come up with something on the spot as I am not really one for planning. I enjoy spontaneity and have always been spontaneous so why stop now?

I got off work at 6 and had some errands to run and and promised a client I would do him a favor. I was texting her during my errands and we told her I would be ready around 8pm. I was surprised how accurate I was because I am never good with times like that. While doing some work from home we exchanged texts. I asked her if she wanted to meet me at my place and I'll drive from there or if she wanted me to pick her up at her place. She chose to have me pick her up from her place. Now normally I wouldn't think this was a big deal but from reading some of her previous posts I know she has that creep shield up and doesn't like new boys knowing where she lives. (1 point for me, I don't come off as a creepster). I texted her before I left as she instructed and 5 minutes later I was pulling up to her place.

I got out of my car and walked to her door. I rang the door bell and heard some commotion inside. Her roommate answered the door, "I assume you're here for The Girl In The Mirror". "You are good", was my reply. "Come on in she'll be down in a second"

Really? I waited patiently and she came down and greeted me then it was right back upstairs for her. She came back down about 4 min later wearing a different shirt. (Golf clap for me noticing that one)

She didn't make me wait long and then we were off. She still didn't know where we were going and after dinner I didn't either. Last time (the first time) I had met her in person I was drunk. It turns out I was a lot more drunk than I thought I was. There was a lot more about that first conversation that I didn't remember but you better believe she was able to recall everything making me feel like a degenerate lush haha.

I took her to dinner at an Italian restaurant that I love. It was about 8:20 on Thursday when we got to the restaurant. We walked in, I said hi to a manager that I knew and we sat ourselves. The server came over to take our drink orders. She went first and got a water, I ordered a water and a Hefeweizen and the sever left. I could tell that she wanted to order a drink but held back because she didn't know if I was going to. It was kind of endearing because when our server came back she immediately ordered the same thing as me.

The conversation flowed and we talked about our families, friends, and crazy stuff we do. It was cool to see she was actually interested in my friends and asked a lot of questions. She does also know that my friends are super awesome and super important to me so she scored major points there. Things were going well and before our dinner was served my friend who runs the restaurant came over to our table, 3 shots in hand.

"Ok guys, are you ready?" He said as he placed a shot in front of each of us. Now I had no idea he was going to do this but it was a nice gesture and I couldn't say no.
"What is this?", I said
"I don't really know, ready? Lets go." Bottoms up, we all took the shot.

It actually wasn't too bad of a shot, it was pink and tasted all fruity. Just the kind of masculine shot that I love. We talked all throughout dinner and related a lot. It turned out the first night we met when I was wasted I asked her to go to Vegas right then. I don't remember that but I know that I am super spontaneous and a spur the moment Vegas trip when I am drunk always sounds like a good idea. It's super easy to do too because it takes me 1 phone call and a 4 hour drive and I get everything taken care of. This is what I apparently told her. Gosh, I am such a goober when I drink. At one point she said to me:

"You're that guy huh?"
"What guy?"
"You know that guy. The one that knows someone, the one that has like a connection everywhere."
"Hah, if you put it that way then it sounds cocky. I just like to think I know a lot of people. I am a friendly guy and I have a big social circle."

When we were finished we got our stuff in doggy bags and I informed the server to put the dinner on my tab. (I may kind of know the owners of the place so I have a running tab with them which makes everything super easy) I we had finished eating and talked while finishing our beers. I got caught up in the conversation and looked around and realized we were the last one in the restaurant. I felt bad because when you work at a restaurant, no one likes the last people that stay. I suggested we leave. I said bye to my buddy that runs the restaurant and off we were.

Now, this is as far as I had planned and standing outside I realized that I didn't think of anything else to do at dinner like I had wanted to. Oh well, lets see what there is. We hopped in my car and I had the great idea of checking out the hookah bar a couple doors down from the restaurant. I use the term 'great idea' loosely. We walked into the hookah bar and it was dark and smokey. There were little girls in front of us taking care of their stuff. As I looked around the place it just seemed really creepy. I'm not usually creeped out easily but the amount of stoners, bandana's and tattoos in this place was just a little too creepy for me. I suggested we leave and we did.

Now I was stuck for ideas, it was Thursday night and I knew of nothing going on other than going to a bar to meet up with my friends but that would just be dumb since I was already out with The Girl In the Mirror and I was enjoying her company so why add variables? I got the idea to go to this nice little spot about 30 minutes from where we were. We hopped on the freeway and off we were. As we were on our way, I questioned myself again and then didn't want to go to that spot. (If you couldn't tell, I am super indecisive) I thought bowling would be fun so I threw that out there and she said she was thinking the same thing. (Great minds think alike) Bowling it was. We got to the lanes and I paid for the games. I also told her that we never get shoes and they never check. What I forgot to mention was that I had been to this bowling alley once before and it was about 3 years ago. Whoops, sorry. I helped her pick out her balls that would be good for her. I got my balls and we were ready.

We typed our names in the score board and I had warned her on our way that I wasn't a bad bowler. She said she didn't want me to go easy on her. (She said it) I let her go first and after she threw the ball, 2 guys that worked there approached us and said we need to be wearing shoes. (Whoops, I meant to say at the other bowling alley I never wear shoes and always get away with it) We went back to the counter and I got her shoes because I felt bad. I ran to my car and got out my own shoes. Yes, I do have bowling shoes. No, I didn't buy them. Yes, I did steal them from a bowling alley. Yes, I feel bad about it. Yes, they are ALWAYS in my trunk.

I returned with my shoes and her and I were back on our lane with our nifty bowling shoes. While putting on our shoes I found out she hates feet. That's weird cause I hate feet too. I thought that was kind of quirky, whatever, on to bowling! She said she didn't really know how to bowl and asked for some help. I gave her some pointers that worked out well. Then she stopped listening to me and didn't do so well. Then she started listening again and doing better. She got a couple strikes and did well for a girl. (I know I'll get some crap for that one) We played 2 games and I bowled a 146 and a 164 if I am not mistaken. I am normally used to playing for money so I get kind of competitive but it was all in fun and I believe her when she said she let me win :-) (Thanks for that ego boost)

After bowling it was only around 1030 and I didn't want to go home yet. I suggest we just go drive till we find something. We drove down to the beach and drove along the coast for a little bit. We drove past a bar that I frequent and the following happened.

"We should go there"
"I'm down for whatever"
"Wait, no, nevermind, I will know too many people there"
(This is where I get a dirty look from her and I realize what I said and how it sounded)
"No! I don't mean it like that. I am out with you and I think it would be annoying to have a bunch of people I know around because then I would have to say hi and interact with everyone and I would feel bad for you." (I really meant it that way because I didn't want to take her someplace for her to watch me have a meaningless conversation with someone she didn't know)

I hope she understood but it was dropped after that. Earlier when she was saying I was 'that guy' I told her how my roommate always gives me crap about the fact that wherever we go I will see someone I know so because of that I decided to go to a place where I didn't think I would see anyone I knew. After all, I was out with her, and I wasn't out to go hang out with my friends. We went to a little bar that I have been to a few times in the past. We walked in and in under 2 minutes I spot a girl that I know working at the bar. I haven't been to this bar in about 6 months and apparently she started working there 2 months ago. I said hi and immediately introduced her to The Girl In The Mirror. I did this because I got some crap for it the last time I didn't introduce her. I know the girl because I had gone to her prom with her when I was 17 years old. I was a junior and she was a senior. We had kept in touch throughout the years and I see her out occasionally.

We sat at the bar and ordered drinks and before I could even go for my wallet she had already thrown her card on the bar. (Wowsa, that's kind of impressive) We sat there and talked. I could tell she was getting more comfortable and she told me a story about how she had a dream a few nights before she met me and she didn't recognize the guy in the dream and didn't know who it was. She told me that when she saw me the first time we met that I was the guy in her dream. That was really weird that she would dream about me and then I would meet her 2 days later. I had to make the obvious reference, "So literally speaking, I am the man of your dreams." :-)

She corrected me, "Literally speaking, you are the man from one of my dreams." haha, touche.

We moved to the patio and had another drink there. We talked more and she knew a lot about me already from reading my blog and looking on my myspace and facebook. She was able to put names and faces to people I talk about in my blog and asked a little bit about them. (This girl had done her homework) I gave her crap about her "Mystalking" me but it was entertaining to know she did her research.

We had a good night and at around 1 we decide to leave the bar and get her home. We got to her place and parked out in front.

"Do you want me to get out and walk you to the door?"
"You can if you want" (not moving)
"Well would you like me to?"
"You can if you want" (Ahh, now I understand, it was girl talk for 'yes')

I walked her to her door and gave her a hug. We both had a good time and agreed to do it again. I went in for another hug and I don't know if it was her or me that went first. For argument sake, I'm gunna say that it looked like she was going in for the kiss then me then her then me then her then we hugged. It was really weird and right then everything clicked for me! It's not that I don't like her. Actually it's the complete opposite. She is an awesome chick, and fun to hang out with. She can hold a conversation and she is intelligent. I know for a fact that the reason I didn't go in for that kiss was because it was too cliche. All at once it didn't seem sincere, it seemed like it would have been forced and that is so not in my personality. I am completely not cliche. I am spontaneous and I am lucky enough to do a lot of what I want when I want. Walking her to the door and then the hug and then a kiss, it just seems so planned, so cliche, so unoriginal and that is so not me. Ask anyone that knows me to describe me and they will all say the same thing. I am unconventional, I am a free spirit, I am a big kid at heart and a huge jokester. This was too conventional for me and driving home after dropping her off I was thinking about it and I think that is one of the reasons I subconsciously stopped going on dates. A lot of them feel cliche and forced. I would rather hang out in a comfortable environment where both parties can be themselves instead of going through these ritualized steps of interaction that people call dating.

After this awkward exchange I had to call her out, "You just tried to kiss me!" She denied it and blamed it on me. We shared a laugh and I started to walk away. I she blew me a kiss and closed the door. (Cheesy but endearing) I got back in my car and dr0ve home. I sent her a text, "You left your leftovers in my car." (Really? Ya, I couldn't believe that's all I said too. I wanted to say something and that's all I could come up with on the spot. My dorkiness precedes me.)

In conclusion, I had a great time and I don't 'kinda think' we will hang out again, I know it for a fact :-) Until then text message warfare will continue between us...

On a side note, I know she is waiting for me to post this first so she can post hers after she reads mine.

On a side not just to her: I did it first! Now it's your turn ;-)

Killing Curiosity

2008-06-09T14:38:00.000-07:00

Last week, before writing This post, I emailed The Girl In The Mirror who writes A Date In The Life to get her approval on doing the post since I did get the idea from her post. From there she randomly asked me where I lived (I'm always willing to have some small talk with a fellow blogger), I told her and it turns out she lives like 3 minutes from me. We then started talking more, she is the same age as me too. Now this is really weird for me because I have been born and raised in this 10 mile radius my entire life so when I meet someone around here, either I know them or we share mutual friends. Turns out, neither one implies to her (Still weird to me) although we did a little bit of talking about where we hang out (We hang out at like all the same places).

She came up with the fabulous idea that since we both write about basically the same things then we should go on a blind date, "For the sake of good material" (It's ok, if I were in her shoes, I would love to meet me too.... haha)

I haven't been on a date in a while, and never been on a blind date. This sounded like it may have some potential and actually be really fun. I couldn't say no. She had me hooked on the idea but wouldn't pull the trigger when it came to asking me out :-) I assumed she would after all the current dating experience she has and my assumption that she knows my lack thereof. Nothing, I got nothing.

We shot texts back and forth on Friday. It was a lot of small talk about about plans for the night and the weekend. I was planning on going out of town that night to hang out and stay with Jim, but after talking with him during the day he told me he had been single for a week now and wanted to come stay with me and go out on the town with me. I couldn't argue with that. We all decided to head out for an enthusiastic night of drinking. Cheese was able to get away from his daughter that night. Kerri, Cheese and Jim met up a little bit later at my place. We were all sitting around drinking and talking about what we wanted to do for the night when Cheese and Jim thought it would be a good idea to start off with shots at around 8pm. I can't say no to my buddies so at 8pm we started. Shot for shot, drink for drink.

This went on for about 2 hours until we had to call a taxi around 10. (needless to say, from 8-10 we may have over indulged in the shots thanks to my boys) First stop was Fox Sports Grill where a friend was bartending. (I love my free drinks) Upon arrival at the bar things were already a little blurry. My buddy feeding me free drinks did not make me anymore sober.

I was very much inebriated and I was texting The Girl In The Mirror from the bar. At this point I didn't know her name, what she looked like, or anything about her. I knew whereabouts she lived and how old she was. This not saying much was her idea in hopes of a true blind date.

I guess her curiosity got the best of her because after a couple drinks at the bar I was standing outside on the phone with her watching her walk up to the bar.

We had our introductions and decided to walk to Dave and Busters because I had friends there. Now at this point, I was officially drunk and trying to play the sober card. (I hope I did a good enough job.) We ended up walking to the bar and took a seat. At this point the night is a blur. I remember Jim, Kerri, and Cheese coming over occasionally while her and I were talking at the bar. I remember bits and pieces of conversations and I remember that I thought she was adorable.

She bought me a drink (Points for her) and she got a Hefeweizen (even more points). I would love to talk about what was said in full but I'm still waiting for someone to tell me. Things I remember about the conversation: Talking about our blogs and how I started mine, where she was from, the Art of Attraction? and my friends? I don't recall much except that I was trying to concentrate on not being as drunk as I was. My friends were wanting to leave and she said she would give me a ride back to my place since I only lived less than 2 minutes from her. My friends called a taxi and I was being driven home by The Girl In The Mirror.

We got back to my place and she came in for a little bit and I do remember showing her my cat. I wasn't planning on trying to seduce her or anything of the sort. I think I just wanted to show her my cat. (I do weird things when I'm drunk) My boy cat with a girls name. I have had this cat for 4 months and I just find out this cat was a boy when I dropped him off at the vet and I get a call 20 minutes later, "Ummm, you know your cat is a boy right? He has testicles. We are just gunna cut those off instead of the spay you wanted to do. Ok?" (WTF!? Umm, ok. So now I have a boy cat with a girls name with no testicles. SWEET!)

She didn't stay long. From what I remember she came in, said hi to my cat and friends and left. Now a lot of this may sound choppy but that's how I remember it.....well lets face it, Jim is a big guy and very persuasive so when he wanted me to take the 10 or 12 or 13 shots with him before we went out then I did. I don't get to see him too regularly so why not have a good time with him.

I texted her the next day and to make sure I didn't embarrass myself the night before. (I tend to completely embarrass myself when I drink that much) She says I was fine and I'll take that answer all day long.

So much for the thought of my first blind date, now it's just got to be a real one and I gotta be a lot more sober...

I still feel kinda bad for being so drunk...

Dateless? Hardly...

2008-06-06T13:14:00.001-07:00

I was recently talking with someone when the idea of a blind date came up. This is when I realized that I have never ever been on a blind date. Ya I have been set up with people but I don't consider that a blind date. It's more of the, "I have a friends I want you to meet" type thing and that's always easy. Then I started thinking and I realized I haven't been on a date in a LONG time. I'm talking about like a real date date. Like a "I'll pick you up at 8 and then we'll do dinner and a movie" type date. Then my mind started wandering and I started thinking about why. Then it hit me, I really never had the need to go on a date.

I am content with my friends because I have the best friends ever. They are hands down, the coolest people I know and that is why I hang onto them as friends. As for the girls in my life, ever since I have been single I haven't needed to date. I am happy being single so I have never really hunted down girls to date. As it works out I seem to always have girls in my life. I guess I am lucky because of that. I have a big social circle and I am always meeting new people because of that and it seems to work out well.

I can get dates, that's no problem but I guess I have become comfortable with getting to know someone in a group atmosphere before actually having that one on one time. It's like Vince Vaughn says in Wedding Crashers:

"I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair."

To contradict myself once again, I am very open to dating, I have just been lucky enough to have a large enough social circle where dating isn't a necessity.